Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Carrie Underwood is not the typical story of an American Idol contestant winning her $1 million and disappearing. She has taken advantage of her fifteen minutes of fame and milked every penny out of it.
Underwood is one of the most successful female artists in the world, selling over 65 million albums of generic pop music. The agents that picked her up after American Idol must be laughing all the way to the bank.
Show business is filled with people who weren’t able to win their season of American Idol, but still managed to have success careers after the show.
While Katherine McPhee hasn’t won an Oscar like Jennifer Hudson, she’s built a solid singing and acting career. In fact, she’s had a lot more post-show success than singer Taylor Hicks, who beat her out to win season five of Idol.
She’s had several post-show hits, although you’d probably be hard-pressed to identify “Over It” or “Had It All” without some help. But her acting work has been much more successful. She’s done several movies, starred in the NBC musical series Smash before being cast as “Paige Dineen” on the CBS drama Scorpion.
Well that was fast.? Kelly Clarkson just got married about .02 seconds ago to Reba McEntire’s step son, Brandon Blackstone, and she?is already?subscribing to emails from Huggies?and deciding whether to put elephant or monkey decals?on the walls.
Just last week she was telling Jay Leno her husband and she were humping like rabbits, but refused to confirm or deny anything.? And as everyone knows, a lack of denial is basically an admittance to the truth.
Oh, and elephants?by the way.?? Always go with elephants.
Just when you thought the dumb-ass feud between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj was over, it comes back full force with Mariah comparing Nicki to the Devil. You’d think since neither of these bitches is on American Idol anymore, they’d be done talking about each other. Well, you thought wrong! Thanks to Mariah’s recent interview with the radio station HOT 97, the crazy diva vs. crazy diva feud you didn’t really care about in the first place continues!
Up until this point in the game, I had been on Team Mariah. I mean, it’s Mariah Fucking Carey. She’s one of the biggest female singers of all time (or maybe the biggest?) She’s sold like a billion records, released so many classic sweet jams, and one of the only artists to surpass her in number one hits is The Beatles!
I think she’s pretty qualified to judge a singing competition! Whereas Nicki Minaj has had like three hits (maybe more, I don’t know shit about Nicki Minaj, which means she can’t touch Queen MC) and has no right to be throwing shade at Mariah. However, Miss Carey’s decision to reignite this stupid feud and not just let it go has basically put me on neutral ground.
Oh Katharine McPhee, don’t you know that if you’re going to stick your tongue down the throat of a man that is not your husband, you should try to hide it a little? If for no other reason than to try and pretend you have a conscience or sense of morality?
Furthermore, if you’re going to cheat on your husband with some dude, wouldn’t it make more sense to go up a level rather than down?? Like, maybe someone who could help your shittastic career and not?the guy partly responsible for creating the crap that was “Smash?”? But I guess you both decided to downgrade.? Good job, guys.
Take a long look at this picture of Mariah Carey. What you’re seeing is a triptych, known through the art world as a collection of three images, often portraying different concepts.
From left to right you have concerned, casual and petrified the camera might sneak a peek at the left side of your face.
When Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler?has a disagreement with?someone and he comes across as the more sensible one, it is worth noting.?In this case, it’s Steven?”Way-out-osphere” Tyler versus Queen Crazy herself, Nicki Minaj.
Basically, what happened is that Steven made a somewhat critical statement?in an interview with?MTV about the panel of judges who replaced Jennifer Lopez and himself on the new?season of American Idol, namely Nicki, Mariah Carey, and Keith Urban. And when Nicki heard Steven’s criticism, she lost her fucking mind.
Jim Carey?s daughter Jane Carrey revealed on American Idol how she's spent the past 24 years living in the lap of luxury, and riding golden ponies, all paid for by daddy?s money. Wait: we mean the exact opposite of that?
?He's definitely not the most extravagant celebrity,? the daughter of rubber-faced comic Jim Carrey told American Idol viewers, adding that she's a single mother whose been waiting tables for the last six years.
Ummm? what? There's a difference between not being ?extravagant? and letting your daughter clean-up other people?s gobbed-out food for minimum wage.
News has reached us here at hecklerspray of a really tragic event that should highlight age issues throughout our society. For too long people have gone about their daily lives, scarcely giving a thought to the older people in our society, people who are too old and frail to care for themselves properly.
As the economic slump continues and people find it just too damned expensive to squeeze out babies like they’re going out of fashion, the world’s population will continue to get older and it is to our older friends and neighbours that we must look to and offer a helping hand in their hour of need.
It’s news like this that really hammers that fact home.
Us here ‘Spray writers have written a lot of words over the years and it is with tired hearts and mangled hands that we begrudgingly bring this to you now.? Scroobius Pip is currently informing us that journalism is redundant through our pathetic laptop speakers, America is still unwittingly executing people, and R.E.M have just split up; don't worry we're not making THAT joke, but it all makes you remember how terribly rubbish the world is.
To bring this point home we considered bringing you new music videos from the likes of Mastadon and Trash Talk in which you could see a really dirty man, some breasts glow, and some skateboarders injure themselves while annoying everyone in California; and you'd only get a little bit of motion sickness.
Yes, there is a massive ?but? here? although, we thought that might not go down to well with all you lovely Cosmo readers.? Instead we're celebrating the fact that you can watch hours of idiocy on ITV 2 tonight and tomorrow while Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell incessantly flirt and pass aggressive notes under the table about whose teeth are whiter.
