We’re just the same as you. Since he won American Idol, we’ve been eagerly anticipating Adam Lambert’s debut album too.

Hang on, what do you mean Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol? And what do you mean Adam Lambert recorded his debut album On With The Show four years ago for a small independent record label and it’s about to be released against his wishes?

Wow, we really didn’t know as much about Adam Lambert as we thought we did. Still, at least we can all agree on one thing about Adam Lambert – he must love his wife very much.

Now that American Idol is a distant memory and he can no longer play off his sexual ambiguity for attention, everyone is keen to know if Adam Lambert can still be a success. And, let’s be honest, the odds are against him.

True, Queen want Adam Lambert to be their new singer, but Queen are rubbish. True, Adam Lambert has a small army of slavish internet followers, but so did David After Dentist and he never really broke out to be the multi-platinum recording artist that everyone expected. And, true, Adam Lambert made it to the final of American Idol, but American Idol has been going on for so long now that we’re pretty sure that we could GHD an emo goat and it’d probably be able to make the final as well.

So really there’s only one conclusive, failsafe way to determine whether or not Adam Lambert can still be considered as a success – his debut album will have to enter the charts at number one and stay there for a meaningful amount of time, like a month or a year or until the end of time or something.

You might think that Adam Lambert would find that easy, since he’s currently recording an album with the cutting edge of the music industry like Lady GaGa‘s writers and producers. But that’s actually for his second album. Adam Lambert’s debut album was recorded four years ago for a very small record label, is entitled On With The Show and is about to get released any day now in a transparently opportunistic effort to cash in on his post-Idol fame. Here’s Want, the lead single from it…

Well, OK, we take all of our sarcasm back. Want is actually a staggeringly good song. Lyrically it’s incredibly profound – we don’t think that the sentiment of ‘love is all you need’ has ever been expressed in a pop song before – and musically Adam Lambert is bang-on as well, since we read the other day that the next big pop trend will be for songs that sound exactly like Robbie Williams B-sides from 1998. Adam Lambert sure must be thrilled with the release of On With The Show:

“The work I did back then in no way reflects the music I am currently in the studio working on. Back in 2005 when I was a struggling artist, I was hired as a studio singer to lend my vocals to tracks written by someone else. I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks, so I jumped at the opportunity… I can’t wait for people to hear what my music really sounds like.”

Oh. Well if Adam Lambert doesn’t want us to buy On With The Show then we’re not going to buy it. In fact, we respect Adam Lambert’s opinion so much that we’re never going to buy any of his music ever again. And if any of his music is played on the radio, we’ll switch the radio off. And every time we say his name out loud, we’ll pull a funny face. We’re sure everyone can agree that that’s the most amount of respect that anyone could possibly be expected to give Adam Lambert.

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