Tonight’s the last night of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, so it’s bound to be a sad moment for the 12 remaining people who actually watch the sodding thing.

But who’ll win the prize of £50,000 and a lifetime of only being recognised as Wotsit Off Big Brother? Emilia, Nathan, John, Anthony, Jeremy and Amy all remain in the house, and one of them has to win, even though it’d probably be fairer on humanity if they let a massive robot into the house and let it trample them all to death instead. But who’ll win?

Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Emilia, John, Anthony and Amy, with help from Paddy Power…

Emilia – Even though the odds said Latoya was bound to go, we were still a little surprised when Emilia didn’t get evicted from the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house on Wednesday night, purely because of what an infuriating little twit she is.

She has a boyfriend, but she complains about him. She has a brother, but she complains about him. She has a romantic interest in Jeremy, but all she does is bicker with him. There’s no doubt in our mind that Emilia is in the shortlist for Worst Girlfriend Ever because of this attitude.

Or at least she would be if she couldn’t put her arse on her head. Still, that’s not enough to let her win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. Is it? Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 10/1

John – We’ve been backwards and forwards with John since Big Brother Celebrity Hijack began – we thought he should win because the stuff he did with Matt Lucas was quite funny, then we thought he should lose because he’s such an oversensitive, condescending pissbag.

Then we thought he should win again because the only reason that he’s so oversensitive and condescending is because the others are dicks to him. So now we’re not sure. And by the time we go to bed tonight we won’t care. And that time can’t come soon enough. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 5/1

Anthony - We’re so convinced that Anthony will win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack that we’ve already written tomorrow’s ‘Anthony Wins Big Brother’ article. We’re so convinced that Anthony will win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack that we’ve printed up a bunch of ‘Anthony Is A Knockout’ T-shirts that we’ll be selling out the boot of our car first thing tomorrow morning.

We’re so convinced that Anthony will win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack that we’ve registered as many websites with his name in them as we could think of and used them to host disgusting porn. We’re so convinced that Anthony will win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack that we’re not even going to watch the Big Brother final tonight. So it’s a pisser that Anthony’s probably not going to win, then. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 5/2

Amy – In a fair and just world, Amy should probably win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. She’s got strength of mind by the bucketload, she’s able to use reason and sense to talk the other housemates out of flipping out and she’s been remarkably quick to see through all of Big Brother’s dimwitted machinations when the others haven’t.

And now, after weeks of being second-favourite, it looks like Amy’s going to win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack tonight. And since all the teenage girls voting for the show will want Anthony to win, this is quite the achievement. Especially as Amy looks more and more like Dave Gorman with each passing day. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 11/8

Tomorrow: We haven’t got a titting clue, to be honest. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Last night the time came to dispose of yet another Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemate – and it was poor old Latoya who bit the dust.

But forget that silly old tramp, because Big Brother Celebrity Hijack is almost over and the house is still over-run with self-satisfied twerps. So that’s why the housemates all nominated again, right after Latoya left, into each others’ faces. And everyone is up for Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction apart from Anthony and John. And two are going tomorrow. If you want those betting odds you can have them tomorrow.

So meanwhile here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win – for John, Amy and Anthony – with help from Paddy Power…

John – Make no mistake, John’s only in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds top three because of the opening night shenanigans where he won a free pass to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack finals. If that hadn’t have happened, John would be floating around the middle at best because, lordy, is John ever a mardy twit. It doesn’t take much to send John into a spiral of self-pitying naval-gazing (and a naval that size takes a lot of gazing) or, worse, a high-minded lecture full of such overserious advice that we’re surprised that nobody’s smacked him in the mouth for being a condescending git yet. Right now there’s honestly no way that we can see John winning Big Brother Celebrity Hijack. No way at all. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 6/1

Amy – Amy’s come out of nowhere to become Anthony’s only real challenger for the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack crown. She’s probably the most intelligent of the housemates, but not to such an extent that you want to cause her physical harm. Just about all the boys in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house have a tiny crush on Amy, but she’s so steadfastly loyal to her boyfriend that she doesn’t appear to be ready to do anything about it. And she withstood a military interrogation without being all vegetablised like Jack Bauer‘s girlfriend from the last series of 24. Whadda gal! If her top lip didn’t hook up in such an offputting way, Amy would almost be perfect. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 3/1

Anthony – Anthony is the scientific opposite of Amy, mind you, and he’s so far ahead of the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack pack that he could probably stomp on a kitten and still come out the winner. And we think we have a theory why this is – where all the other housemates’ talent seems to rely on their brains one way or another, Anthony’s only talent relies on punching other men until they fall over. And because Anthony can’t demonstrate this talent in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house – although we wish he had while Victor was still a housemate – he’s become the lovely everyman counterpoint to everything else. Or something. Look, all you need to know is that Anthony is going to win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack and there’s nothing you can do about it. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 4/6

Tomorrow: God knows, something or other. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Big Brother Celebrity Hijack has just lined up another four schmucks for eviction – Victor, Jeremy, Emilia and Liam.

