Articles tagged with: 9/11
Remember a few weeks ago when we told you that early-nineties hasbeen rapper Vanilla Ice was arrested for hitting his wife? Well, we forgot to tell you one very important thing - the 911 call that his wife made was mental. Seriously. And we're only using the word mental here because no words exist that can accurately describe how flat-out weird the call is. From what we can work out, Vanilla Ice hit his wife because she bought a bed for herself and then, Vanilla Ice starts threatening to kill himself with a motorbike. But, hey, you can hear that for yourself after the jump.
The world today is rife with conspiracy theories like never before. There are people out there who believe 9/11 was an inside job. There are people who believe the moon landing was staged. There are people who think Jay-Z is profiting from the African slave trade. Lily Allen’s Dad believes Princess Diana was murdered and one guy hecklerspray knows thinks badgers are actually midgets crawling around the woods in costume. And now Alicia Keys says Gangsta Rap was created by the government and the media in an effort to get influential black people to kill each other, so they don’t have to.
If you'd starred in as many woefully identical sitcoms as Heather Locklear, suicide would probably come as a sweet release.
But Heather Locklear is made of sterner stuff than you. Heather Locklear absolutely didn't try and kill herself last weekend, even though a 911 operative, the Los Angeles Fire Department, two ambulances and Heather Locklear's own psychiatrist thought she had.
But don't worry, because it was all a false alarm. Heather Locklear wasn't really trying to commit suicide, which means that we can all go back to forgetting she ever even existed anyway again.
When the world woke up last week, everyone thought the same things. A) The weekend's finished and we have to go to work. B) Who's that chick who won the Oscar for best actress for a film we’ve never heard of before?
Who was Marion Cotillard, where had she come from and what the hell was La Vie en Rose about? And what did it mean? For God’s sake why wasn’t it done in English? Surely the producers didn’t expect the majority of the world to watch a film they couldn’t understand. God damn those crazy French.
As an Oscar winner, we’d expect Marion Cotillard's career to go from strength to strength. If not winning more Oscars, then definitely starting up random charities or collecting third world children like Happy Meal toys. But instead of riding high on the success and mulling over lucrative film offers, Marion's gone and ballsed it up. Big style.
