Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Dammit, A&E!? What, since Duck Dynasty isn’t buttering your bread anymore you’ve decided giving Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy their own reality television show is?a good backup plan?? Did you see McCarthy on The View?
Incase you day isn’t filled with enough mindless fodder, come 2015 you can watch a 10 part docu-series following the less attractive Wahlberg brother deal with his new bride farting on him and blaming his 1991 rat tail for Down Syndrome.
The Duck Dynasty family claim to be lovers of all things hunting and Jesus.? They cover themselves in doe piss so they can kill their dinner, and then pray over the dead carcass before they chow down.? They are also funny in a backwoods, “Gosh we are SO dang country!” way, which is why their show has become so incredibly popular.
And while it isn’t surprising to learn that patriarch, Phil Robertson, isn’t a fan of homosexuality, it’s his incredibly hateful and ignorant interview with GQ magazine that has caused a massive shit storm.? Oh, he also doesn’t really believe that the civil right’s movement needed to happen, because every black guy he encountered picking cotton in the fields with him was super duper thrilled to be a human slave!
Someone’s publicist obviously didn’t do their job right before this interview was printed.
Everyone deserves a second chance, even freakish-looking giants the colour of burning magma who are just a teensy bit racist.
And that's why A&E has decided to start remaking new episodes of Dog The Bounty Hunter, months after the show was pulled off air when Dog The Bounty Hunter started chucking the n-word around in a phone conversation like Christ knows what.
Nobody is exactly sure what convinced A&E to start bringing Dog The Bounty Hunter back, but one possible clue lies in the locked cupboard full of screaming naked A&E executives who couldn't stop scratching at their burning eyes that was discovered last week. The fact that 'Give me my show back, bra' was also written on the cupboard wall in blood may be another indication.
Here's a surprise – Dog The Bounty Hunter might be a teensy bit racist, in that he's been taped furiously demanding that his son break up with his black girlfriend because he doesn't much care for 'niggers'.
Frankly we're stunned. Who'd have thought that a man named after an animal, who makes his living by chasing wanted criminals and then attacking them with bear mace, who dresses like he's going to a monster truck convention on the moon 20 years ago, and who constantly refers to people as 'bra' could even be slightly racist. But it turns out that Dog The Bounty Hunter is racist, and as a result his American broadcaster A&E has decided not to make his show any more. Hopefully Dog The Bounty Hunter isn't too sad about this – because we've heard rumours that he cries tears of red-hot magma, and that would never do.
