Will Megan Fox’s T&A replace that of Victoria Beckham as the new “face” of Armani?

Megan Fox’s remaining fans who didn’t turn their backs (or genitals) on her during Megan Fox Media Blackout Day, will be chomping at the bit over this news. In only a few months time, we could be seeing a wooden, black and white Megan with her goodies hanging out of a pair of overpriced smalls.

Victoria Beckham’s formerly inflated assets had been doing a sterling job of representing the brand for the last two years. During that time we have had the pleasure of watching her contort herself into a delightful array or poses, all for the sake of art.

However, things have changed since the start of the campaign. Victoria’s chesticles are now a size or two smaller than at the start of the campaign and Armani clearly want someone packing a little more heat. Ha, just shitting. They don’t care about chest size, so long as the model in question is willing to flash to all and sundry for the foreseeable future.

From AHN:

Megan Fox is reportedly replacing Victoria Beckham as the new face of Armani. The “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” star is said to be the next spokesperson of the Emporio Armani underline line. Beckham, who stars in the ads with husband David, allegedly will not renew her one-year contract with the brand and will instead concentrate on her own numerous fashion and beauty projects.

Victoria is at present too busy focusing on her new clothing line and TV appearances to carry the Armani contract forward. That being the case, it seems people actually buy her clothes – who knew? – and her one off ‘stiff’ appearance on American Idol was enough to quality as a TV career.

From the Fashion Time:

Just days after the release of Mrs Beckham’s Armani AW09 campaign, Victoria decided not to renew her yearly contract with Armani. She instead announced she will invest in her career as a fashion designer. The launch of her latest collection at Net-a-porter.com was acclaimed by fashion editors all over the world.

Victoria had a shot at being the next 80′s pop icon. Oh wait, no – she only had the chance to be the next Paula Abdul - swaying wildly and murmuring through a mouthful of medication that she loved even the most dire of contestants.

From Radar Online:

Everyone agreed that Victoria Beckham looked lovely as she showed up for her first day of work Friday as an “American Idol” guest judge. But that apparently is where the compliments stop. “It didn’t go too well,” a source close to the production told RadarOnline.com exclusively. Posh Spice was apparently quite bland. “She tried to hard to be ‘nice,’ but came off as icy and wooden,” the source added.

Megan could be the better choice for a whole host of reasons. Well two reasons. Two fair-sized reasons that always appear to have erect nipples.

In lieu of the actual Angelina Jolie who had long been rumoured to be a replacement alongside David Beckham in the upcoming Armani underwear campaigns, her doppelganger is a suitable and reasonably cut-priced alternative. Yay for the recession.

This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, who deserves your adulation.

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Ladies! Do you wish your boobs could look more like a prolapsed nutsack? You don’t? That’s disappointing.

Because we’re pretty sure that was what Victoria Beckham was shooting for in her new advert for Emporio Armani underwear. OK – do any of you ladies want to turn your boyfriends on by giving them the chilling impression that your skin could peel off leaving behind a metallic, hydraulically-operated endoskeleton? Still no? Victoria Beckham isn’t doing great here, is she?

What about a pencil drawing of a toddler as sketched by an uncomfortably horny teenager? No? Oh well. Sorry Victoria Beckham. We tried.

They say that the computer is the invention capable of making the most mistakes without dying, but that’s clearly rubbish. It’s Victoria Beckham. Victoria Beckham is the invention capable of making the most mistakes without dying. Virtually everything that Victoria Beckham has done in the last few years has been a terrible, anguished, soul-eroding mistake.

Victoria Beckham’s attempts to become a television presenter? Mistake. Victoria Beckham’s entire relocation to America? Mistake. Victoria Beckham’s Spice Girls reunion? Short-lived mistake. Victoria Beckham’s new haircut? Mistake that makes her look like a male paedophile with an eating disorder.

But despite all this, there are a few things that Victoria Beckham excels at. There’s her career as a fashion designer, for instance, which is enormously successful in its own right and has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that her husband is one of the most famous men on the planet with a salary so offensively large that it can subsidise whatever ridiculous vanity projects her brain decides to arbitrarily fart out. And then there’s twatting about in a bra.

Victoria Beckham is brilliant at twatting about in a bra. She’s proved it before – roughly every time she feels that public interest in her is dwindling, she’ll whack on a lacy bra and flop about for a photographer like a dehydrated toilet floatball – and she’s proved it again now with a new poster for Emporio Armani underwear.

There’s not a lot to say about Victoria Beckham’s new underwear advert, really, except that the part of Victoria Beckham seems to be played by Otzi The Iceman and that as the picture was being taken Victoria seems to be trying to remember what number comes after two. But still, at least Victoria Beckham took the advert more seriously than anyone on the planet, which is to say she actually gave it more than a second of passing thought. Hello reports:

“I was so excited about doing this and I worked out really hard,” the mum-of-three said at the unveiling of the campaign in New York on Wednesday. “I’ve been doing a lot of running because… I look OK but if I am going to be taking my clothes off then I wanted to tone up a little bit! So I’ve worked hard to have the confidence to do it.”

And, really, fair play to her. Victoria Beckham was only paid £12 million to be in the Armani campaign, so it’s great that she showed willingness to tone up for it. We heard that Victoria Beckham doesn’t usually get out of bed for that sort of money.

Actually, that’s not strictly true – she can’t get out of bed because she’s too enfeebled to physically move the duvet from on top of her with her tiny wizened arms – but it’s close enough.

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