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Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse About To Make a Rare Poor Decision

by Amy Grindhouse

Amy Winehouse has taken a rare wrong turn in her otherwise nondescript life. Thus far, her life has been about merry walks in the park on sunny days and staying as far away as she can from yucky things like crack. There has been a rumour going around the Webernets today that Amy Winehouse might [...]

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Amy Winehouse’s Dad Wants To Give You Free Heroin

by Matthew Laidlow

Hey kids, remember back in school when your teacher told you to study hard and reap the rewards? Well you can pretty much forget that now. Now that we think about it, you can pretty much knock over our desks, pull down our trousers and eat crisp sandwiches for eternity. You see, Amy Winehouse’s dad [...]

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The Greatest Live Acts Of ALL TIME!

by Josh Burt

Some of you will have gone to V this year, or Reading. Or the Glastonbury one. A few of you might even have been to all of them. You probably had a great time. After all, what’s not to love?

You got those middle management guys staring into the middle distance nonchalantly twirling fire on a rope as if that suddenly makes them at one with the earth. You’ve got loud HR workers chewing their own mouths off in the dance tent. You might even have found yourself in the reggae area, desperately attempting to hold down a gush of puke having mixed a brewski with a marijuana joint. Festival season – it’s just brilliant.

But before you pull your dreads apart and return to civilisation with tales of how great Blur were, or how Dizzy Rascal is totally blowing your mind right now, take a deep breath and scroll through our top five list of the greatest live performers ever. Prepare to be amazed…

Some of you will have gone to V this year, or Reading. Or the Glastonbury one. A few of you might even have been to all of them. You probably had a great time. After all, what's not to love? You got those middle management guys staring into the middle distance nonchalantly twirling fire on a rope as if that suddenly makes them at one with the earth. You've got loud HR workers chewing their own mouths off in the dance tent. You might even have found yourself in the reggae area, desperately attempting to hold down a gush of puke having mixed a brewski with a marijuana joint. Festival season - it's just brilliant. But before you pull your dreads apart and return to civilisation with tales of how great Blur were, or how Dizzy Rascal is totally blowing your mind right now, take a deep breath and scroll through our top five list of the greatest live performers ever. Prepare to be amazed...
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Michael Jackson’s Ghost Warned Amy Winehouse Off Drugs. Obviously.

by Ian Dransfield

The day the forces of the undead and the deaddead join together in an unholy union has arrived. Live in fear, peons. For you see, the recently (the other year) died-but-didn’t Amy Winehouse has been haunted by the ghost of the recently (the other month) died-but-did Michael Jackson. But why did Jackson visit her, of [...]

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Amy Winehouse Died In Blake Fielder-Civil’s Arms (There’s a “Nearly” Missing From That Statement)

by Ian Dransfield

In a bold move to try and make people remember who he is, Blake Fielder-Civil has claimed Amy Winehouse died in his arms. The problems here are twofold: one – it’s only nearly died, thus removing most of the impact, and two – who the hell is Blake Fielder-Civil? Answers on a postcard please. Even [...]

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Blake Fielder-Civil Wants Amy Winehouse’s Money For Being An Utter Git

by Stuart Waterman

So, it’s over. Amy Winehouse and Blake Incarcerated Fielder-Civil have been granted a divorce, meaning, hopefully, Amy now has enough gruesome, emotionally tortured experiences to turn into material for a cracking new album. However, that naughty Blake Fielder-Civil is apparently claiming that since his utter swinefulness was what inspired Amy Winehouse’s huge album Back To [...]

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Amy Winehouse Makes A Tit Of Herself At St Lucia Gig

by Matthew Laidlow

Are we really that surprised? Amy Winehouse‘s big comeback performance is like a car crash, really. You don’t want to watch, but something makes you curious enough to keep watching. Video after the jump. Are we really that surprised? Amy Winehouse‘s big comeback performance is like a car crash, really. You don’t want to watch, [...]

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The Most Magnificent Celebrity Makeovers

by Josh Burt

Ever since Plain Jane the Superbrain took off her glasses, smeared some slutty red lipstick around her mouth, and rubbed ice cubes on her stupid nipples, the celebrity makeover has been a must for anyone hoping to increase their fame. For those unaware, the whole Plain Jane thing happened in the Australian drama serial, Neighbours. [...]

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Things That You Must Like, Including The Wire…

by Josh Burt

Look at you. Are those plimsolls? Actual plimsolls? Are they ironic plimsolls? Or just normal plimsolls? Are you poor? Or just pretending? Think before you answer, because should they be anything but ironic, and society – cool society, where people like Pixie Geldof and Henry Holland live – will turn its back on you. It’s a [...]

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WEBTHUMP! Thursday 26 March 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Seven superpowers ruined by science – Cracked

9 – Watch this video. Pause it at the 15 second mark. Try and predict what happens next. You will fail – I Am Bored

8 – Here’s a list of all the reasons why Eminem’s comeback witll fail – Independent

7 – Because it’s been vaguely sunny for about 30 seconds, here’s a recipe for a kickass Strawberry Daiquiri – Domesticsluttery

6 – Looks like Amy Winehouse is officially rubbish now – Welt

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