Piers Morgan, the ever lovable former Daily Mirror editor and man for whom the word smarmy was invented, certainly has gotten his large, soiled knickers in a twist of late.
We’re not even half way through the week and he’s already attempted to take some cheap shots at 2 people who are infinitely more famous and loved than him.
It’s the equivalent of the school weed slagging off the popular kids because they won’t invite him to their fancy pool parties when their parents go to Tuscany for the weekend. Read More >>>
It must be hard being Pippa Middleton; trying to be a serious business woman and gallivanting around London, made all the more difficult because everyone knows you for being the one with the arse that stole your sister’s wedding day.
Poor, poor Pippa.
But a tabloid picture editor has come forward and announced that newspapers would be offered around 300 or 400 pictures PER DAY of the fitter Middleton, none of which are of her arse.
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The three big successes of the Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton was the Austin Martin cameo at the close of proceedings… the other two? Notably, Pippa Middleton’s two arse cheeks.
Pippa has gone from being the sister of the star attraction to being something of an overnight sensation, with people only ever talking about her behind. Or that picture of her dancing drunkenly in a bra.
So, along comes Vivid Entertainment boss, Steven Hirsch, with a cheque book, a dirty look in his eye and an offer for Pippa to star in an adult movie!
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Spring is in the air, those gloomy winter days are behind us for another year and we can look forward to all of the joys that the sunshine brings: flowers blooming, birds singing and, most importantly, BOOBS!
That’s right, it’s the time of year where celebrity clothes disappear at the same rate as clouds.
This week we’ve been treated to many a celebrity disrobing, so we’ll break them down one by one… over the jump you penises.
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This week’s rematch between Tom Cruise and Oprah Winfrey looks set to be the most exciting self-serving marketing stunt of the year!
However, we didn’t know what Tom Cruise and Oprah were going to discuss during Tom’s interview – until now. Because now it seems like it’s mostly about Tom Cruise’s arse.
Part of Oprah’s interview – conducted at Tom Cruise’s Colorado home – involved Oprah riding on Tom’s snowmobile, an experience that left Oprah blithering on about Tom Cruise’s butt and adding that she now knows what Katie Holmes sees in him. Financial gain despite an outwardly unconvincing relationship? Yep, actually that sounds about right.
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The human body is a brilliant thing – apart from enabling us to do major stuff like walking, eating and breathing, various parts of our body can also be used for immature fun.
Take the bottom for example. There are tons of alternative words for this piece of flesh. Ass, arse, batty, behind, booty and bum are just some of the brilliant ways to describe it. Sometimes you may have to come to terms with your own bottom while having a shower in the morning. There you see yourself in all your hideous glory. So it’s not like you’d be shocked to see an image of an arse on TV, is it? Apparently so.
NYPD Blue recently showed an episode which depicted a female arse. Not a problem you’d think. Well it is, and there may be some punishment to the network ABC.
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When Angelina Jolie made Beowulf, she knew she was making the tricky transition between 'ultra-earnest humanitarian actress' to 'mostly-naked computer-generated Old English mythical half-sex lizard from the year 700 AD.'
And of all the transitions a woman can make, it's probably the hardest one – one minute you're crying over pictures of sad third-world orphans and the next minute you're having your head chopped off by Ray Winstone's virtual sword in a sexy way – but it's one that Angelina Jolie can make without even breaking her stride. And how did Angelina Jolie do this? By turning up to the London Beowulf premiere in a pair of leather trousers so skin-tight that her bum-stitches burst wide open, forcing Brad Pitt to spend the rest of the evening trying to cover up Angelina's arse-spillage with his hands, that's how!
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