Actor - HecklerSpray

Mark Wahlberg Could’ve Stopped 9/11 From Happening Like Some Stupid Looking Superman

January 19th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Thanks to half of America turning its internet black yesterday, it was an excellent time to bury bad news. Likewise, it was an awful time because celebrities were saying stupid things and we missed them. Such as? How about Mark Wahlberg saying that he could’ve single-handedly stopped 9/11 from happening?

Today, Marky Mark has apologised about saying something stupid about America’s sacred cow, which they intend to guilt-trip everyone about until they finally blow the Earth to pieces.

So what did he say?

Ryan Gosling? Ryan Reynolds? What’s The Difference?

December 22nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hey perverts! Get ready to say “Oooh. I wouldn’t say that to him. I’d…” and then trail off into your own dirty thoughts. Okay? Let’s go shall we! Ryan Gosling is fed up with people confusing him for fellow actor Ryan Reynolds.

Do you know the difference?

Seems a lot of people don’t. Once you’ve met someone called Ryan, you’ve met ’em all haven’t you? And besides, no Ryan ever amounted to much did they? It’s a stupid, boring name. Anyway, what does Gosling think about being confused for Mr R. Reynolds of Hollywood, Dumbsville?

Gerard Depardieu Takes A Leak On A Plane Again, This Time, Dressed Like Obelix

September 6th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, Gerard Depardieu! It doesn’t really matter what you do with your career now because you’ll always be remembered as that drunk French guy who had a wazz in the aisle of an Air France plane.

WAIT!

What’s this? He’s at it again? This time, dressed as Obelix from Asterix? Really? How brilliant. Can we keep him?

Mark Wahlberg To Set Up Burger Chain

September 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Once there was a time, when Mark Wahlberg was just some dumbass in jockey shorts. Then, somehow, we went and became a proper actor before giving Justin Bieber a wedgie. Whaddaguy! Right?

Well, now it seems that Marky Mark and his brothers are opening up a burger joint! How great is that?

Well, it ain’t so great because he’s forgotten one fundamental thing – we’re not idiots.

Ryan Gosling Is A Big Attention Seeker While Getting Involved In Stupid Brawls [Video]

August 22nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Div-hunk, Ryan Gosling has been nominated for an Academy Award for some indie rubbish, he plays guitar like every stinkin’ idiot does… but he’s a part-time crime fighter. That’s right! And he’s done it in a hideous vest as well!

The simple faced object of middle-class women’s desire decided to get involved in some fight in the middle of a New York intersection because he knew damn well half of twitter would flood their gussets with undignified lust.

And we’ve got a video of it all, including an example of two screaming, yearning women who can’t remember his name!

Gerard Depardieu Wasn’t Drunk When He Emptied His Gaul Bladder On A Plane, Which Makes It Alright Then

August 19th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, Gerard Depardieu. He’s a daft old drunk isn’t he? When he emptied his bladder in the aisle of an Air France plane, we all chuckled about the effects of alcoholism in mental actors, but alas, we were all hugely wrong!

See, Gerard wasn’t drunk at all! He really wants to point out that he was as sober as can be.

Which surely, makes the whole ‘getting your chap out before a load of passengers and then taking a steaming leak all over the carpet’ thing considerably worse, right? Is he saying that being drunk is more shameful than wazzing in public?

Gerard Depardieu Gets His Lad Out On A Plane And Unloads It In The Aisle

August 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Gerard Depardieu is the world’s most unlikely sex symbol, what with him having a face like a bear ravaged buttock that belongs to a scaly vagrant. Yet, the ladies love him! Is it because he’s a suave, refined man?

Well it can’t be that, given that this week, the French actor decided to have a massive piss in the aisle of an Air France plane.

No seriously.

Elizabeth Taylor Is So Rude That She Arrived At Her Own Funeral Late

March 25th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Cuh! When we’re rude to people, everyone berates us and says we’re shallow and lonely. While that may be true, we don’t see people having a go at Elizabeth Taylor who treated marriage like bubblegum, hung around with Michael Jackson and, even in death, kept everyone waiting at her funeral.

We suppose that everyone thinks that this is all very funny, prompting people to roll their eyes and hoot in unison about how wacky she was!

It’s not funny. It’s downright rude. People are trying to grieve properly and she’s there, even in ghost form, pissing people around.

Elizabeth Taylor Dies Looking Like A Sad Clown

March 23rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

One of the most gigantic movie stars of all-time, Elizabeth Taylor, has died in Los Angeles at the age of 79 despite looking much, much older. Taylor lived her whole life in the spotlight, of course, looking like she’d been shot with Homer Simpson’s make-up gun in later years.

Of course, we’re rather sad that the Oscar-winning actress has finally shuffled off her mortal coil after a long history of bad health and heart problems, but like all sneering pricks, we’re prone to making crass jokes instead of confronting our grief about someone we’ve never met.

It goes without saying that the movie buffs will be saddened by this news and fondly remember some of her finer roles, leaving the huge public outpourings of grief to the Michael Jackson fans. You just watch.

We Have No Idea Who Renee Olstead Is But We’ve Seen Her Naked And Putting Things Inside Herself

March 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

We have no idea who Renee Olstead is. Literally no trace of an idea at all. However, we have seen her boobs and seen photos of her sticking things inside her front bum. And her boobs again. We figure she’s about to become a lot more famous for boobular reasons.

Now, her Wikipedia page says that she’s an actress and a singer. A child actor no less, which means we can snort with laughter as she becomes the latest ‘shamed child actor’ to add to our list. The list, of course, consists mainly of those that have shown their genitals to the world in a series of leaked photos.

Apparently, she was in something called Still Standing as well as something called The Secret Life of the American Teenager. She also apparently gives good jazz. But we’re too busy looking at her boobs to care. Chances are, you’d like to look at the breasts of someone you haven’t heard of too.