Articles tagged with: Amy Winehouse
WEBTHUMP! Thursday 26 March 2009
10 - Seven superpowers ruined by science - Cracked 9 - Watch this video. Pause it at the 15 second mark. Try and predict what happens next. You will fail - I Am Bored 8 - Here’s a list of all the reasons why Eminem’s comeback witll fail - Independent 7 - Because it’s been vaguely sunny for about 30 seconds, here’s a recipe for a kickass ...
WEBTHUMP! Tuesday 10 March 2009
10 - Sleeping giraffes: adorable or nightmarish? - Image 9 - Colombia realises that Iron Maiden are terrible, has a little riot about it - Colombiareports 8 - A sunglass launch at a department store doubles nicely as a 'spot the bastard' contest - Holymoly 7 - Well, hey, turns out that some child prodigies don't end up killing themselves because of all the pressure their parents ...
Now Amy Winehouse Gets Charged With Being A Massive Git Too
Look, let's not dilly-dally - this is an Amy Winehouse story, so it's either going to be about drugs or violence. Or, at a push, degenerative skin conditions. But, no, we shouldn't toy with you - after all, stories about Amy Winehouse's degenerative skin conditions are a rare and valuable delicacy, much like scabby truffles. Actually, this is a violence-based Amy Winehouse story - she's been charged with assault after allegedly punching a dancer in the face. Upon hearing this news, Chris Brown is thought to have exclaimed "Punched someone in the face, eh?" before developing a visible erection and politely excusing himself.
Look, let's not dilly-dally - this is an Amy Winehouse story, so it's either going to be about drugs or violence. Or, at a push, degenerative skin conditions. But, no, we shouldn't toy with you - after all, stories about Amy Winehouse's degenerative skin conditions are a rare and valuable delicacy, much like scabby truffles. Actually, this is a violence-based Amy Winehouse story - she's been charged with assault after allegedly punching a dancer in the face. Upon hearing this news, Chris Brown is thought to have exclaimed "Punched someone in the face, eh?" before developing a visible erection and politely excusing himself.
Amy Winehouse Banned From Spending Her Own Fortune
Amy Winehouse is a woman in turmoil. Crack-less, Blake-less and now light of £15,000 worth of property, since being the victim of a burglary while on holiday in St. Lucia. To add insult to injury, according to reports, Amy Winehouse has been barred from spending her own (remaining) cash, unless she has the explicit permission of her father Mitch or her mum Janis. This has so many echoes of a post-head-shave Britney Spears. The only saving grace is that our beloved Wino is not a mother and is pretty good at remembering her underwear.
Amy Winehouse is a woman in turmoil. Crack-less, Blake-less and now light of £15,000 worth of property, since being the victim of a burglary while on holiday in St. Lucia. To add insult to injury, according to reports, Amy Winehouse has been barred from spending her own (remaining) cash, unless she has the explicit permission of her father Mitch or her mum Janis. This has so many echoes of a post-head-shave Britney Spears. The only saving grace is that our beloved Wino is not a mother and is pretty good at remembering her underwear.
Amy Winehouse Blows Cash On Something Stupider Than Drugs
Amy Winehouse is off the drugs - we know this because we saw a picture of her in a bikini on a beach recently. And, as everyone knows, drug addicts are allergic to bikinis. Or something. Anyway, the important thing is that Amy Winehouse is off the drugs. And as a normally-functioning member of normal society, Amy Winehouse has decided to concentrate on business. Specifically the business of spending a million quid on trying to make her 12-year-old goddaughter as famous as she is. Once again, we'd just like to point out that Amy Winehouse is off the drugs. Apparently.
Amy Winehouse is off the drugs - we know this because we saw a picture of her in a bikini on a beach recently. And, as everyone knows, drug addicts are allergic to bikinis. Or something. Anyway, the important thing is that Amy Winehouse is off the drugs. And as a normally-functioning member of normal society, Amy Winehouse has decided to concentrate on business. Specifically the business of spending a million quid on trying to make her 12-year-old goddaughter as famous as she is. Once again, we'd just like to point out that Amy Winehouse is off the drugs. Apparently.
