Articles tagged with: apprentice
We’re the best there is, ever was, and ever will be. In fact, we’re the Jesus of business and we’d kill every child ever used on a Huggies or Andrex advert to win, the cuter the deader. That’s right, The Apprentice is back! Just in time too, as we need something to fill in the time between series of Dancing on Ice. If you’ve ever watched this humility free reality show before then basically you’ve seen them all. There’s a bunch of contestants who are dead behind the eyes, all vying for a job at Sir Alan Sugar’s workhouse.
Remember that reality TV show which was a bit like The Apprentice but focused on the contestants’ restaurant-owning acumen rather than the art of arse-kissing Alan Sugar called The Restaurant? Well it is back for a third series.
That’s right, Raymond Blanc is returning to judge nine couples who think that they can run an eatery because they once threw a successful dinner party so they can join him in restaurant running Disneyland. However this time Raymond says, “This year will be survival of the fittest. I am not looking for dreamers, I want to see couples with fresh ideas and a partnership that will flourish under pressure.” He says that every time, though, doesn’t he?
Listen, we don't know how to tell you this - it's as much of a shock to us as it will be to you - but Alan Sugar, he's... he's gone.
Dead? No, of course he's not dead. But Sir Alan Sugar has stepped down as chairman of his company Amstrad after 40 years. That means that all those wonderful jokes about the crappy-looking, pointlessly impractical email telephones he hawked so mercilessly during the first few seasons of The Apprentice are all worthless now. Really, he may as well be dead.
Anyway, even though he's left Amstrad, Sir Alan Sugar's still going to be the terrifying boss figure on The Apprentice. However, there's bound to be some changes - those taking part in next year's Apprentice will now be battling for a prestigious £100k a year job keeping watch for the rozzers while Sir Alan flogs boxes of unsold email phones from the back of a van in an MFI car park.
The great and the suck for this week. Folded: Composer Michael Hunter (Soviet Connection – awesome tune. What next for this Scottish prodigy?) Pising in the Driving Seat (“Having lived life in the fast lane for well over a decade, it's no surprise to me that my back hair's begun to fall outâ€) Cadbury’s ‘Twisted’ (a ...
For all the talk of enterprise and skill-sets, it's no secret that people only watch The Apprentice because all the contestants are awful, awful tosspots.
And this year the level of Apprentice awfulness seems to be higher than ever. So awful, in fact, that the first Apprentice reject Nicholas De Lacy-Brown claims to have received death threats from angry viewers.
Now, while we only have Nicholas De Lacy-Brown's word on this - and the man honestly seems like such a bimbling twat that he'd molest his own granny if it got him some headlines - we can't help but wish it was true. After all, if you're going to send death threats to someone, what better reason is there than because they briefly underestimated the wholesale price of lobster? We hear that that's how Salman Rushdie got his fatwa, too.
Piers Morgan has won the final of NBC's The Celebrity Apprentice.
Or, to put it another way, Piers Morgan went to America looking for success, and America (and by America we mean Donald Trump) looked back at Piers Morgan and replied: "Sure, why not? You're a man with all the qualities required to succeed here. Your wish is our command".
What is wrong with America? It all started off so positively some 40,000 years ago when a bunch of wandering nomads from Asia decided to set up camp. They had a quaint little society going on, and for thousands of years everything was wonderful, but then in 1492 some Italian named Chris landed on the shore and it all turned to shit.
