apology celebrity - HecklerSpray

George Michael Says Sorry For That Whole ‘Crack Arrest’ Thing

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

When George Michael is caught being a dimwit in public he tends to respond with either an apology or a furious phonecall to Richard & Judy.

And, since Richard & Judy isn’t on the telly any more, that means that George Michael only has one way to respond to his arrest this weekend on suspicion of sitting on a toilet in Hampstead Heath trying to eat a chunk of crack the size of an owl, or whatever it was that he was arrested for.

In short, now that he’s been cautioned for his possession of crack, George Michael has issued an apology to all his fans promising that he’s going to try and overcome his drug problems once and for all. And a good thing too, because all the George Michael fans needed to calm down – otherwise they’d have done a really slapdash job of cutting everyone’s hair today.

Bernie Mac: 1957 – 2008

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Comedian Bernie Mac died on Saturday after complications arose from his pneumonia.

And we’ll be the first to hold our hands up and say: we ‘effed up. Both in printing a story with contradictory information, entitled ‘See – We Told You Bernie Mac Was Going to be Okay’, then going on to delete said story from the site when news of Bernie’s death broke – it was a kneejerk reaction that, in hindsight, probably wasn’t the best of ideas.

In frantically trying to minimise the offence caused by the post, we ended up going against what hecklerspray is all about – so for both of these reasons above we say sorry.

Just as it was not our intention to say anything truly offensive, it was also not our intention to print misinformation concerning Mac’s health. Unfortunately, this is the way it sometimes goes with the Hollywood lark, and relying on the statements of a publicist who is saying the actor was getting better is something we will probably do less of in future, as it’s ended up with us looking like a right bunch of idiots.

Shia LaBeouf Says Bad Word: World Sheds Crocodile Tears

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

Shia LaBeouf has a daft name, that much most will agree on. It also seems he likes to call his friends daft names to prompt them into striking him in the face.

Why ‘The Beef’ would want to be hit in the face is open to speculation – maybe he saw that Tarzan scene in the new Indy flick one too many times and felt he needed to take some small steps towards making amends. Namely, through violence. Though, let’s be honest, it would need more than a simple slap to make up for that abortion of a movie moment.

Sharon Stone Sorry For Pissing Off All Of China

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Hold the phone, word’s coming in that the unthinkable has just happened – brace yourselves, Sharon Stone has done something that isn’t utterly stupid.

This doesn’t happen often, so make the most of it. After saying that the recent Chinese earthquake, which has killed 70,000 people and left another five million homeless, was the result of bad karma for the country’s mistreatment of Tibet, Sharon Stone has managed to finally issue an apology.

Sharon Stone says she’s so sorry for offending the Chinese people with her thoughtless remarks that she’s going to devote herself to helping those affected by the earthquake however she can. Does anyone else get the feeling this is going to end with a patronising feature-length documentary entitled Damage Limitation: Sharon Stone Cries At Some Chinese People And Insincerely Refers To Them As ‘Incredible Little People’? Just us?

Maxim Sorry For That Whole Fake Black Crowes Review Thing

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

When Maxim gave two and a half stars to The Black Crowes' new album Warpaint, suspicions everywhere were raised pretty quickly.

Because, come on, two and a half stars out of five for an album by The Black Crowes? That's a bit bloody generous by anyone's standards.

Anyway, now that The Black Crowes have kicked up an almighty stink about Maxim's fake Warpaint review, the magazine has been forced into issuing a humiliating apology that's bound to harm its readership. After all, how are horny teenage boys expected to wank themselves into a sticky mess over pictures of Megan Fox in a bikini now they know that a blues-oriented hard rock jam-band got given an invented but probably accurate review in a previous issue?

Jessica Simpson All Pissy About Split Story

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You may have read reports about Jessica Simpson getting dumped by Tony Romo – and it doesn't matter if you haven't, because Jessica Simpson's read it for you.

We know. Jessica Simpson can read. Weird.

Anyway, Jessica Simpson isn't pleased about the reports, to the extent that she's getting her lawyers to make OK! magazine apologise for telling lies.

But, hey, Jessica Simpson can read. Who knew?

Montel Williams Sorry For Wanting To Explode Teenagers

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

To have a successful TV talk show you tend to need a niche – Oprah has her self-help, Jerry Springer has his confrontations and Maury has his berserkoid ADD DNA tests – but none of them angrily blow up teenage girls.

That's where Montel Williams steps in, though. Although Montel Williams has plenty of his own niches already – like being the only highly-decorated military talk show host, and the only occasionally-suicidal multiple sclerosis-suffering talk show host – he's now also the only talk show host who, when asked interview questions he doesn't like by teenage newspaper interns, screams "I'm a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up!" at them, before realising he's made a bit of a fool out of himself and apologising, which he's just done. But at least it's a step up from Montel Williams' other niche – being the talk show host who looks most like Ming The Merciless.