Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
When Amy Winehouse died, everyone was pretty saddened by the news. A young woman, not yet in her thirties, lost and still with a lot more to give. Shame. Of course, it was a fertile period for making lazy jokes about it on twitter, but the less said about that, the better.
Anyway, Pulp honcho Jarvis Cocker has something to say about it all.
Basically, the national treasure in the making has blamed the tabloids for Amy Winehouse’s untimely death.
Repulsive pus hammock, Pete Doherty, has stopped injecting scabs into his arms just long enough to decide that he’s being haunted by the recently deceased Amy Winehouse. No. Honestly. That’s what he’s saying.
The former Libertine and Babyshambler was, of course, friends with Winehouse when she was alive. They probably shared a needle or ten while drinking Tenants Super while passing out in front of Cash In The Attic.
Anyway, he honestly believes that the late singer is visiting his London home in spectral form. Of course, Pete being the delusional dipstick that he is, he’s run off to Paris to get away from this apparition. Surely ghosts can travel to Paris if they’re able to come from the afterlife? Either way, The Ghost Of Winehouse is doing something brilliant – SLAGGING HIS WRETCHED, DERIVATIVE MUSIC OFF!
Christmas; what a wonderful time of year. Already, town and city centres are awash with twinkling neon as they light up vomit fuelled streets and alleyways. Until Jesus? birthday approaches, we?ll be gorging on advent calendars, cheap sherry and telling carol singers to bugger off.
Everyone experiences the same Christmas traditions. Mum will blame dad for not buying the sinister sounding pigs in blankets and someone will make the ye olde joke about giving the turkey a good stuffing. But what's the one item we can all relate at this time of year? Festive music of course!
Over the years, we've got used to Mariah Carey, Slade and John Lennon getting airtime. Now, it's common practice for artists to release cash-in albums, and with Canadian midget and alleged impregnator Justin Bieber leading the way, we’re destined for a miserable Yule. In the UK, the pop charts have been dominated by X Factor contestants reaching number one, but this year, it mightn?t be so easy for them as Nirvana and Amy Winehouse have depressingly entered the race.
A couple of new Amy Winehouse tracks have emerged online and on the radio (yes, people still listen to the radio unbelievably) and they are both getting a decent reception from fans.
It goes without saying that some people will be complaining about posthumous releases and others will STILL be banging on about her drink and drugs problems like that was ever a reason to not like someone’s music.
Anyway, you can listen to the tracks over the jump if you’re quick. Someone is bound to take them offline soon.
At the moment, ?Sexy? Dr. Conrad Murray is facing an uphill struggle in an American court as he and his team of lawyers attempt to prove he didn't give Michael Jackson enough painkillers to take down a herd of elephants.?The trial is barely getting started and we're beginning to tire of boring experts telling us whether it was possible for Jackson to top himself.
Until surprise witnesses like the Cadburys Caramel Bunny are brought in for a testimony, we're not really bothered about what's happening.
However, in non-Michael Jackson criminal news, a ghoulish evening related to the king of pop is happening soon. That's right, Hallowe’en is fast approaching. How about replicating Jackson?s famous ghostly pale appearance? Or going that extra mile and recreating his legendary wonky nose? You might think we're taking a cheap shot at the Thriller video; but we're not. He came up trumps according to search engine statistics.
Today would have been Amy Winehouse’s 28th birthday, but as you know, she passed away and joined that grotty bedsit in the sky known as the 27 Club.
Before she parted, she recorded a duet with Tony Bennett (ten times the singer Frank Sinatra could ever be, thanks to being able to sing 20 notes, rather than Blue Eyes grand total of two), which proved to be her final recording.
Now, on her birthday, the record has been released and you can have a listen to it over the jump. It’s actually very, very good (which is rubbish for us who would like nothing more than to be nasty about it).
Amy Winehouse hasn’t been dead a month and already, we’re painted into a corner, forced to make light of it all. We kinda wanted to be respectful for a little longer but alas, the world works in such a way that we’re now required to mercilessly tear her death a new one.
See, despite the fact she’s barely cold, there’s plans to turn her into a television show already. Imagine that! A touching portrait of a troubled and talented young woman, broken up with commercials for WKD and toilet roll.
Of course, the family are bang into the idea of making some money on all this ‘famous cadaver’ thing.
Green Day are one of those grotty bands that people love hating. They’re derivative as hell and sell out huge jumbodomes, grinding the gears of everyone who likes supposedly more adventurous bands.
Of course, this is hilarious to your average Green Day devotee. While you mew about innovation and Liking The Real Thing From ’76, they’ve been to a dozen shows, got drunk, danced around and generally had a dumb gas. Who is the loser here, really? And that makes them more irritating, right?
And even though Green Day tend to apply maximum volume to everything, over the years they’ve occasionally shown a softer side (Waa! Boo! Hiss!), which they’ve revealed again with a new tribute song for Amy Winehouse, which you can hear over the jump if you’ve got nothing better to do.
You’d have to have a heart of coal to not care a jot about the passing of Amy Winehouse. That, or you’re indulging in an exercise in nose-pulling by saying cruel things for the sake of it, just to wind everyone up.
What kind of scumbag would do that sort of thing, eh?
Still, while we all scurry around the floor crying and braying, Blake Fielder-Civil is taking a little from column A and a little from column B as he’s more than prepared to show how inconsolably hurt he is by all this, mixed with a need to rinse Winehouse’s cadaver for a few quid. He’s approaching the world of Paul Burrell, the arena of the overwrought vulture.
When any popstar dies, it isn’t unusual for record companies to rush release some previously unheard tracks, and that is exactly what is happening with the late Amy Winehouse who could see at least a dozen unheard tracks hitting the shelves.
A spokesman for her label says that Winehouse had put down the “framework” of around a “dozen” new songs.
But will they be up to scratch compared to Back To Black, the LP that Winehouse always wanted to make and, perhaps, surpassed even her own expectations? We’ve seen with posthumous Michael Jackson releases that, without the artist’s input, these releases can leave the listener wanting. Badly.
