Happy Halloween! Lots of love, The X Factor. And boy, what a massively inconvenient (or should we say SPOOKY) set of affairs the week offered up for Saturday Night’s show. These devastating (or should we say GHOULSOME!) happenings came in a threefold sequence throughout last week.
1. Kelly Rowland is for some reason angry and in America.
2. Rhythmix have got sued or something and now have had to change their name to LITTLE MIX which isn’t as funny as ‘Micheal Barrymore’s Pool Party’, ‘Team Logic’ or ‘Sophie Habibas’ but we guess it’ll have to do.
3. Some bloke left either The Risk/Nu Vibe and a man from either The Risk/Nu Vibe replaced him. Maybe. We can’t be sure, because we don’t care.
These are the stone cold FACTS, so get use to it – because we not entirely convinced we’re in Kansas anymore like we usually are obviously, but instead in the United Kingdom watching the X Factor despite any cognitive differences instead.
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Britain has always had a fascination with music from the Caribbean. After the Empire Windrush signalled the arrival of a more modern, vibrant and much cooler Britain, it wasn’t long before Britons were bowled over by Lord Kitchener’s calypso and his orchestra.
Kitch’ returned the favour, going so far as to sweeten us all with the wonderful ‘London is the Place for Me’. Lord Beginner swiftly followed with an ode to that most English of sports – cricket – before delivering a damning indictment on racist attitudes with the ace ‘Mix Up Matrimony’.
Along with this new and exotic music, the culture of the Caribbean grew in popularity and cemented further with the birth of the Notting Hill Carnival in ’59 which painted on much needed vibrancy in a Britain still coming down with a dose of the wars.
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Folded:
Creased:
“Howay man pet, vote for my Alex she’s got a geet canny voice and she should definitely win. If you vote for her, I’ll buy you a stottie”.
The words of Alexandra Burke’s X Factor mentor Cheryl Cole, there. Even if you don’t like Alexandra, at least vote for her anyway as it’ll make Cheryl win and hopefully force Dannii Minogue off the show in some sort of girly rage.
Tomorrow is the grand finale of X Factor 2008. Who knows what we’ll get in 2009. Maybe robots will be allowed to enter the competition. Until that happens, we’ll have to contend with this year’s winner. With JLS and Eoghan Quigg already dealt with, let’s have a look at Alexandra Burke…
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