Andy Abraham - HecklerSpray

Everyone Gets All Sad About Being Crap At Eurovision

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

In case you missed the news, the UK is the rubbishest in the world at Eurovision – even rubbisher than Spain’s creepy Elvis-geek.

On Saturday the UK Eurovision entry Andy Abraham came joint last – along with some nondescript Germans and a Polish tooth machine who looks like she bathes in Ronseal – causing Terry Wogan to mumble furiously about political block voting and boycotts and even his own resignation if our crap songs weren’t taken as seriously as mainland Europe’s crap songs in the future.

And now Terry Wogan’s outraged warcry has been backed up by none other than Bruce Forsyth. Old men grumbling about stuff? Who’d have thought?

Eurovision Betting Odds: Andy Abraham, UK

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

So this is it – both Eurovision semi-finals have been and gone and everything’s set for tomorrow’s Eurovision Song Contest final.

If you haven’t placed a Eurovision bet yet, then this is the time to do so. The odds are currently flying around all over the place, so get in quick. It couldn’t be simpler to do. And, as for today, we’ve save the best for last. Well, OK, maybe not the best. We’ve saved the alphabetically final for last. Yes, that’s better.

Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Andy Abraham and the UK, with help from Paddy Power…

Andy Abrahams Chosen To Lose Eurovision For Us This Year

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

In each year's Eurovision Song Contest, there's always one bland-looking middle-aged man singing a hopelessly generic, instantly forgettable disco tune with '16th place' written all over it.

And this year it's us.

Andy Abraham, an X Factor runner-up from 2005, won Eurovision: Your Decision on Saturday night, which means he'll be representing us at the Eurovision Song Contest in May with his song Even If. And that would be fine, except that a) everyone involved in the show obviously wanted Michelle Gayle to win, and b) Andy Abraham's song is a big sack of donkey bollocks. Honestly, not a single homosexual blowjob joke. Who do these people think we are?