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Allison Iraheta

American Idol, Allison Iraheta, Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert, Kris Allen, Ryan SeacrestWe have some breaking news. Apparently America likes speccy idiots who scream like bellends and are rubbish.

It must do. Because on last night’s American Idol Danny Gokey - the man with a face like a remedial-level bespectacled foot who had performed Aerosmith‘s Dream On in the style of a traumatised burns victim – wasn’t eliminated. Instead, Allison Iraheta was told to pack her bags and instantly leave the public consciousness.

Allison Iraheta did OK on American Idol, and she’s young – she’s got the rest of her life to consistently fail to reach the same heights before dying embittered and resigned.

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American Idol, American Idol Rock Night, Danny Gokey, Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen, Adam LambertWhen you think rock, chances are you think Slash. And then when you think Slash, you think silly silly hat.

Anyway, last night was American Idol‘s Rock Night, and Slash was drafted in to be the guest mentor. Did he do his job? In the sense that he made one of the contestants sound like a wounded dinosaur being forced to participate in a violent bout of prison sex, then yes. Slash did his job extraordinarily well.

So which of the American Idol contestants will be eliminated tomorrow? The American Idol judges didn’t force their opinions on anyone. At all. Ahem.

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