Anand Jon Alexander: Yup, He’s A Rapist Alright It's not news that someone from America's Next Top Model is a rapist - we feel spiritually violated whenever we watch it. But Anand Jon Alexander? Turns out he's an actual rapist. Yesterday afternoon Anand Jon Alexander, who'd previously featured on America's Next Top Model as a fashion designer, was sentenced to between 59 years and life in jail for sexually assaulting seven girls as young as 14. Anand Jon Alexander might get the last laugh, however. Word is that never seeing sunlight, crapping into a metal bucket and being repeatedly stabbed by a paranoid schizophrenic murderer is so Fall 2009. That'll teach us.

With Video: America’s Next Top Cattle Stampede America's Next Top Model is known for two things - delaying the credits for a full sixty minutes even though nothing seems to be happening, and sometimes ripping off that 24 show. Surely that last bit confused you - we're talking about the various bomb configurations Top Model management always forces their contestants to run from. As we understand it, this is an excellent way to tell if they're still photogenic while they think they're going to die. Take their recent bomb scare, for instance - it happened at a casting call, and let us tell you - most of those girls seemed very un-poised.

Tyra Banks To Sack Off America’s Next Top Model?

What would America's Next Top Model be like if a gang of dim-looking skinny idiots didn't screech "Tyra mail!" every 3.2 seconds?

We might soon find out, because word from America's Top Model is that Tyra Banks is getting on so badly with photoshoot coordinator Jay Manuel that she's threatening to quit the show. But is there anyone else who can say "you're still in the running to become America's Next Top Model," with Tyra Banks' utter lack of feeling or expression?

Obviously when we said "we might soon find out," we didn't mean us specifically. We wouldn't be caught dead watching America's Next Top Model. Ahem. 

America’s Next Top Model Of A $500,000 Lawsuit

The life of a fashion model is one filled with the finest linens, using three spoons per meal and luxury supersonic jets whisking them away to the closest reaches of outer space.

Sometimes it also includes seeing cement walls, and being comforted with the knowledge your fist could slide right through it given the chance. Remember when Naomi Campbell did that? Did she do that? Honestly - the walk-enhancing steroids they probably all take have a massive temperamental side effect. That's why models are like that.

Campbell's not the only fashion model sometimes mistaken for hurricane Katrina - the up and comers on America's Next Top Model are apparently destructive too. That's precisely why their landlord is currently suing them.