Posts tagged as:

Amy Winehouse

WEBTHUMP! Tuesday 10 March 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Sleeping giraffes: adorable or nightmarish? – Image

9 – Colombia realises that Iron Maiden are terrible, has a little riot about it – Colombiareports

8 – A sunglass launch at a department store doubles nicely as a ‘spot the bastard’ contest – Holymoly

7 – Well, hey, turns out that some child prodigies don’t end up killing themselves because of all the pressure their parents put them under after all – Mentalfloss

6 – The stupidest children in the world – I Am Bored

5 – Videogame characters that look like sex offenders! Yay! – Destructoid

4 – Hey America, we’re almost as fat as you now. EAT FASTER! – Independent

3 – Amy Winehouse can’t get into America. For some reason – Popsugar

2 – This is doing our octopus phobia no good. No good at all – YouTube

1 – This is easily, easily better than the actual Watchmen movie…

10 - Sleeping giraffes: adorable or nightmarish? - Image 9 - Colombia realises that Iron Maiden are terrible, has a little riot about it - Colombiareports 8 - A sunglass launch at a department store doubles nicely as a 'spot the bastard' contest - Holymoly 7 - Well, hey, turns out that some child prodigies don't end up killing themselves because of all the pressure their parents put them under after all - Mentalfloss 6 - The stupidest children in the world - I Am Bored 5 - Videogame characters that look like sex offenders! Yay! - Destructoid 4 - Hey America, we're almost as fat as you now. EAT FASTER! - Independent 3 - Amy Winehouse can't get into America. For some reason - Popsugar 2 - This is doing our octopus phobia no good. No good at all - YouTube 1 - This is easily, easily better than the actual Watchmen movie...
0 comments Read more >>>

Now Amy Winehouse Gets Charged With Being A Massive Git Too

by Stuart Heritage

Look, let’s not dilly-dally – this is an Amy Winehouse story, so it’s either going to be about drugs or violence.

3 comments Read more >>>

Amy Winehouse Banned From Spending Her Own Fortune

by Stuart Heritage

Amy Winehouse is a woman in turmoil. Crack-less, Blake-less and now light of ?15,000 worth of property, since being the victim of a burglary while on holiday in St. Lucia.

To add insult to injury, according to reports, Amy Winehouse has been barred from spending her own (remaining) cash, unless she has the explicit permission of her father Mitch or her mum Janis.

This has so many echoes of a post-head-shave Britney Spears. The only saving grace is that our beloved Wino is not a mother and is pretty good at remembering her underwear.

3 comments Read more >>>

Amy Winehouse Blows Cash On Something Stupider Than Drugs

by Stuart Heritage

Amy Winehouse is off the drugs – we know this because we saw a picture of her in a bikini on a beach recently.

And, as everyone knows, drug addicts are allergic to bikinis. Or something. Anyway, the important thing is that Amy Winehouse is off the drugs. And as a normally-functioning member of normal society, Amy Winehouse has decided to concentrate on business. Specifically the business of spending a million quid on trying to make her 12-year-old goddaughter as famous as she is.

Once again, we’d just like to point out that Amy Winehouse is off the drugs. Apparently.

2 comments Read more >>>

Blake Wants To Divorce Amy Winehouse, Who Is Allegedly Making Sweet Love Elsewhere

by Shawn Lindseth

A good marriage is like a delicate recipe – if you pour in too much salt you’re gonna eff up all your pastries. And you know what happens then? The only person who’ll eat ‘em is that one crazy uncle that lost most of his tongue to a series of mouth cancers. If your experience [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Amy Winehouse Goes Topless! Merry Christmas!

by Stuart Heritage

Right, whichever one of you wrote to Santa asking to see what Amy Winehouse’s boobs look like, you’ve got detention for a month.

Thanks to you, someone’s taken a load of photos of Amy Winehouse topless on holiday and spread them across the internet like some sort of obscene dirty protest.

However, the good news is that Amy Winehouse looks less like the emaciated hollow-eyed wreck we’ve all seen in the papers for the last 18 months and more like an actual human. The bad news is that they’re pictures of Amy Winehouse topless. How much worse do you want? Jesus.

