Well well, maybe that American Idol Judge’s Save gimmick wasn’t as hopelessly poo-headed as we all thought.
Just look at Matt Giraud. Everyone figured that, after his save last week, he’d be kicked off American Idol last night. But no. Instead Matt Giraud remains on American Idol, while Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai got booted.
So does this mean that Matt Giraud will win American Idol? No, it means that he’s slightly better at singing than Anoop Desai and Lil Rounds. But we know rape alarms that are better at singing than Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai, so whoopty bloody doo.
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First American Idol ditched Alexis Grace, now Megan Joy – thank God there’s no contestant called Barry Innocence.
Because if there was, he’d be a marked man. Last night Megan Joy became the latest contestant to be eliminated from American Idol. Why? Was it because she refused to conform to the reality TV stereotype? Was it because the American Idol judges couldn’t handle her profound level of truth?
No, it’s because two nights ago Megan Joy did her very best impression of a wounded lamb at an off-key, Rohypnol-informed Bob Marley karaoke party, and it was worse than death. Simple, really.
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Well, that whole ‘predetermined American Idol top four’ thing turned out to be blindingly accurate, didn’t it?
Just look at Alexis Grace. According to reports, Alexis Grace was going to be one of the last four contestants on American Idol. But that probably won’t happen any more, because last night Alexis Grace got voted off American Idol.
This means that Lil Rounds, Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert also aren’t as safe as they think they are. Especially Lambert, because his voice sounds like a malfunctioning pungi and it’s only a matter of time before he’s attacked by a venomous snake.
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First the good news – after months of endless faffing, American Idol has finally started eliminating finalists.
Now for the bad news. Jorge Nuñez was eliminated from American Idol last night. Jasmine Murray also got the boot, but it’s the loss of Jorge Nuñez that stung the most. Not because he’s a good singer, you understand. but because all the cheap-shot monobrow jokes we thought up about him will have to go to waste.
Still, Danny Gokey and Scott MacIntyre are still there, so at least we can still use our cheap-shot blindness and dead wife jokes. Hooray for American Idol!
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