This week’s good stuff and bad.
Folded:
- Phil Mitchell on the crack (EastEnders breaks bad)
- Buy a decanter (guaranteed to make you look 28% more classy. Put cognac in it though, not cold tea)
- Magnum P.I. vs Han Solo (ace! go!)
- gavelexpress.com (‘cos you never know when you might need one – and fast)
- Comic book adap. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is out on the 25th (providing you don’t follow its director Edgar Wright on Twitter [it is all he bloody talks about] you should be sufficiently excited)
Creased:
- Olly Murs has released a bland single (and the video is just as insipid: rented country house, looted modelling agency, trip to Topman, lots and lots of soft lighting)
- Anthea Turner as Madonna (still with the same hair though. Can’t mess with Anthea’s lovely feather hair)
- Bar staff who cannot make cocktails (not paying eight quid to watch you tip Tabasco into a Vodka Martini, love)
- Kids TV these days (no Press Gang, no Byker Grove – it’s all crap)
- Ne-Yo’s at No.1 (and he’s wearing trainers with his suit. So 2006, darling. And stop tilting your trilby, you’re not Michael Jackson - thankfully)
Next time someone tells you that they’re a ‘little bit mad’, don’t greet the news with a cheerful honk and a quip about how you can be “bonkers” yourself sometimes. 
We already know that Hell’s Kitchen 2009 will be rubbish compared to 2008. 