6 comments Read more >>>

Let’s All Guess What Amy Winehouse Is In Hospital For Now

by Stuart Heritage

They tried to make Amy Winehouse go to hospital, but she said – well actually she was fairly unresponsive, so they took her to hospital.

That’s right, it’s time for another installment of our four-billion-part series ‘Amy Winehouse Goes To Hospital For Something That’s Probably Got Something To Do With Drugs.’ In this edition, Amy Winehouse goes to hospital for something that’s probably got something to do with drugs.

Apparently Amy Winehouse was admitted to a clinic on Sunday after reacting badly to medication, and she’s been kept there to undergo tests. Sadly, those tests include the ‘Here’s a picture of a fan, do you sincerely thank them for their support or punch them in the face?’ test and the ‘Is it better to look like a human being or a cave drawing of a rampaginglizardman?’ test, so it looks like Amy will remain in hospital for the foreseeable.

They tried to make Amy Winehouse go to hospital, but she said - well actually she was fairly unresponsive, so they took her to hospital. That's right, it's time for another installment of our four-billion-part series 'Amy Winehouse Goes To Hospital For Something That's Probably Got Something To Do With Drugs.' In this edition, Amy Winehouse goes to hospital for something that's probably got something to do with drugs. Apparently Amy Winehouse was admitted to a clinic on Sunday after reacting badly to medication, and she's been kept there to undergo tests. Sadly, those tests include the 'Here's a picture of a fan, do you sincerely thank them for their support or punch them in the face?' test and the 'Is it better to look like a human being or a cave drawing of a rampaginglizardman?' test, so it looks like Amy will remain in hospital for the foreseeable.
3 comments Read more >>>

Amy Winehouse Cheered Up By Release Of BLAAAAAYKE!

by Stuart Heritage

If you’ve been traumatised by all those photos of Amy Winehouse looking ill and close to death and alone recently, fear not.

Because Amy Winehouse isn’t going to be ill and close to death and alone any more – she’s going to be ill and close to death with Blake Fielder-Civil, her hat-wearing berk of a husband who was released from jail yesterday, where he’d been since getting arrested for smashing a man’s face in with his feet and then lying about it.

But don’t expect a happy reunion between Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil just yet – after leaving prison, Blake went directly to rehab alone, where he’ll either be treated for substance abuse or violent shower-room bumming depending on how well his sentence went.

1 comment Read more >>>

Amy Winehouse’s Brain All Effed Up On The Drugs: Claim

by Stuart Heritage

This is shocking news, so brace yourself – there’s a chance that Amy Winehouse’s dad hasn’t been wildly sensational about his daughter’s health for once.

Remember in July, when Amy Winehouse was rushed to hospital, with Mitch Winehouse telling everyone that she’d just had a bad reaction to medicine? Apparently that’s not the case at all. Apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed on drugs again, started convulsing and might have suffered permanent brain damage.

Although the brain damage hasn’t been fully diagnosed yet, there are a number of signs to look out for including a glazed expression, spontaneous muscle spasms, chronic slurring and bewildering hairstyle choices. Holy crap, do you know what this means? Bruce Forsyth has damaged his brain on drugs!

He hasn’t. He really hasn’t. At all. Sorry.

This is shocking news, so brace yourself - there's a chance that Amy Winehouse's dad hasn't been wildly sensational about his daughter's health for once. Remember in July, when Amy Winehouse was rushed to hospital, with Mitch Winehouse telling everyone that she'd just had a bad reaction to medicine? Apparently that's not the case at all. Apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed on drugs again, started convulsing and might have suffered permanent brain damage. Although the brain damage hasn't been fully diagnosed yet, there are a number of signs to look out for including a glazed expression, spontaneous muscle spasms, chronic slurring and bewildering hairstyle choices. Holy crap, do you know what this means? Bruce Forsyth has damaged his brain on drugs! He hasn't. He really hasn't. At all. Sorry.
6 comments Read more >>>

Katy Perry’s Parents Aren’t Impressed, and Homosexuals Hate Her Too

by Ian Dransfield

Katy Perry once kissed a girl and she liked it, if her personal reports are to be believed. Though when we have a confession to make we don’t normally make a literal song and dance about it, we can accept that this is the modern age and those youngsters do things differently. But according to [...]

37 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →