Articles tagged with: album
The US Prison in Cumberland, MD isn't a perfect institution by any stretch of the imagination. We will say this about it though, of all the prisons we've ever been incarcerated in for three years or more at a time, Cumberland absolutely positively has the best tater tots we've ever tasted.
We were sceptical at first as the plate containing them slid under our half-ton steel door. They were piled in a sloppy pyramid next to green beans and some tough chicken. We pushed them around with our fork for a bit, then stabbed one to bring it up for a sniff. It smelled potato-ish, this was refreshing. Also, we individually spun a dozen of them on our right-pointy finger at the same time. This looked totally awesome. Then we used the tater tots to circumvent the in-house security system and knock out lots of guards until we gained our freedom.
Once outside the perimeters, we touched the sweet sweet tots to our lips and experienced a taste explosion unparallelled by any we'd ever experienced before. When we came to we realised this was because we'd coincidentally been tazed just then, but still. The tots were good, man.
Actually, none of that was true. We've never been to prison, and if we had we're sure we'd be permanently too scared to eat. Our potato review stands though, because you don't need to taste a tot to know it'd be delicious. It's kind of the way Maxim reviews albums apparently - without listening to them at all. It seems they did that to the Black Crowes just recently here.
Timbaland’s quest to single-handedly dumb down the music industry to levels not seen since Rick Astley and Wham were raping the airwaves gathered more momentum today as he announced plans to produce the first album to be released via mobile phone download only. He will produce one song per month for mobile company Verizon during 2008, working with a different artist each time as he travels around the US in the Verizon Mobile Recording Studio Bus, exclusively available to all subscribers of their mobile entertainment service V Cast.
The good news is that Verizon is an American company, meaning the UK may have a Timbaland-free 2008!
Sadly, most of us aren’t going to be rock stars and will only have Guitar Hero as the next best thing.
You won’t be playing for crowds of thousands at Wembley. Instead the biggest crowd you’ll rock out to will be your grandma and her mates as they gather round for their coffee morning whilst you show them you’ve mastered the hard setting whilst blindfolded. No drug-fuelled orgies will commence, no groupies begging you for love sessions in a Travelodge so they can then tell the News Of The World you only have a two-inch penis.
Sadly this is all just a dream, but now the most unlikely of sources is going to offer you some sort of way of fulfilling your rock n roll dreams. Poor Missy Elliott has a problem, you see. She’s gone and recorded her new album and doesn’t know what to call it.
Paula Abdul hasn't released an album since 1995, and the world has changed a lot in the meantime.
For example, duetting with cartoon cats is no longer in fashion, drum sounds no longer have to echo for 30 seconds and also the popularity of the internet means that people can discover how bad your new songs are before they've even paid for them. But that hasn't stopped Paula Abdul from recording a brand new album.
Paula Abdul hasn't had a UK top 20 since 1992. We get the feeling it'll stay that way.
Husband in jail, painful cold turkey crack rehabilitation, funny haircut - things are just about as bad as possible for Amy Winehouse at the moment, right?
Nope. Because Mika wants to get in on Amy's plans for a Christmas album.
Mika seems to be under the impression that an Amy Winehouse Christmas album would be much better with him in it because she's Jewish and he's partly related to someone who's been to Lebanon once, or something. But, hey, anything that exposes Mika to a career-threatening hard drug addiction is fine with us.
In the depths of the countryside, five men collectively known as Radiohead locked themselves away in a big empty house to make their new album In Rainbows.
People everywhere had high expectations for this one so savvy people like us could call it 'the return to OK Computer days' album. Finally in October, an announcement was made that a new album had been created with an immediate release a few days later. Not only would this mean that the traditional three month wait between news of a new album and release would be quashed, but the geeks on the internet wouldn’t have to brave the outside when the big day finally came. And on Monday everyone else got to buy it on CD.
And, according to plan, In Rainbows has shot to number one.
Paolo Nutini has said he wants Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page to produce his next album. Also, Rhydian has said he wants Bob Dylan to produce his first album, and The Krankies are in talks with Keith Richards.
Of course, that last one isn’t true. Not in your wildest dreams is that true. Neither is the Rhydian one. But the Paolo Nutini one is true and on the cards!
There are a number of things you could ask Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson for advice on.
How to endlessly babble on about that time you got shot, for instance. Or how to sell yourself to as many branding opportunities as possible, to the extent where every slightly dim teenager in the world is decked out in a pair of Fiddy-approved trainers and sipping on a can of Official 'Keeping It Real' Misogyny-Flavour Pepsi.
You wouldn't, however, go asking him any questions about the production of music. Unless, that is, you wanted your new album to sound like his: roughly the same as a slowed-down Geoff Boycott mumbling about bitches over a Casio keyboard 'polka' setting.
It seems like no-one told Lindsay Lohan this.
