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Advertising

Someone Sets Gordon Ramsay Set On Fire – No-one Noticed

by Mof Gimmers

Gordon Ramsay has more nervous tics that One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. He twitches, jiggles and burps ‘Uh?’ while swearing like Tourette’s bus. Why no-one has certified this man mental is quite beyond us. And we’ve not even looked at his weird, weird face. It looks like a cliff face that’s falling into tge [...]

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Badvertising: Plenty More Incest In The Sea [Video]

by Michael Park

Every week, Badvertising takes a look into the murky backwaters of advertising as we call out the idiotic decisions of committees and advertising companies who thrust their intellectual vomit down our throats. This week is slightly different as we’re a little worried. Normally we watch adverts and can identify the fact that the mysterious hand [...]

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Badvertising: Oi! Cathedral City! This Is Not The Way To Sell Cheese!

by Michael Park

Supermarkets and kids are funny ol’ things, aren’t they? As we’ve already pointed out, you can’t make a supermarket seem less like a soulless, fluorescent death camp for creativity by involving children in your advertising- we will catch you. Further to that, if you try to market a product to kids by trying to be [...]

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Badvertising: Do You Even Understand The Concept Of Experimentation?

by Michael Park

We can categorically guarantee without a shadow of a doubt that our readers know exactly what an experiment is. Some of you will have studied science in school and will have been involved in the dissemination of liquid from beaker to conical flask; some of you might even be scientists. If you are then can [...]

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Badvertising: Why Not Buy This Car? It’s Hideous But We Think You’ll Like That.

by Michael Park

Cars. Automobiles. Vehicles. Things with engines. On four wheels (sometimes three) that often get covered in ice during winter and, if you get leather seats, are too hot to sit in during the summer. Yes, our four wheeled friends are so much a part of our everyday life that it takes the release of Disney [...]

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Badvertising: Get Your Bits Out For The Lads!

by Michael Park

Here at hecklerspray we love to get involved in the great big sexism debate that rears its head every time Editor Mof slaps one of the female writers on the arse and tells them that they’re doing a great job “for a bird”. After that, the ensuing three day wildcat strike by our female staff [...]

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Gordon Ramsay Axed As The Horrible Face Of Gordon’s Gin

by Matthew Laidlow

If you were ever faced with the task of cooking wrinkle faced chef Gordon Ramsay a meal, you’d probably find that it wouldn’t be up to standard. Instead of constructive criticism, a fiery Ramsay would slam into the kitchen, take you by the scruff of the neck and threaten to hack your eyes out with [...]

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Badvertising: Let’s Talk About Genitals

by Michael Park

Here in the hecklerspray bedsit, we’re often told off for using inappropriate words to describe the girls’ genitalia. In fact, there was a time that Matthew Laidlow had to spend three weeks hooked up to a catheter after asking Joanna Bolouri if he could cop a feel of her “pouch”. After that, Editor Mof came up [...]

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Badvertising: Let’s Raise Age Awareness By Humiliating The Elderly

by Michael Park

It’s not easy to be nasty professionally. For a start, people automatically assume that you have no heart and that if you do, it’s a blackened, flaking husk that makes people unable to spend time in the same room as you. Admittedly for the most part, that’s true. Sometimes, you also have to poke fun [...]

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Badvertising: Carlsberg & The Feats Of Human Endeavour

by Michael Park

Beer. Lager. Come on folks. We all love a nice cool, refreshing lager after a hard day sitting in the bedsit, angrily hacking words into our typewriters but lager advertising is notorious for playing up to ‘laddy’ stereotypes or generally misrepresenting the product as being anything more than yellow piss-water that no-one in their right [...]

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