Alex James. Remember when you fancied him? You were cooler than your friends because they all fancied Damon when eyeing up Blur like a sexy meat hamper. Alex James was the dreamboat on bass and oh! How he made you swoon.
Sadly, for The Alex James Fan Club, he’s always been an unbearable peen. We’ve been told first hand by one member of Blur that people have to write his basslines for him and he copies them for live shows.
And of course, these days, he’s an even bigger weapon. He makes cheese and has named some of his children Geronimo, Artemis and Galileo. AND BETTER YET, he likes hanging around with Jeremy Clarkson and David Cameron (see above) AS WELL AS running a festival which has financially crippled a primary school!
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Alex James – the Hugh Grant-haired, bass-playing, cheese-making lovey of Brit Pop superstars Blur (the pretty one who pursed his lips in every video) – has re-sparked rumours of Blur reuniting.
True, this is perhaps the 27th time he personally has sparked the rumours of Blur reuniting.
And, true, it’ll almost certainly be as fruitless as the rest of them. But still, anything to make people realise the Kaiser Chiefs are nothing but an insulting pretender to their throne is worth commenting on.
It’s been five years since they released Think Tank; a kind of ‘half-good, half-wanky’ take on modern culture (a feeling encapsulated perfectly by the usage of a Banksy painting on the front cover – the King of ‘half-good, half-wanky’). Since then the Blur boys have all taken their own unique paths.
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Hecklerspray tried writing a book for children once.
It didn't get that far. Apparently – according to those 'publisher'-types – children just aren't interested in post-New Labour reinterpretations of Milton Friedman's economic theorising. Apparently that's all a bit 'complex' for them, and we'd be much better off with some predictable tract about a cat looking for a balloon. Christ almighty – no wonder they're all so stupid, the pram-dwelling little bastards.
God bless those celebrities, then, eh? God bless 'em. Better than us mere mortals in every way, they've decided to show us how it's done.
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