Annie Leibovitz - HecklerSpray

Hey Laydeeez, Tiger Woods’ Nipples Will See You Know

January 5th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

Just a hunch, but we expect the number of Tiger Woods mistresses to rise exponentially in the next few days.

Because, well, woof. Look at him. Look at Tiger Woods, all topless and buff and photographed by Annie Leibovitz on the cover of Vanity Fair. Why, even we’d do anything to get a piece of that – even if it meant submitting ourselves to gender realignment surgery, inserting ridiculous oversized cannonballs where our boobs should be, punching ourselves in the mouth until our lips ballooned to a comical degree and then coating ourselves in 15 coats of all-weather wood preserve. That does seem to be his type, after all.

Anyway, Tiger Woods is on the front cover of Vanity Fair. That was our point.

Miley Cyrus Sluts It Up Again At The Disney Channel Games Concert

March 25th, 2009 By Paul Sorrenti

Miley Cyrus rocked the stage last night at the Disney Channel Games Concert, sporting another piece of pornographic attire.

As she thanked fans for their support, singing some old hits and some new, she strutted about the stage in skin-tight, virginal-white jeans and top to match, which left very little to the imagination.

The outfit made a clear definition of the shape of her breasts and bottom. One source who attended the gig told hecklerspray:

It was disgusting. I was standing there, wanting to have an innocent boogie to some of the finest pop-music this millennium has had to offer when, all of a sudden, 15-year-old Miley appears, looking beautiful and slightly sexually arousing, and now I feel like a paedophile. This has got to stop. This would never have happened if Al-Qaeda were in control; either get the girl a hijab and let me boogie in unaroused peace, or burn her.

New Miley Cyrus Photos Hark Back To Her Less Slutty Days

March 25th, 2009 By Paul Sorrenti

Miley Cyrus has managed to get through a photo shoot without flashing her jail-bait back to anyone.

Thank God for that. We can once again look at Miley Cyrus without feeling like the spirit of Josef Fritzl has entered into our souls.

Now all we need do is wait a few months until her sixteenth birthday and, abracadabra, we can gawp at her naked tweeny flesh without society judging us as perverts. God bless the American legal-system and its confused morals!

Annie Leibovitz Says Sorry About Miley Cyrus, Sort Of

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There’s an angry mob forming over those ‘topless’ Miley Cyrus pictures in Vanity Fair – but the question is, whose house shall we burn down first?

We can’t burn down Miley Cyrus’ house because she’s already apologised to her fans and blamed all the evil grown-ups for exploiting her – so that just leaves Annie Leibovitz, the woman who took the photos of Miley Cyrus in the first place. Let’s get her!

Except we can’t, because Annie Leibovitz has apologised for the Miley Cyrus photos as well. OK, maybe ‘apologised’ is a strong word – instead Annie Leibovitz has called everyone stupid for not appreciating the beauty of her art, but she phrased it like an apology. An apology that we accept. We think. Oh, we’re so confused. Let’s burn down the camera factories!