Come Friday, one of those poor kids will be out of the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. But who? Bendy girl? Her idiot brother? The monotone racing driver? Liam? Liam, obviously, but we’ll come to that tomorrow.

But who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Nathan, John and Anthony, with help from Paddy Power…

Nathan – Well that’s us told; we’ve been reliably informed that Nathan doesn’t say “bup bup bup” when he’s excited – it’s actually “brap brap brap.” We take it all back – obviously “bup bup bup” would just be ridiculous. Anyway, Nathan’s positioning himself as an early Big Brother Celebrity Hijack favourite with his friendly manner and his stillborn romance with Latoya and flirtation with Amy and stuff, but he’s going to need to be careful if he wants to maintain his position. This is because Nathan is slightly bitter that his American strand of R&B has been decimated by grime in recent years and he’s been forced to go on a tawdry reality TV show to boost his profile. And the more he gripes, the more he starts to sound like Les McQueen from The League Of Gentlemen. And that can’t be a good thing, surely. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 7/2

John – Well, who’d have thought it? Ginger, massively overweight Scottish boy John is a tiny bit sensitive. When Paul Garner from The 11 O’Clock Show burst into the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house on Russell Brand‘s orders last week, poor John seemed to think that whole thing was an elaborate set-up to make him look like a fool and sulked for about three days solid. Now, it’s true that John can coast a little because he’s through to the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack final, but actively trying to alienate the viewers by acting like a toddler with a broken rattle won’t help his cause any. And nor will singing Smooth Operator by Sade because he did that to the other day and christ was it terrible. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 10/3

Anthony – Already it’s looking like Anthony will be the clear winner of this year’s Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, because he’s got something for everyone. The girls love him because he’s a handsome chap, the boys root for him because he punches people for a living (something that all men would secretly like to do), the old folks love him because he’s always very polite to the celebrity hijackers and the kids love him because the side of his head looks like one of those maze games you get in children’s activity books. Plus the government intelligent forces love him because he’s really shit at being interrogated. Honestly, compared to, say, Liam, how could Anthony not win? Having said that, Fred West would probably the favourite compared to Liam. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 2/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Tensions are rising in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house as Jade, Victor and Jeremy all face eviction oblivious to the fact that hardly anyone on the outside world is watching.

We’ll have the eviction betting odds tomorrow, but let’s not forget what’s going on inside the Big Brother house right now. After the double body-blow of that bloke from The 11 O’Clock Show titting about in their garden and John McCririck spending all of yesterday bellowing nonsense at them, it’s a wonder that they all haven’t keeled over in a big messy puddle yet.

Who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Nathan, Anthony and John, with help from Paddy Power…

Anthony – There’s a vast difference between how Anthony presents himself to the world and what he’s actually like. On his entrance into the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house, we knew that a) Anthony was a boxer and b) he had a funny little maze shaved into the side of his head. But in reality Anthony seems fairly down-to-earth, nicely self-deprecating and partially aware that he’s going to be trapped in a house for a month with a bag of bell-ends. Still, it’s early days, and there’s still time for Anthony to wig out, kill Victor by punching him and consign himself to history as Brutal Big Brother Murderer Anthony, so we’ll withhold judgement for now. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 4/1

Nathan – Nathan, of course, has a huge advantage over his Big Brother Celebrity Hijack competitors because, by getting nominated for a MOBO, he’s the only one that anybody’s actually heard of. In fact, when Nathan had to show off his skills recently, many of the other housemates actually sang along to the song he was singing, something that didn’t happen to, say, Calista‘s bimbly nonsense about fannies. Plus, Nathan likes to express happiness by firing an imaginary gun into the air and shouting “Bup bup bup bup bup!” which is the most heartwarming endorsement of gun crime we think we’ve ever seen. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 7/2

John – Now, although these betting odds currently have John as the favourite to win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, we aren’t so certain. Without a doubt John was the biggest star of the opening night – as Matt Lucas was ordering him through an earpiece to claim that he wrote The Sound Of Music and could Irish dance much to his obvious horror – but that might go against him. Although he’s sure to get to the final, that could well be where John falls down. All the earpiece nonsense means that it’ll be harder for him to push his real personality onto the other housemates and the viewers and, since he’s a politician, there’s every chance that his real personality is a little bit knobbish. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 5/2

Tomorrow: Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Jade, Jeremy and Victor. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.