Angels & Demons - HecklerSpray

Angels & Demons Pope-O-Splodes The Weekend Box Office

May 17th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Honestly Ron Howard, talk about phoning it in. Yes, we all know how successful The Da Vinci Code was, but put some effort in.

Because its sequel Angels & Demons might be the top movie at the weekend box office this week, but have you ever considered what made The Da Vinci Code so popular in the first place? That's right – Tom Hanks? tatty old mullet.

But look at his Angels & Demons haircut, for crying out loud. It's almost normal. Honestly, there had better be a deleted DVD scene where Tom Hanks gives himself a bubble perm, or there?ll be riots.

Roman Diocese Tells ‘Angels And Demons’ To Go To H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

The problem with filming the devil’s movies is that if any of the scenes require the architecture of a church, the owners of said church, along with their serious-minded boards of directors, must pass off on it.

This is where Angels and Demons has recently run into trouble. There is a scene in the book where Tom Hanks & a hot German woman named Elsa (who’d only recently slept with his father) break through a church floor, follow some flowing gasoline through a gathered crowd of rats to an old dead knight with a clue on his shield.

Now they can’t film any of this on location – the Rome Diocese has banned it.

The location slack will reportedly be picked up by two Kingdom Halls and a Mormon stake center. This of course means not a single gargoyle will be shot on camera. It’s bad because they need a gargoyle that comes to life just in time to save Tom Hanks from the exploding jelly truck. It’s really a pinnacle scene.

Thanks a lot, Diocese.

All The Striking Mercifully Delays Da Vinci Code Sequel

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Although the ongoing writers' strike means that you'll probably have to wait another year to see how crappy the new season of 24 is, it's not all bad – the strike has meant that the sequel to The Da Vinci Code has been delayed.

Apparently Angels & Demons, the chronological prequel to last year's clergy-enraging The Da Vinci Code, is the first big-name movie to be hit by the writers' strike, and its release date of Christmas 2008 has now been pushed back to May 2009 at the earliest because the script isn't good enough. But, hey, let's not get glum because we have to wait to see Ron Howard grind out another tedious, tourist-baiting film about how rubbish it is to be a Catholic – in the intervening time, not only can Ron Howard try to make Angels & Demons look vaguely interesting, but Tom Hanks has gained an extra half-year to style his hair into a mullet that's even more preposterous than the one from The Da Vinci Code.