Articles tagged with: American idol
American Idol Goes Disco, Because It Hates You
Ah, American Idol Disco Night - a tradition right up there with visiting elderly relatives and hereditary bowel disease. Honestly, why? Whose idea is it to keep bringing Disco Night back to American Idol? If it isn't someone who has a financial interest in those cross-channel ferries than run a nightclub service to Calais every month with music by a middle-aged local radio DJ then we'll be surprised. American Idol Disco Night is terrible. So what happened on last night's American Idol? Some people with funny haircuts sang some uninteresting disco songs in a mediocre way. Don't you watch American Idol?
Ah, American Idol Disco Night - a tradition right up there with visiting elderly relatives and hereditary bowel disease. Honestly, why? Whose idea is it to keep bringing Disco Night back to American Idol? If it isn't someone who has a financial interest in those cross-channel ferries than run a nightclub service to Calais every month with music by a middle-aged local radio DJ then we'll be surprised. American Idol Disco Night is terrible. So what happened on last night's American Idol? Some people with funny haircuts sang some uninteresting disco songs in a mediocre way. Don't you watch American Idol?
American Idol: Matt Giraud Is Out! Then In Again! Briefly!
You know when your mum threatens to hit you, and the anticipation is worse than the actual violence? American Idol does. And that's not just because everyone involved in American Idol seems like they were beaten up as children and the abuse has manifested itself in chronic, relentless, insufferable attention-seeking. No, we're talking about the American Idol Judge's Save - the long-threatened but largely toothless gimmick that was finally brought into play last night. And it was lucky old Matt Giraud who was saved by the American Idol judges. This means Matt Giraud will be out next week. Obviously.
You know when your mum threatens to hit you, and the anticipation is worse than the actual violence? American Idol does. And that's not just because everyone involved in American Idol seems like they were beaten up as children and the abuse has manifested itself in chronic, relentless, insufferable attention-seeking. No, we're talking about the American Idol Judge's Save - the long-threatened but largely toothless gimmick that was finally brought into play last night. And it was lucky old Matt Giraud who was saved by the American Idol judges. This means Matt Giraud will be out next week. Obviously.
American Idol: Quentin Tarantino? Guh?
Last night American Idol sang songs from the movies - specifically the movies with dreadful power ballads in them. Honestly American Idol, Songs From The Movies? Be more broad next time, we dare you. Why not have a Songs That Exist night? Or, if you feel that's too constricting for your audience, why not have an Arbitrarily-Chosen Ambient Sounds night? Would you watch Lil Rounds give a heartbreaking performance of Dot Matrix Printer Paper Jam? Because we bloody would. Anyway, because last night's American Idol was about films, the show booked Quentin Tarantino to be the guest mentor. Which was weird.
Last night American Idol sang songs from the movies - specifically the movies with dreadful power ballads in them. Honestly American Idol, Songs From The Movies? Be more broad next time, we dare you. Why not have a Songs That Exist night? Or, if you feel that's too constricting for your audience, why not have an Arbitrarily-Chosen Ambient Sounds night? Would you watch Lil Rounds give a heartbreaking performance of Dot Matrix Printer Paper Jam? Because we bloody would. Anyway, because last night's American Idol was about films, the show booked Quentin Tarantino to be the guest mentor. Which was weird.
Is Simon Cowell Leaving American Idol? Is He? IS HE? Etc
Simon Cowell isn't American, and people only drop to their knees around him to escape the dangle of his pendulous manboobs. However, Simon Cowell is American Idol. You know what American Idol would be without Simon Cowell? It'd be exactly the same as it already is, but without a startlingly smug man with ridiculous teeth going out of his way to offend homosexuals and the mentally ill. So basically it'd be rubbish. But it might happen - Simon Cowell is dropping a number of hints that he'll leave American Idol next year. But not X Factor or Britain's Got Talent. Curses.
Simon Cowell isn't American, and people only drop to their knees around him to escape the dangle of his pendulous manboobs. However, Simon Cowell is American Idol. You know what American Idol would be without Simon Cowell? It'd be exactly the same as it already is, but without a startlingly smug man with ridiculous teeth going out of his way to offend homosexuals and the mentally ill. So basically it'd be rubbish. But it might happen - Simon Cowell is dropping a number of hints that he'll leave American Idol next year. But not X Factor or Britain's Got Talent. Curses.
