Filth. Absolute filth. That’s what today’s celebrities are. You wouldn’t get old, classy celebrities like Marilyn Monroe posing naked for photographs would you? Certainly not. She had self-respect.
However, thanks to the wonderful technological advances of mobile phones and those cameras they’ve got built into them, we are now a planet of people capturing their nether-regions and sending them to other humans.
Celebs are no different… apart from the small fact that people want to hack into their phones and share them with the world. So which leaked celebrity n00dz are the best? Click over the jump where it is astonishingly NSFW.
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Demi Lovato may well be a young, tender and impressionable woman, but we can all take great joy in her having personal issues because she worked for Disney and it is completely fine to mock anyone who came through its ranks.
Why? Don’t ask us. We didn’t make the rules. Like Blue Peter presenters, if they’re to be roundly hooted at when they balls-up in life.
And so, Lovato’s anguish of what she described as a “nervous breakdown” may well be upsetting normally, the fact that she’s Mickey Mouse’s spawn makes the whole thing rather hilarious! SHE WANTED TO DIE! HAHAHA! WHAT A HOOT!
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Joe Jonas and Ashley Greene have, crushingly, called time on their romance. What will us plebs aspire to now in matters of the heart. For here, we lie jaded, broken and listlessly twitching on our knees, wondering if true love even exists anymore.
It is gone, blown away on a cruel, tender breeze along with our hopes which are fading like the last lingering flickers of the day as the sun sets in all of our hearts.
And Joe Jonas (who may or may not be pictured right, we’ve no idea which clone we’ve featured) is totally not a great big gay. Okay? He’s not. He’s really not a massive gay. Just to clear that up.
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Imagine, if you will, two people going on a date which involves sushi. Of course, your first thought is that, provided they’re not Japanese, they should probably be strung-up or lamped with a bat of some kind.
That aside, the news that people are on a date which involves food isn’t too Earth shattering is it?
Well, you haven’t heard the story of Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas dropping in for a late-night meal in Baton Rouge which ended up killing over three-thousand people. No, honestly. Read More >>>
It doesn’t matter if you’re a vaguely famous human, you’re still a human. That means you’re still prone to being an unreasonable, ratty, snarky prick. Take troubled Disney star (we’re legally obliged to say that every time we mention her name) Demi Lovato for example. She’s been acting like a tool after being dumped by a Jonas Brother.
She sent a bitchy email, probably flooding her keyboard with mascara filled fluid, to her ex-Joe Jonas’ current beau Ashley Greene.
Apparently, Lovato was so pissed-off by the Clone-ass Brother’s decision to date Ashley Greene and… well… his decision to flaunt her and rub Lovato’s nose in it like forcing a puppy’s face in its own excrement when it makes a mess of the new rug, that she fired off what has been described as “a very nasty e-mail” to Greene.
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Ashley Greene is very close to joining the cast of Scream 4.
The Twilight nobody, who became a somebody after naked pictures of her came out on the internet, has been offered to step into Neve Campbell’s shoes in Wes Craven’s fourth instalment of the annoying horror franchise.
Heroes star Hayden Panettiere and yet another malnourished Culkin brother, Rory, will be joining Greene is getting sliced up with a huge knife – which, ironically, was how hecklerspray felt throughout the whole of Scream 3.
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Imagine what it’s like being a star of Twilight who isn’t Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart or Taylor Lautner.
It must be crap. The producers could replace you whenever they wanted, you’re constantly being overshadowed on the red carpet, and nobody has so much as urinated down themselves for you, let alone carved a rudimentary image of your face into their forearm with the remnants of a broken milk bottle. Yep, being a peripheral Twilight figure must be crap.
But at least it’s well paid. After some frosty contract negotiations, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz – who play two vaguely inessential characters in the Twilight franchise – have finally signed up to star in Breaking Dawn for a highly increased fee. So when you come to watch Breaking Dawn, be thankful that Greene and Lutz are in it instead of two other people who are just as equally forgettable but slightly less greedy.
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In the space of seven days we’ve seen Vanessa Hudgens naked and Miley Cyrus poledancing. That’s sexy. Or uncomfortably creepy.
Let’s go with creepy. But this disturbing tweeny flesh parade isn’t over yet. Now Ashley Greene – who plays Alice in the Twilight movies – has become the latest celebrity to find naked pictures of herself dumped onto the internet. Honestly, some people will do anything to get noticed by Robert Pattinson.
The naked photos have horrified Ashley Greene. Her naked body is sacred, and only for the people who’ll watch the crappy thrillers she’ll make once her career goes tits up.
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