Articles tagged with: animals
Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked than wear fur, but it's important not to confuse Khloe Kardashian with her sister Kim. Because, while Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked than wear fur, Kim Kardashian would rather go naked, set up a video camera, roll around on a bed and boff a man whose tongue looks like it's being remotely-controlled by a man from The Henson Company than wear fur. But still, nice try. Meanwhile, some dogs have just started an 'I'd rather be bludgeoned to death for my fur inside an abandoned Chinese warehouse than see Khloe Kardashian's arse again' campaign. Unrelated, we're sure.
It can't be easy to come up with new names for animals all the time. Thousands of new creatures are uncovered every year, and scientists only have so many dogs and kids to inspire them. So why not delve into the murky world of celebrity? Why not name a new type of predator after your favourite band? Why not christen a new species of maggot after your least favourite? In fact, back in Hecklerspray HQ we have discovered a new type of fungus growing out of one of our unwashed cups. Please free to write in with your suggestions, but at the moment we are leaning towards Sting or Elizabeth Hurley.
Brigitte Bardot is living proof that not only do pretty girls eventually lose their looks, but they also go a bit batty and racist sometimes as well. That's because dear old Brigitte Bardot, the woman who entranced the world with her earthy sensuality all those years ago, has just been convicted for provoking discrimination and racial hatred for the fifth time in 11 years, after she published a letter claiming that Muslims are destroying France because they don't kill sheep properly. Brigitte Bardot, you'll remember, was the star of the 1958 movie And God Created Women, a movie that's soon to be re-released to DVD with the title And God Created One Specific Woman Although He Sort Of Regrets It Every Time She Opens Her Shrapnel-Filled Gob, The Witchy Old Nutter.
How does PETA do it? It's seen more A grade celebrity chuff than Jack Nicholson, Warren Beatty and John Leslie combined.
The latest to join PETA’s hareem is X Factor’s second-freshest regurgitation Leona Lewis, who is going to take off all her clothes, including her bra and pants - thus rendering her naked - and pose for a photograph in a classy way, like how a lady might, or in other words, pose for a photograph in a way that demands a bit too much magic-eye effort from the masturbator to be regarded as porn. According to The Sun, a source close to Leona said:
“She’s hugely proud to have been asked. She’s a strict vegetarian so it’s a cause close to her heart.”
Eva Mendes doesn't love animals as much as a normal person does, you know - Eva Mendes loves animals so much that she's compelled to get her bum out for them quite a lot.
Animal rights group PETA has just revealed Ghost Rider star Eva Mendes as the latest face, spine and bare arse of its 'I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur' campaign, in an effort to show the world how foolish and disgusting people who do wear fur-based clothing are. So - on the basis that Eva Mendes will stop being naked when the inhumane fur trade realises how cruel and irresponsible it's being - we're going to outside, chop up a monkey with a pair of scissors and turn it into a nice pair of furry slacks.
