Ashley - HecklerSpray

Resident Evil 6 ? Will It Be Gash?

August 5th, 2012 By Paul Pencott

Video games get sequels all the time. We’re near-constantly being beaten around the head with them. Yet, there are few video games that prompt more feverish excitement amongst fans than the Resident Evil series, so let's have a gander at the trailer for Resident Evil 6 shall we?

The uneducated will confuse this with the trailer for some dreadful Underworld-style actual film, but hardcore Resident Evil fans will be simultaneously excited and dismayed by the teasers for ?the gaming experience of 2012? (ie: ?the gaming experience of four hours of 2012 so they can be the first to post a review on gamefaqs.com?).

Use your bleary, bloodshot eyes to watch the trailer and read our jokes over the jump:

Heath Ledger’s Death Nothing to do With the DEA Anymore

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

The DEA investigation into the death of Heath Ledger has been closed with a great deal of secrecy, confusion and ’embarrassment’ all round.

Yes, it would seem that everyone involved in the investigation – which covered the whole of the US – can breathe a sigh of relief, as they will not have to present themselves in front of a grand jury. This includes one Mary-Kate Olsen, whose involvement with Ledger was something questions have been raised about for a number of months now.

Fortunately for the twin-billionaire, with the case being dropped she will no longer be forced to appear for any legal proceedings, nor will she have to keep up her claims for immunity.

The collective eyebrow of the world probably isn’t quite as raised any more.

Celebrity Divorce Betting Odds: Cruise, Beckham & Aguilera

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The start of a new year is a time to wipe the slate clean, to reflect on one’s past negativity and move on determined to right one’s wrongs imbued with a fresh sense of goodwill and radiant positivity.

And that’s why the very first hecklerspray post of 2008 is all about celebrity divorces. Not only that, but it’s a betting odds post, meaning that we’re effectively giving you the chance to make a crazy amount of money by exploiting the misery of others. Over the next couple of days we’re giving you the chance to bet on which celebrity couple will be the first to file for divorce in 2008. Bah, radiant positivity is overrated, anyway.

So here are the celebrity divorce betting odds for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, Posh and Becks and Ashley and Cheryl Cole, with help from Paddy Power…

PETA, Like, Totally Hates The Olsen Twins

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You know Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the young twins who you've barely ever thought about in your entire lives, especially recently?

Yeah, PETA bloody hates them. Although Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are just living the sort of life that people of their youth and wealth are expected to – riding around in carriages made of knitted saffron, employing small Taiwanese children to cling onto the soles of their feet and act like super-chic screaming shoes, eating spacedust through straws made of the spines of deceased international dignitaries, that sort of thing – PETA has singled the pair of them out for the full brunt of their abuse because they wear fur coats now and again. That's right, PETA doesn't call them Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen any more – it calls them Hairy Kate and Trashley Trollsen.

And that's fighting talk right there.