Blake Wants To Divorce Amy Winehouse, Who Is Allegedly Making Sweet Love Elsewhere
A good marriage is like a delicate recipe - if you pour in too much salt you're gonna eff up all your pastries. And you know what happens then? The only person who'll eat 'em is that one crazy uncle that lost most of his tongue to a series of mouth cancers. If your experience is anything like ours, that's one uncle you don't want to invite over too much. He tries to float the conversation when really there's only one thing we want to talk about - the portion of jagged lip that sticks out from under his moustache. Back to marriage though - good ones, even in Hollywood, take work. And that work occasionally involves bopping other men while you're husband is wasting away deep inside a prison. Say, that sounds just like Amy Winehouse's marriage - at least according to the man who's moving to divorce her.
A good marriage is like a delicate recipe - if you pour in too much salt you're gonna eff up all your pastries. And you know what happens then? The only person who'll eat 'em is that one crazy uncle that lost most of his tongue to a series of mouth cancers. If your experience is anything like ours, that's one uncle you don't want to invite over too much. He tries to float the conversation when really there's only one thing we want to talk about - the portion of jagged lip that sticks out from under his moustache. Back to marriage though - good ones, even in Hollywood, take work. And that work occasionally involves bopping other men while you're husband is wasting away deep inside a prison. Say, that sounds just like Amy Winehouse's marriage - at least according to the man who's moving to divorce her.
Amy Winehouse Goes Topless! Merry Christmas!
Right, whichever one of you wrote to Santa asking to see what Amy Winehouse's boobs look like, you've got detention for a month. Thanks to you, someone's taken a load of photos of Amy Winehouse topless on holiday and spread them across the internet like some sort of obscene dirty protest. However, the good news is that Amy Winehouse looks less like the emaciated hollow-eyed wreck we've all seen in the papers for the last 18 months and more like an actual human. The bad news is that they're pictures of Amy Winehouse topless. How much worse do you want? Jesus.
Right, whichever one of you wrote to Santa asking to see what Amy Winehouse's boobs look like, you've got detention for a month. Thanks to you, someone's taken a load of photos of Amy Winehouse topless on holiday and spread them across the internet like some sort of obscene dirty protest. However, the good news is that Amy Winehouse looks less like the emaciated hollow-eyed wreck we've all seen in the papers for the last 18 months and more like an actual human. The bad news is that they're pictures of Amy Winehouse topless. How much worse do you want? Jesus.
Let’s All Guess What Amy Winehouse Is In Hospital For Now
They tried to make Amy Winehouse go to hospital, but she said - well actually she was fairly unresponsive, so they took her to hospital. That's right, it's time for another installment of our four-billion-part series 'Amy Winehouse Goes To Hospital For Something That's Probably Got Something To Do With Drugs.' In this edition, Amy Winehouse goes to hospital for something that's probably got something to do with drugs. Apparently Amy Winehouse was admitted to a clinic on Sunday after reacting badly to medication, and she's been kept there to undergo tests. Sadly, those tests include the 'Here's a picture of a fan, do you sincerely thank them for their support or punch them in the face?' test and the 'Is it better to look like a human being or a cave drawing of a rampaging lizardman?' test, so it looks like Amy will remain in hospital for the foreseeable.
They tried to make Amy Winehouse go to hospital, but she said - well actually she was fairly unresponsive, so they took her to hospital. That's right, it's time for another installment of our four-billion-part series 'Amy Winehouse Goes To Hospital For Something That's Probably Got Something To Do With Drugs.' In this edition, Amy Winehouse goes to hospital for something that's probably got something to do with drugs. Apparently Amy Winehouse was admitted to a clinic on Sunday after reacting badly to medication, and she's been kept there to undergo tests. Sadly, those tests include the 'Here's a picture of a fan, do you sincerely thank them for their support or punch them in the face?' test and the 'Is it better to look like a human being or a cave drawing of a rampaging lizardman?' test, so it looks like Amy will remain in hospital for the foreseeable.
