Adele - HecklerSpray

Stuff that Happened at the Grammys 2017

February 13th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So the Grammys happened last night and no one gave less of a shit than me. Well, except for maybe Frank Ocean. As I said in my previous post, I haven’t really cared much about the Grammys since 1999, but as a highly professional celebrity blogger, I’m going to write about them anyway.

For the most part, the Grammys weren’t SUPER political, but that being said, politics were obviously present. That’s just the world we’re going to live in for a while; awards shows are going to be angry and political. However, aside from Katy Perry’s political performance of her shitty new song, other stuff happened at the Grammys! Here’s a rundown.

Tonight’s MTV VMAs Could Be Huge

August 28th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

So, as you might have been able to tell from my recent posts, I’m kind of jazzed about tonight’s MTV Video Music Awards. This is not a common thing. From the years 1995 – 2004, I was definitely always jazzed for them, but then I kind of got over it. In fact, the last time I was pumped for a VMAs was 2007 when Britney Spears gave her HORRIFIC ‘comeback’ performance.

I have not been excited for a VMAs until now. After 9 years of so-so shit, where the most interesting thing to happen on the VMAs stage was a drunk Kanye West snatching the mic from Taylor Swift, tonight’s VMAs has the potential to be legendary. Let me explain why.

Aretha Franklin Is My Homegirl

November 11th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

If you weren’t already aware who the queen of all things mighty and bitchy is, then hike up your fancy yoga pants and prepare to bow down to her Highness, Aretha Franklin.?? Ms. Franklin has once again shown that her ego and her shade throwing skills are just as large as her voice (and love for fried chicken).

Aretha managed to shut down multiple bitches in one fell swoop in one of the most glorious interviews I have seen in a long time.? And you know no one will have anything to say back because one does not contradict the Queen.

Badass J.Lo Shields Adele From A Crazy Asshole at the Grammys

February 13th, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Thank God for J.Lo and that ferocious thigh! A Grammy-crasher nearly spoiled Sunday night’s festivities,?but?luckily Jennifer was on the case and he barely made it onto the stage before she cast him to dust.

The drama happened early in the telecast when J. Lo and Pitbull announced Adele as the winner of Best Solo Pop Performance. As Adele made her way on stage to collect her award, this asshole pops up?out of nowhere, threatening to destroy the world.

Adele is Not Grossly Overweight, Just Pregnant All Along

March 23rd, 2013 By Chris Chambers

I always thought Adele was just really fat, but it turns out that she was pregnant!?This past weekend the singer gave?birth to a bouncing baby boy, her first child with lumberjack boyfriend, Simon Konecki.

Adele was first officially linked to baby daddy Konecki, co-founder of Life bottled water and its associated charity Drop4Drop, in January of this year … so they'really got to work quickly. The portly pair have been hounded with marriage rumors, which Adele has denied, most likely because Konecki is extremely unattractive.

Adele Is Officially Better Than Michael Jackson

February 29th, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

Some people can't bear to move on and will stubbornly live in the past forever.?One group of people who can't escape the past are those loveable creatures that we call Michael Jackson fans.

How we chortle at their antics as they listen to their battered tape copies of his albums and trip over when they attempt to emulate his legendary moon walk. Heed our warning mind; anger these beasts and they?ll lash out violently.

Since the king of pop’s sudden death, nobody has officially taken his title. Lady Gaga has all sorts of gimmicks like Jackson had, such as that infamous meat dress. And to her advantage, they're all planned, unlike that Pepsi commercial. You can do all sorts in terms of marketing a product, but overall, that counts for nothing if you’re yesterday’s news as it is revealed that Adele is now officially better than Michael Jackson.

Hecklerspray Brit Awards 2012: The Critics Choice Venn Diagram Award

February 21st, 2012 By Sophie Hall

One of the more notable, or should we say biggest bloody deals of life ever of tonight?s Brits, is the British Critics? Choice Awards. Otherwise who the hell else are we going to fawn over for the next 8-10 months?

The pop equivalent of Bambi?s surrogate mother and all round Robin Williams Pixar voice impersonator Lana Del Rey?

This is literally the only way we will ever be able to properly understand music and engage in credibility, now that according to Twitter – ‘Coldplayers run the world’ (we personally don't think they could run a tap without bursting into tears because they found a metaphor in the water) and Joe McElderry has gone classical. It's difficult being us.

Adele To Take 5 Years Off And Give Our Poor, Poor Ears A Well Deserved Rest

February 15th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Look at you all. Your ears have imploded and you’ve been crying. For ages. It’s all Adele’s fault. Her shrieking, caterwauling racket has left the world in a state of submission, ready to give up. However, there’s good news!

But this good news doesn’t come easy. Your ears are about to get some blessed relief, but your stomach may throw-up in the process.

Adele gave an interview over the weekend, just before she bagged?six Grammy awards, and stated that she’s going to take a long time off from music because she likes having sex. ALL THE TIME.

Karl Lagerfeld Kinda Has A Point When He Says Adele Is A Bit Fat

February 7th, 2012 By Lady Robotnik

Karl Lagerfeld has the feminists and fat chicks bunching their panties in disgust over his latest outburst.

Remember. This is an outburst from an old man who works in the fashion industry.

We don't know what magic mirror Lagerfeld is looking into, but despite looking like an anorexic-shell-less-tortoise/panda hybrid, Lagerfeld takes it upon himself to be the aesthetic judge of the universe. And this time, he’s decided to pass judgement on Adele. You can see where this is going can’t you?

Adele?s New Boyfriend Quite Possibly Married To Someone Else

January 19th, 2012 By hecklerspray staff

The Queen of New Boring has come under attack for having the temerity to get all pelvic and grunty with a man who might not be entirely divorced from his estranged wife.

As if it wasn?t enough that she can't get through a day without a million more people buying her album, she's had to take to her blog (which is a step up from taking to Twitter, at least) to tell everyone that

a) he's not married and b) it's none of their goddamn business.