by Stuart Heritage
Dr Phil never says so on his show, but the best way to solve a problem is to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never existed.
Everyone knows that – it’s the reason why all the hecklerspray staff are such well-rounded, perfectly normal individuals. It’s also the reason why the family of Britney Spears have all got the hump with Dr Phil for speaking out publicly about Britney’s recent psychological snafu. Dr Phil, they say, have broken the Spears’ circle of trust.
And circles of trust are a lot like hymens – once broken they can only be repaired by complicated, expensive and largely unnecessary surgical procedures. We think.
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by Stuart Heritage
Now, the more religious of you might look at Britney Spears and think “there’s a young lady going straight to hell” – but Britney Spears is determined not to go to hell, and she doesn’t care how many priests she has to seduce to avoid it.
Although the whirlpool of custody cases and drug allegations and head-shaving, vagina-baring madness has overtaken Britney Spears’ life at the moment, it’s good to see that Britney hasn’t completely turned her back on what she’s good at – annoying the clergy. One of the booklet photos for Britney Spears’ new album Blackout has caused controversy among Catholics because it shows Britney Spears sitting on a priest’s lap in a short skirt. If anything, though, the Catholics should be pleased by this – the priest in the photo clearly isn’t aroused at all by Britney Spears, and is instead wearing a facial expression halfway between “What’s that smell? Has someone farted?” and “Oh Christ no, not the vagina again!”
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