Ashes - HecklerSpray

Kurt Cobain’s Ashes Get Smoked For Art

March 25th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

Apparently, in this modern age we live in, art isn’t just a picture on a wall which some poor bastard has spent years carefully colouring in.

Oh no, these days you can say that burning a shopping trolley demonstrates excess anger and throwing pool balls at walls is a metaphor for breaking boundaries – not for pissing off people. And now Australian artist Natascha Stellmach is using the remains of Kurt Cobain to investigate suicide and the power of desecration.

Kurt Cobain did the exact same thing with a shotgun.

Kurt Cobain’s Remains Toddle Off For A Jolly Summer Holiday

March 24th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

When we found out that Kurt Cobain’s remains had been nicked, we immediately jumped to one conclusion – that his husky ex-wife Courtney Love had to be involved.

Surely you can imagine her grave robbing at 3am whilst the rain lashes down? With a cigarette firmly shoved in her cakehole, she’ll scream to any passing squirrels “he’s mine all mine, they blamed me for his death. But they’re wrong! I’ll take him back where he belongs”. You can’t? Oh, shame on you.

We can, and yet our theory of Courtney Love scurrying off in the dead of the night to stuff and mount her dead husband was quickly shit on. It turns out that during a robbery in her LA home, the ashes of grunge’s only credible frontman were nicked. And some clothes and jewellery, lets not forget the small details. Maybe it was Dave Grohl being bonkers as usual and wanting to impersonate her. Drummers, mental aren’t they?

Keith Richards: I Really DID Snort Dad’s Ashes Up My Hooter

March 24th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

It’s a predicament we’ve all faced, really.

You bring a newly-cremated loved one home and open up the urn, only to have some of the ashes spew onto the table. Dang it all. Now you have to go to the trouble of carefully sweeping the ashy vestiges of your great granny back in there using your pinky. Unless you’re Keith Richards. If you’re Keith Richards you daub up those ashes on your pinky and stick it up your nose hole and snort like you’ve never snorted before.

For reals this time, guys. This time he says he really did it for reals.