alcoholism - HecklerSpray

Demi Lovato Gets The World’s Worst Goodbye From X Factor

December 24th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

You could have cut the tension with a rusty spoon on Friday’s X Factor finale, when judge Demi Lovato was treated to a ‘hilarious’ skit all about her drinking problem.

Somebody behind the scenes of The X Factor USA is going to find a lump of coal or much worse in their stocking this year – all because they thought that poking fun at a recovering alcoholic would be ?just the ticket to get everybody in the festive mood. As Demi herself said – at least, before the pesky censors caught up with her – “That’s fucked up”.

Harry Potter Can’t Handle His Drink Because He’s A Massive Wimp

February 3rd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Harry Potter star, Harry Potter (or, Daniel Radcliffe as his mum refers to him when she’s shouting abuse up the stairs) is a wimp of the highest order. Why? Because wickle Dan Dan can’t handle his ale.

And he’s proud to admit it.

Apparently, Radcliffe had a drink problem. The problem was that, every single stinkin’ time he drank some lovely booze, he’d ‘black out’. Get that! He didn’t pass out a few times. He blacked out so frequently it became ‘his thing’. What a wimp. He probably passes out after eating those horrible chocolates with?liqueurs inside them.

Harry Potter Was A Vomiting Alcoholic

July 4th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Daniel Radcliffe seems like a nice chap doesn’t he? That’s despite that fact he got naked once and showed everyone his ghastly, sinewy, gym-honed body which made him look like a pale He-Man figure (didn’t see it? Click here at your peril).

How does someone get the confidence to derobe before the public’s eyes? Easy. Get absolutely hammered ’til your liver starts to hurt.

See, what you didn’t know about the Harry Potter star is that he had a drink-problem. These days, he’s tee-total. The odd thing about that is, is that he’s no more or less interesting than he was when he was hitting the sauce with an impressive regularity.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Tries To Commit Suicide And We Try And Work Out What’s Funny About It

July 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

A man! A man has tried to kill himself! His life has become so unbearably bleak that he stared into the pit of misery and felt compelled to end it, seeing his precious, fragile life as so worthless that it was no longer required to continue, aiming to snuff it out like a flickering flame.

Of course, because the man in question is actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers, we must see this as a titillating and ultimately amusing thing. No sympathy here. No-one wants us to be sympathetic.

And so, hilariously, Rhys Meyers was rushed to hospital by ambulance after his suicide attempt, which we’ll now pass off as a dreadful example of attention seeking. After seeing him act, we can’t possibly believe that he meant it. Have you seen Velvet Goldmine? Exactly.