Posts tagged as:

apple

Ten Songs Paul McCartney Should Consider For Olympic Opening Ceremony

by Mof Gimmers

Paul McCartney is all set to headline the opening ceremony of London 2012 Olympic Games alongside other British music stars who probably aren’t nearly as good. Unless they get Girls Aloud on which would be amazing. The Beatle has told organisers of London 2012 he is “up for” playing at the opener, but which songs [...]

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Paul McCartney To Raise The Beatles From The Dead For The Olympics Opening Ceremony

by Matthew Laidlow

We despair about living in England. Out of every country in the world, we are the only nation that takes pride in former glories and absolutely nothing else. We’ve got nothing to look forward to. Nothing. And when it comes to music, no band takes our regressive national pride to stalker-levels like The Beatles. It’s [...]

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Badvertising: We Don’t Want To Lose Money! Please Buy This Obsolete Junk!

by Michael Park

Windows. You either love them or hate them. Some see them as an invaluable way to let light into an otherwise darkened home while others see them as 3ft x 5ft invasions of their privacy. There are many types of window. Sash, double glazed, casement, transom, going all the way up to the stately bay [...]

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Heather Mills Breaks Her Shoulder And Everyone Privately Agrees That It Is Quite Funny

by Mof Gimmers

Don’t mess with a Beatle. Even the most irritating of Beatles will be favoured over other humans, simply because they’re responsible for those tunes you like. Unbelievably, Heather Mills swiped the crown of most loathed Beatlespouse from Yoko Ono, who seemed to have it in the bag for life. See, while Yoko initially got heat [...]

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Heather Mills Takes All The Credit For The Beatles Appearing on iTunes In A Totally Non-Deluded Way

by Mof Gimmers

Heather Mills is a nice lady isn’t she? She’s an inspiration to anyone who has lost a limb. She’s proven that you don’t need both legs to be chastised and widely loathed. Striking a blow for real, practical equality, her existence has shown that people can be just as nasty to those with a disability [...]

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The Beatles Are On iTunes Now, So You Can Stop Illegally Downloading Fab Four Tracks, Okay?

by Mof Gimmers

Sorry. You’re still probably stifling laughs at the notion of stopping illegally downloading stuff just because iTunes and Apple have brokered a deal with The Beatles. Really, is this big news to anyone at all? Of course, Apple have been hamming it up for the past 24 hours, promising to blow our tiny little minds [...]

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Twilight Hand Model Wants Her Chance To Shine

by Kris Silver

Twilight fans, otherwise known as Twihards or obese pre-pubescent girls who need to go outside once in a while, are a notoriously crazy bunch. But one woman is determined to out crazy all of them by claiming she has some sort of right to be famous due to some arbitrary link with the series. Hand [...]

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WEBTHUMP! Monday 15 December 2008

by Stuart Heritage

9 – A man visits the set of Terminator Salvation and does his best not to point out that it’s really going to suck. A lot – Premiere

8 – Burger porn. It’s OK for work, unless you work for PETA. Then you will DIE – Houstonpress

7 – There’s a fire-breathing robot dog in London. Just, you know, a heads-up – Fanboy

6 – The best virals of the year. The fact that we recognise all of these is proof that we need a new job – Videogum

5 – 10 things some bloke wants Apple to make. Clearly missed off ‘girlfriend’ on purpose – Techradar

4 – Something good from The Onion – Theonion

3 – Scientists can detect dementia by gauging how well they understand sarcasm. Note to 85% of our readers: you all have dementia – News

2 – Nintendo terrifies the young – Gonintendo

1 – Mean, mean quotes. Memorise them all – Menshealth

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Florence Henderson All Boo-Hoo About Missing Pooch

by hecklerspray staff

We just decided that there ought to be an Amber Alert for missing dogs as well as for missing kids. If there was you’d hear that ‘eeern-eeeern-eeern’ during your radio or TV programme and we’d come on and tell you about the formidable tragedy that has befallen the latest celebrity to lose a precious pet.

What? You don’t like that idea? Well, that’s okay because our main goal in life is to please Florence Henderson. And we bet she’ll be super pleased with our idea because the former Mrs. Brady’s poodle has been missing for over a week now.

So, screw the missing kids! Missing pets are where the action is at.

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