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Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse Slightly Screechy At Blake’s Court Date

by Stuart Heritage

Ask anyone what they'd least like to happen to them during a court appearance and 'Amy Winehouse turning up late with a weird haircut and loudly screeching her love' would figure pretty high. But that's what Blake Fielder-Civil had to deal with during a court date on Friday about his assault and perverting the course [...]

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Does Blake Want To Divorce Amy Winehouse?

by Stuart Heritage

To the naked eye, Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are the perfect couple, in that while they’re together they can’t go round making slurring pikey babies with anyone else.

But there might be trouble in paradise – according to Amy Winehouse’s father, Blake has a habit of screaming things like “I want a divorce” at Amy Winehouse during arguments and now their marriage is dangerously on the rocks.

Let’s hope they’re just rumours, though, because watching Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil squabble for custody of a tatty trilby, a beehive wig that smells of gutters and enough drugs to down a herd of elephants would be quite traumatic for us.

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Amy Winehouse Pukes Champagne & Starts Crying

by Stuart Heritage

Now that Amy Winehouse has been cleared of perverting the course of justice, it means she’s able to let loose a little bit.

And unlike you, Amy Winehouse’s definition of ‘letting loose’ doesn’t involve a comfortable pair of pyjamas and a DVD box-set of Midsomer Murders. No. For Amy Winehouse to let loose she needs to gulp down however much champagne it takes for her to blast jets of fizzy vomit by the gallon around the Club Class lounge of Gatwick Airport like some sort of unstoppable industrial firehose that stinks of guts.

Because that’s pretty much exactly what she’s been doing.

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Amy Winehouse Probably Not A Justice Pervert After All

by Stuart Heritage

Amy Winehouse may be many things – like the world’s most disturbing semi-professional Marge Simpson impersonator, to name but one – but it looks as if she isn’t a perverter of the justice.

Although Amy Winehouse was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice last month – in connection with her husband’s alleged plan to buy the silence of a barman who he attacked – it now looks like all charges against her will be dropped. That’s wonderful news for Amy Winehouse, who can now put this horrible incident behind her and get on with some of her much-missed hobbies – for instance, Amy sorely needs to catch up on her wandering around London in her bra at midnight looking as if she doesn’t really understand what’s going on. Maybe she’ll even renew her subscription to Wandering Around London In Your Bra At Midnight Looking As If You Don’t Really Understand What’s Going On magazine.

Amy Winehouse may be many things - like the world's most disturbing semi-professional Marge Simpson impersonator, to name but one - but it looks as if she isn't a perverter of the justice. Although Amy Winehouse was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice last month - in connection with her husband's alleged plan to buy the silence of a barman who he attacked - it now looks like all charges against her will be dropped. That's wonderful news for Amy Winehouse, who can now put this horrible incident behind her and get on with some of her much-missed hobbies - for instance, Amy sorely needs to catch up on her wandering around London in her bra at midnight looking as if she doesn't really understand what's going on. Maybe she'll even renew her subscription to Wandering Around London In Your Bra At Midnight Looking As If You Don't Really Understand What's Going On magazine.
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Celebrity Divorce Betting Odds: Madonna, Jordan, Jolie & Winehouse

by Stuart Heritage

Ready for some more chances to make money from unhappy celebrities? Step right up.

We’re starting 2008 as we mean to go on, by crossing our fingers really hard and hoping that just about every celebrity couple in the land gets divorced and spends the rest of their lives wallowing about in abject near-suicidal misery just so we can make £12.50 from a lucky stab at a bet. And when we say ‘we’ we really mean ‘you’. It’s £12.50 that you didn’t have before, at least.

So here are the celebrity divorce betting odds for Jordan and Peter Andre, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar and Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil. Help, as ever, comes from Paddy Power…

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UK Trainwreck Of The Year Awards: THE RESULTS!

by Stuart Heritage

We asked and you responded – here come the long-awaited results of the hecklerspray UK Trainwreck Of The Year survey 2007.

Back in November we asked you to tell us which British celebrities had buggered their lives and reputations up more than anyone with either alcohol, booze, a scant regard for the law or just gigantic, all-encompassing stupidity, and you responded in your thousands. Thank you one and all. But who is the biggest UK Trainwreck Of The Year?

