Hey, everyone, Dancing With The Stars is back! No, wait, don’t leave, that’s good news. No, really, it is.
The show has something for everyone. If you like dancing, there’s dancing. If you like bizarre costumes that tend to make people you used to admire look like a cross between a low-budget prostitute and a cartoon of a little Dutch girl, then there’s that. And if you like stars, then… well, actually this is where Dancing With The Stars usually falls down. The contestants are often so painfully obscure that if you’ve even heard of four of them it feels like an enormous moral triumph.
But this year Dancing With The Stars has pulled out all the stops and hired celebrities who you will have definitely heard of. They’re all genuinely awful human beings, but at least you’ll know who they are. And that’s something, right? Full Dancing With The Stars line-up after the jump…
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Audrina Partridge loves animals – her surname is a type of animal, plus she stars in The Hills and some animals live on hills.
But Audrina Partidge does love animals. And, as a reality television star, Audrina Partridge is also the sort of person who’d probably massacre her family if it meant she’d get a headline from it. So combine the love of animals and the compulsive attention-seeking and what do you get? That’s right – a new PETA campaign where Audrina Partridge gets to strip.
Not strip naked, mind you. In that respect, Audrina Partridge thinks that animals can piss off.
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Grief? An uneasy feeling that undesirables have been in your home? You’ve been watching The Hills, haven’t you.
Or you’ve been burgled. Basically the effects of either are identical. Just ask Audrina Partridge – she’s in The Hills and now she’s been burgled as well. Plus she has to talk to Spencer Pratt sometimes. Talk about unlucky.
But more fool the burglars, because Audrina Partridge managed to catch them on camera. This basically means that they’ll probably end up with their own MTV reality show. At least they’ve got a talent, which admittedly puts them a nose in front of Audrina.
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Hey, everyone, Dancing With The Stars is back! No, wait, don’t leave, that’s good news. No, really, it is.