American Idol: Scott MacIntyre Goes To Badly-Dressed Heaven
Last night American Idol lost one of its biggest personalities, by which we mean one of its stupidest haircuts. We barely knew Scott MacIntyre. Well, we knew that he was legally blind and that, as such, the American Idol producers liked to get their kicks by squeezing him into bright pink trousers and cutting his hair into bizarre curly shrines to golden era David Hasselhoff. And isn't that enough? Oh, and we also knew that Scott MacIntyre couldn't sing very well, otherwise he'd have done better at American Idol. Or maybe America just hates the blind. Yes, that's probably it.
Last night American Idol lost one of its biggest personalities, by which we mean one of its stupidest haircuts. We barely knew Scott MacIntyre. Well, we knew that he was legally blind and that, as such, the American Idol producers liked to get their kicks by squeezing him into bright pink trousers and cutting his hair into bizarre curly shrines to golden era David Hasselhoff. And isn't that enough? Oh, and we also knew that Scott MacIntyre couldn't sing very well, otherwise he'd have done better at American Idol. Or maybe America just hates the blind. Yes, that's probably it.
American Idol: Simon Cowell 4 Adam Lambert IDST
Out of the way blindy, shove over morbid widower - there's really only one person who'll win American Idol now. And that's Adam Lambert. Even though, just a few weeks ago, he basically performed Ring Of Fire in the style of three dial-up modems going off simultaneously in an echo chamber, Adam Lambert has now pulled it together and received the highest accolade available to American Idol contestants. That's right - Paula Abdul tried to put her hands down his pants at the aftershow. Wait, no, that's not it. We meant that Simon Cowell gave Adam Lambert a standing ovation last night.
Out of the way blindy, shove over morbid widower - there's really only one person who'll win American Idol now. And that's Adam Lambert. Even though, just a few weeks ago, he basically performed Ring Of Fire in the style of three dial-up modems going off simultaneously in an echo chamber, Adam Lambert has now pulled it together and received the highest accolade available to American Idol contestants. That's right - Paula Abdul tried to put her hands down his pants at the aftershow. Wait, no, that's not it. We meant that Simon Cowell gave Adam Lambert a standing ovation last night.
Official: American Idol Crushes Joy
First American Idol ditched Alexis Grace, now Megan Joy - thank God there's no contestant called Barry Innocence. Because if there was, he'd be a marked man. Last night Megan Joy became the latest contestant to be eliminated from American Idol. Why? Was it because she refused to conform to the reality TV stereotype? Was it because the American Idol judges couldn't handle her profound level of truth? No, it's because two nights ago Megan Joy did her very best impression of a wounded lamb at an off-key, Rohypnol-informed Bob Marley karaoke party, and it was worse than death. Simple, really.
First American Idol ditched Alexis Grace, now Megan Joy - thank God there's no contestant called Barry Innocence. Because if there was, he'd be a marked man. Last night Megan Joy became the latest contestant to be eliminated from American Idol. Why? Was it because she refused to conform to the reality TV stereotype? Was it because the American Idol judges couldn't handle her profound level of truth? No, it's because two nights ago Megan Joy did her very best impression of a wounded lamb at an off-key, Rohypnol-informed Bob Marley karaoke party, and it was worse than death. Simple, really.
American Idol: It’s ‘Sing Whatever Crap You Like’ Week!
American Idol loves theme nights - like Michael Jackson night, country night and dress the blind kid up funny night. And on last night's show? American Idol loosened things up by letting the contestants sing whatever they wanted. But don't be fooled, because American Idol still had a name for the night - it was the iTunes Top Downloads night. The theme certainly confused some of the American Idol contestants - Adam Lambert performed Play That Funky Music, but Megan Joy covered an audiobook of selected Oscar Wilde short stories and Anoop Desai gave a heartbreaking rendition of the National Rail Enquiries iPhone app.
American Idol loves theme nights - like Michael Jackson night, country night and dress the blind kid up funny night. And on last night's show? American Idol loosened things up by letting the contestants sing whatever they wanted. But don't be fooled, because American Idol still had a name for the night - it was the iTunes Top Downloads night. The theme certainly confused some of the American Idol contestants - Adam Lambert performed Play That Funky Music, but Megan Joy covered an audiobook of selected Oscar Wilde short stories and Anoop Desai gave a heartbreaking rendition of the National Rail Enquiries iPhone app.