It’s a prestigious title, that’s for sure – similar in status to an Oscar or a sainthood – and the top ten Trainwrecks include Kate Moss, Jade Goody, Heather Mills, Pete Doherty, Charley From Big Brother, Joss Stone, Amy Winehouse, Victoria Beckham and Naomi Campbell – but in what order? Let’s find out…

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Amy Winehouse Arrested For Being A Justice Pervert

by Stuart Heritage

Amy Winehouse has been arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice, either for being caught up in her husband’s barman-attack thing or using her haircut to harbour known criminals – we just don’t know.

Oh, alright, actually we do know. Amy Winehouse was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice yesterday after she was apparently implicated in all this business that’s got her husband Blake Fielder-Civil currently banged up. After allegedly beating up a pub landlord to such an extent that he needed metal plates inserted into his face, Blake Fielder-Civil is then claimed to have offered him £200,000 to shut up and leave the country – and it’s thought that Amy Winehouse was brought into it because, without her wealth, all Blake could offer the landlord was 26p, half a packet of Refreshers and tatty hat that looks like someone’s been wiping their arse on it.

Amy Winehouse has been arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice, either for being caught up in her husband's barman-attack thing or using her haircut to harbour known criminals - we just don't know. Oh, alright, actually we do know. Amy Winehouse was arrested on suspicion of perverting the course of justice yesterday after she was apparently implicated in all this business that's got her husband Blake Fielder-Civil currently banged up. After allegedly beating up a pub landlord to such an extent that he needed metal plates inserted into his face, Blake Fielder-Civil is then claimed to have offered him £200,000 to shut up and leave the country - and it's thought that Amy Winehouse was brought into it because, without her wealth, all Blake could offer the landlord was 26p, half a packet of Refreshers and tatty hat that looks like someone's been wiping their arse on it.
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Amy Winehouse Gets A Load Of Grammy Nominations

by Stuart Heritage

Personally Amy Winehouse has had a terrible 2007, but professionally? Professionally Amy Winehouse is the new Mary J Blige.

The nominations for next year’s Grammy awards have just been announced and, while Kanye West just edges her for the top spot with eight nods, Amy Winehouse has score a very respectable six Grammy nominations. And what must be heartening for Amy Winehouse is that the competition is extraordinarily weak this year, especially in the Most Toothless, Most Bleary, Most Witchlike and Most Supposedly Aggressive Husband categories.

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Amy Winehouse & Pete Doherty Hang Out, Humanity Shudders

by Stuart Heritage

We don’t know about you, but we’re going to invest in a battered old trilby and something to poke our eyes with until they’re bleary because we want a shot at Amy Winehouse too.

Amy Winehouse has moved out of her old Camden house and into a new flat to try and rid herself of all the troubling memories she’s gained over the last few months. However, that might just be because she wants room for all kinds of new troubling memories, because Amy Winehouse has been befriended by none other than Pete Doherty. Rest easy, though – Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse are just platonic friends at the moment. And we’ll know if it ever turns into a physical, sexual relationship because the sky will turn blood-red and a plague of vomiting locusts will descend on North London. Or something.

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Amy Winehouse Cancels Everything Forever, Sort Of

by Stuart Heritage

By all accounts, going to one of Amy Winehouse’s recent concerts has been a bit like funding a pikey’s drug addiction by paying to watch her stare off into the middle distance and make a noise like a chicken choking on a shoelace.

However, it’s not something you’ll be able to again this year – Amy Winehouse has cancelled everything for the rest of the year; something she apparently decided two hours before she was set to play a show in Bournemouth last night. Hopefully Amy Winehouse cancelled the tour to focus on getting healthier and improving her state of mind rather than, say, sitting around in her house talking every drug ever invented. But let’s not hope that Amy Winehouse disappears completely for the rest of the year, otherwise hecklerspray might spend December as a sort of barren wasteland, kept alive only by the possibility that Heather Mills might say “paedophile” in a funny high-pitched voice on GMTV again.

By all accounts, going to one of Amy Winehouse's recent concerts has been a bit like funding a pikey's drug addiction by paying to watch her stare off into the middle distance and make a noise like a chicken choking on a shoelace. However, it's not something you'll be able to again this year - Amy Winehouse has cancelled everything for the rest of the year; something she apparently decided two hours before she was set to play a show in Bournemouth last night. Hopefully Amy Winehouse cancelled the tour to focus on getting healthier and improving her state of mind rather than, say, sitting around in her house talking every drug ever invented. But let's not hope that Amy Winehouse disappears completely for the rest of the year, otherwise hecklerspray might spend December as a sort of barren wasteland, kept alive only by the possibility that Heather Mills might say "paedophile" in a funny high-pitched voice on GMTV again.
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