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Adam lambert

American Idol: Quentin Tarantino? Guh?

by Stuart Heritage

Last night American Idol sang songs from the movies – specifically the movies with dreadful power ballads in them.

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American Idol: Scott MacIntyre Goes To Badly-Dressed Heaven

by Stuart Heritage

Last night American Idol lost one of its biggest personalities, by which we mean one of its stupidest haircuts.

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American Idol: Simon Cowell 4 Adam Lambert IDST

by Stuart Heritage

Out of the way blindy, shove over morbid widower – there’s really only one person who’ll win American Idol now.

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American Idol: It’s ‘Sing Whatever Crap You Like’ Week!

by Stuart Heritage

American Idol loves theme nights – like Michael Jackson night, country night and dress the blind kid up funny night.

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American Idol: Farewell, Rubbish Ginger Fatty

by Stuart Heritage

Guess what we just heard – Adam Lambert isn’t the only contestant on American Idol. Isn’t that bizarre?

Bizarre but apparently true. One of the other American Idol contestants is a man called something like Michael Sarver. Or rather, he was a contestant – last night Michael Sarver was booted off American Idol, either for being bad at singing or for being ginger and a bit fat.

Ah, Michael Sarver. We hardly knew ye. True, that was a conscious decision on our part based on your basic inability to sing songs and your weird appearance – but take what you can get, fatty.

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American Idol: Adam Lambert Disappoints Us All

by Stuart Heritage

Oh American Idol, shame on you – you know as well as anyone that people only watch you for one reason.

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American Idol: Stuffed Full Of Country

by Stuart Heritage

Now we all know who the American Idol top four will be, there’s no need to watch for the next two months.

Unless, you know, you’re a masochist. But credit where credit’s due, American Idol is determined to make the long, flat ride to the inevitable Danny Gokey victory interesting. Wait, did we just say ‘interesting’? Because we actually meant ‘so flesh-meltingly horrific that if any of us survive it with all of our senses intact it’ll be a great big bloody miracle’.

Last night was Country Night on American Idol. And, yes, it was as awful as it sounds.

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Look! Here’s Your American Idol Top 13 Hate-Targets!

by Stuart Heritage

Tonight, the top 13 American Idol contestants take part in the first of this year’s soul-destroying live finals.

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