Arnold Schwarzenegger - HecklerSpray

Frequent Groper Arnold Schwarzenegger is Hilariously Against Trump

October 9th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

In case you haven’t been following the story because you’ve been in a coma up until this very moment, shit has really hit the fan for Donald Trump and this whole ‘Grab her by the Pussy’ Gate. Since the absolutely disturbing video leaked of him bragging about assaulting women, every Republican under the sun has come out against him, even his vice presidential running mate, Mike Pence.

While I actually applaud most Republicans for publically saying they won’t vote for Trump and that he should step down from the race, one Republican really has me amused with his Donald Trump hate, and that’s none other than California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Disgusting Naked Sex Photo to Shock the World

January 31st, 2013 By Chris Chambers

A?photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger engaged in a “sex act” and?unpublished nude photos of a young Madonna were recently discovered?amongst private items formerly owned by Penthouse publisher, Bob Guccione. At least one porn site has already made a bid for the photos with the intention to publish them online.

I have to say, there’s very little less appealing to me than seeing Arnold?Schwarzenegger performing anything, much less a sex act. And the world is certainly not suffering from?any lack of nude photos of Madonna. (Search on “Madonna nude” and dozens pop up.)

The Most Ridiculous Celebrity Santas Ever

March 23rd, 2013 By Chris Starr

We are but DAYS away from St. Nick sliding his way down your chimney (have you ever thought that actually, what Santa does is breaking and entering?) and like everyone else, celebrities are of course willing to dress up and impersonate the great man himself for your delectation.

But why would you want to do that? It seems strange that celebrities are willing to crush the dreams of children everywhere by saying that actually, Santa isn’t necessarily some fat dude at the North Pole. He can also be Katy Perry stretching her gamine limbs on stage at the Jingle Ball.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito To Star In Triplets With Eddie Murphy (WHAT?!)

March 30th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Rehashing old films is the order of the day in Hollywood currently. 3D rereleases of old tat and revamps of 80s TV series, boardgames and movies are rampant. With Total Recall getting remade without Arnie, what can he do with his time?

Well, when he’s not constantly saying sorry for shagging his maid and having a secret child with her, he’s obviously looked toward the comedic roles that were terrible in a non-ironic enjoyment way.

And so, in what is one of the most peculiar news stories of 2012, it appears that?Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito will be revisiting their Twins film, bringing along Eddie Murphy to make the sequel, Triplets. No. The milkman didn’t spike you this morning.

New Total Recall Trailer Has A Trailer All Of Its Own [Video]

March 28th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Have you seen Total Recall? Stupid isn’t it? The only good bits are the woman with 3 boobs, the robot taxi driver, Arnie’s woman disguise, the funny Krang-esque stomach face and Arnie pulling that massive thing out of his nose.

Hang on. Total Recall is clearly brilliant.

Going from apathetic to furious, the film is being remade and the trailer for the trailer has been unleashed online. The full thing is coming on Sunday, but it’ll be awful. It’s got Colin Farrell in it for a kick off.

Samuel L. Jackson To Reunite With Tarantino For Slave Japes! Schwarzenegger Too?

September 14th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Samuel L Jackson is, once again, going to be teaming up with Quentin Tarantino. It has been confirmed and everything. This is fine, fine news.

Jackson’s publicist has told Variety that the actor has signed up for the film Django Unchained.

What’s Django Unchained? We like to think of it as Slave Japes. We also really hope Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a role in it. Let us explain.

Arnold Schwarzenegger May Have Had A Vague Idea That Everyone Thinks He’s A Rotten Swine

July 27th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Rumours of being a little bit gropey, a secret love baby with the house maid, a Republican and a man who didn’t want to give his wife any divorce money. Yep. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been a prize bell-end over the years, especially so in recent months.

It’s concerning the divorce pennies that has seen Arnie looking his most callous. Basically, in America, you say sorry with either rehab or money. Seeing as the actor’s soon-to-be-ex wife, Maria Shriver, isn’t interested in reconciliation, it’s cash she wants. And for him to then go far, far away until he’s just a speck on the horizon.

However, it seems that Arnold may have had a thought that he may actually have something to say sorry for.

Schwarzenegger Doesn’t Want To Give His Ex Any Money, Because He’s Giving It All To His Secret Baby Probably

July 22nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Caught with his trousers well and truly ’round his ankles, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been in the doghouse for a while now. After keeping a child of his secret, which he had with the maid, you’d assume that he would re-emerge more graceful and humble.

However, subtlety isn’t one of Arnie’s strong points, as his consistently hilarious acting career has pointed out time and time again.

Of course, The Terminator is going through a rather sticky divorce, and he’s already playing hardball. Basically, he’s decided that he doesn’t want to pay his beleaguered soon-to-be-ex wife, Maria Shriver, any spousal support. That’s nice of him isn’t, baring in mind that this situation is entirely his fault.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Secret Baby Momma Talks About Crying On Her Knees

June 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

While Arnold Schwarzenegger sits in an unlit room, weeping over a photograph of the family he tore to pieces like a baddie in a blockbuster, we’ve all been wondering what the fresh hell Mildred ‘Patty’ Baena has to say about her secret love-child with the former governor of California.

She’s been showing a rare, dignified silence whilst working out who was going to pay her the most money to talk about the time Arnie forgot to pop a condom on.

And now, Schwarzenegger’s former housekeeper has decided to speak up about it all, noting that she only told her son who daddy was about a year ago, which is nice isn’t it?

Apparently, We’re All Being Racist When We Gloat At Schwarzenegger’s Affair

May 27th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Isn’t it funny that actors get so uppity when they’re caught with their pants down? They usually howl that mistresses are telling stories for little more than financial gain. Ironic given that is exactly what actors do for a living. As such, we shouldn’t be surprised when it transpires they’ve been hoodwinking us with a lie.

Of course, this is all revolving around Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wandering member. Make your own Sperminator jokes.

However, because we’re all cooing and hooting at this sorry tale, apparently it makes us all rather racist. Is it because we constantly mention Arnie’s funny talking voice? Nope. It’s because we’re only interested in the story because he had sex with a Hispanic woman.