Post-apocalypse, or ‘dystopian’ film, has been the stuff of legend since Fritz Lang’s Metropolis, Stanley Kramer’s On the Beach and Franklin J. Schaffner’s Planet of the Apes.

Now that the swine flu has come to do us all in, you’d better take notes in case you’re one of the lucky ones. Oil up your shotgun, put on your leathers and steal yourself a ride, because the world needs a hero.

Gang-infested wastelands are no place for pussies, so here are 10 tales of armageddon to help you crush your enemies when the lights begin to fail. Go for the head when your housemate tries to eat you, save your bullets, get a dog and remember that you’ll survive if your friends call you Snake.

1. MAD MAX 2: THE ROAD WARRIOR (George Miller, 1981)

This is Mel Gibson before he started making chick-flicks. Mad Max 2 is the alpha and omega of the post-apocalypse genre, the story of a wandering survivor who defends a wasteland Australian village and it’s refinery from a biker gang led by Lord Humungus, but he’s only there for the gasoline…

2. THE OMEGA MAN (Boris Sagal, 1971)

Charlton Heston, (NOT Will Smith) is the last man on earth. Charlton Heston, (NOT Will Smith) is a loner who holds back the tide of a psychopathic mutant horde. Charlton Heston (NOT Will Smith) is the only one with the serum, except… he’s the last man on earth.

3. ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (John Carpenter, 1981)

You know that everything’s alright when the city of New York becomes a maximum security prison and the President is a hostage. It’s 1997 and Snake Plissken, played by Kurt Russell, is sent in to clean up the trash. If he doesn’t, a government time-bomb in his body will get him first.

4. 28 DAYS LATER (Danny Boyle, 2002)

When the zombies can run, you’re in a serious pickle. Thanks to animal rights activists, the entire population of London has been infected with rage, an epidemic virus that turns humans into blood-spitting cannibals that can seriously move. Watch a bicycle courier named Jim and a Jamaican girl called Selena battle their way through council estates and the Dartford tunnel to escape the mayhem. Not far off from London of the present day.

5. BLADE RUNNER (Ridley Scott, 1982)

Four rebellious androids have returned to earth after rebelling against their human oppressors in the colonies and Harrison Ford is told to wipe them out. In a sweep of cyber city LA, he must track his ‘replicant’ prey before they find take find and kill their makers – or him.

6. THE MATRIX (Andy & Larry Wachowski, 1999)

Life is just an illusion, and a hacker named Neo can prove it. After living in a computer programme that represents life, he meets Morpheus, Trinity and Cypher who save him from corporate extermination and a false existence. He awakes in a world controlled by artificial intelligence, where humans are reduced to insects. He’s escaped from the Matrix, but he’ll have to go back in, with every weapon known to man at his disposal.

7. 1984 (Michael Radford, 1984)

George Orwell’s prophecy for the future is given motion and society becomes a Soviet nightmare of concrete blocks, sterilisation and herd mentality. 1984 is probably the most accurate prediction of the human condition ever written or filmed.

8. CHILDREN OF MEN (Alfonso Cuarón, 2006)

There’s nothing left to hope for when humanity is firing blanks. No-one can reproduce and the government has imposed a quarantine where foreigners are locked in cages and shipped to a walled city. When an ex-activist finds out that an immigrant holds the future, he goes rogue and they run from an armed group of outcasts who want to use the baby as a political weapon.

9. BRAZIL (Terry Gilliam, 1985)

A surreal journey to a future ruled by bureaucrats and machines. A human spelling error makes a computer select an innocent man for extermination. Sam Lowry, a cowardly office gimp, becomes a knight in shining armour and rebels against the man.

10. LOGAN’S RUN (Michael Anderson, 1976)

Combine sexual deviance with the 23rd Century and you get this little gem. Logan, played by Peter York is a ’sandman’, a cop who kills anyone over the age of 30. When those who won’t comply, called ‘runners’ hide out in The Sanctuary, Logan is ordered to take them out. When he realises he’s living a lie… Logan becomes a target too.

[story by Alex de Moller]

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

The portly star of a string of comedies over the last couple of years has managed to wow us all with his portrayal of a slobbish stoner with a kind heart, a slobbish stoner with a kind heart and a slobbish stoner with a kind heart. Ron Perlman had better watch his back, as his crown is surely about to be stolen.

That’s right: signs are pointing towards Seth Rogen playing a slobbish stoner with a kind heart in his new movie.

He will star alongside another of the Judd Apatow stable, Jay Baruchel, in the recently announced ‘Jay and Seth vs The Apocalypse‘, where the two chaps find themselves the last men on earth, during an invasion of monsters and, well, realising they can’t stand being around each other.

And did we mention they’re going to be slobbish stoners with kind hearts? Just in case you weren’t sure.

The movie started life as an internet short, aired on little-known video sharing site YouTube. There it became popular over this newfangled “internets” thing and caused people to talk the thing up. Through the combined power of words and public interest, the option to make the actual filmic version of the comedy short soon popped its little face up, meaning we get to see yet another film where the slobbish stoner with a kind heart does funny things.

Some may think there’s a cynical pattern to the things Rogen tends to be involved in, they may think that he’s found himself a niche and aims to exploit it to the fullest, cashing in on the legions of real-life slobbish stoners with kind hearts who flock to his pictures.

Others may come to the shocking conclusion that – while the man is clearly involved in some very funny films (hello Superbad) – he just doesn’t have that great an imagination when it comes to characters.

Hecklerspray sits between the two opinions, goading supporters of each into throwing Molotov cocktails at each other and cackling, cackling as they do so. We know he’s something of a comedy king in recent times, but come on – play a different character sunshine.

Watch the original short here.