We have a very fulfilling love life, and we owe it all to Kanye West.

We got his New Workout Plan video, complete with Kanye West in a purple spandex singlet and sweatband, and crunched our way to dating NBA players and rappers, just like he promised.

Too bad Kanye West’s fiancée didn’t stick to the plan, too, because she got the saddle bags and muffin top thing going on, and he had to dump her flab-o trash.

Or something. There may have been other issues at hand.

Kanye West is single, everyone. He and his fashion designer fiancée, Alexis Phifer, have broken up, and nobody is happier about that than Kanye West. He’s been patiently waiting for himself to be on the market again, because nobody loves Kanye West more than Kanye West. He’s already been spotted around town enjoying romantic dinners alone with himself followed by long walks on the beach and passionate self-embraces

Meanwhile, Kanye West’s ex-fiancee thinks it’s all quite sad. People reports on her thoughts at this touching time

“It’s always sad when things like this end, and we remain friends. I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He’s one of the most talented people I’ve ever met.”

Kanye West and Alexis Phifer began dating in 2002, but their relationship has been off and on and off over the years. The two became engaged in 2006, but Alexis’s growing frustration from constantly finding cut outs of Kanye’s face pasted over her face in all of their pictures reportedly put a strain on the couple’s relationship, not to mention the daily reenactments of the MTV Video Music Awards in his Jesus costume where Alexis hands him his coffee in a mug that reads Best Person Ever At Everything and If You Disagree You Don’t Like Black People Like George Bush and I’m Gonna Throw A Massive Fit. It’s a large mug.

Actual, legitimate reports about the break-up say that Kanye West is too dedicated to his work to give his woman what she needs. People reports that a “pal” of Kanye’s said this about the situation:

“They’d been having problems. Kanye is really focused on his show; he’s putting everything into the show right now. Alexis is a nice girl, but Kanye has been going through a rough time. They hit a rough patch and for now they’ve split.”

The show referred to by said chum of Kanye West’s is, of course, the Glow in the Dark tour which setting takes place on a spaceship named Jane, and Captain Kanye lands on a remote planet and has to rap his way home, or something, so of course he doesn’t have the time and energy to devote to a woman all the way back on earth. Stupid earth chicks.

Hopefully, Kanye West and his fiancee can heal now that the pressure of such a demanding relationship has been relieved. Alexis no longer has the pressure of trying to fit All Hail Ye Kanye West King of the Universe Supreme Being on a designer label for Kanye, and Kanye no longer has to try to figure out how to lure Alexis into plastic surgery to transform her into his exact mirror image. Whew.

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Kanye West’s Fiance ‘Sad’ Over Breakup - People