Articles tagged with: Anna Nicole Smith
The world's been a sadder place since Anna Nicole Smith died. Well, not sadder - quieter and less booby, mainly. But she's at peace now. The world can remember Anna Nicole Smith the way she wanted - as the giganto-titted clown-faced porno model who married that nearly-dead billionaire once - knowing that her name and reputation won't be dragged up again. Except they are. Anna Nicole Smith's former boyfriend Howard K Stern and two of her doctors have been charged with conspiring to furnish her with drugs. Their sentence if convicted? To be haunted by Anna Nicole's big face and silly voice forever.
Everyone has their own way of mourning the dead, but we can all agree that becoming creepily attached to the deceased's used underwear is perfectly normal.
That's why we're not going to judge Larry Birkhead, even though he's just decided that the best way for Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn to remember her mother is to spend $2,800 on bits of her sexy lingerie at a charity auction.
Of course, Larry Birkhead isn't going to just give Anna Nicole Smith's underwear to Dannielynn right away - he wants to wait until she grows up first. Because if he gives it to her now she'll be far too young to develop any decent long-lasting psychological scars, and where's the fun in that? No, that's why Larry Birkhead is keeping Anna Nicole Smith's lingerie in a safe place for the time being - on his face while he sleeps. Or he isn't. Don't quote us.
For just over 18 months now, the question on everyone's lips has been 'Did Anna Nicole Smith's son commit suicide or die accidentally?'
OK, that wasn't a question that was on anyone's lips, since the sole sum of public knowledge about Daniel Smith is that he sometimes looked quite embarrassed when Anna Nicole Smith dragged him in front of the cameras on her reality TV show.
However, the inquest into Daniel Smith's death has revealed that an accidental drug overdose killed him. Truly Daniel Smith was the Heath Ledger of September 2006, albeit a Heath Ledger who wasn't in any films and had a bit of a slutty mum.
Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn Hope has endured a tragic first year that involved two close family deaths and a messy, drawn-out paternity case.
But none of that matters any more, because Dannielynn is rich! Rich beyond her wildest dreams! Woo hoo!
Dannielynn has just been officially made the sole beneficiary to Anna Nicole Smith's estate. That means that Dannielynn gets to inherit everything that Anna Nicole Smith owned - all her cash, all the potential inheritance from Anna Nicole Smith's marriage to J Howard Marshall, that box of nightmarish clown make-up, the genetic lack of self-esteem - everything.
First off, let us just say that Larry Birkhead is a hack. We don't find it a coincidence that Dannielynn's DNA magically turned out to match his - no not by a long shot.
Most of the world fell for this - not us though. There was never any doubt in our mind that when Freddy wasn't stuffing romance down the throat of thousand year old Zsa Zsa Gabor, he was spraying down Anna Nicole Smith like a beagle in heat.
You don't believe him? Well he's putting out a book to prove it.
A book we said - one with words and what-not.
Anna Nicole Smith - or 'the American Princess Diana' as one person called her before they felt silly and left the room - has been dead for a while.
For a year, in fact - today is the first anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death at the hands on all sorts of different drugs. And, although the anniversary has been marked by a moving tribute by Larry Birkhead, it's also being commemorated by the public as well.
So if you see any confused, slurring women stumbling around tonight, with their faces proudly daubed to make them look like the kind of clown that children see in horror movies, know that it's all in remembrance of Anna Nicole Smith.
That Paris Hilton, she sure knows how to pick them. 'Them' of course, referring to blokes whose sperm seems to either send women a bit mental or completely dead.
Just yesterday we were telling you about Paris Hilton and Britney Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline cosying up in a Las Vegas nightclub, but it seems like Paris wasn't done there, as it's transpired that she then went out the very next night and did exactly the same thing to Larry Birkhead, the last man on Earth to knock Anna Nicole Smith up before she died. We're not sure if chatting to odd, semi-famous men is going to be Paris Hilton's hot new trend for 2008 or not yet, but hopefully it is, because at this rate it won't be long before she's seen out with Trevor, the fictional Scottish wife-beater husband of Little Mo from EastEnders. And that would just be adorable.
