50 shades of grey - HecklerSpray

LOL of the Week: Kendall Jenner to be named Fashion Icon of the Decade

August 31st, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

If you spit out your morning coffee laughing at the title of this blog, you’re not alone. At this year’s New York Fashion Week, Kendall fucking Jenner is going to be named Fashion Icon of the Decade, and we’re all wondering how much Kris Jenner paid to make this shit happen.

While I do think that Kendall’s fashion sense has evolved into something pretty good over the last 3-4 years, I would literally NEVER call her iconic unless I was referring to her Pepsi commercial. I have no idea what is happening in the world right now, but this shit is just a total mess.

Charlie Hunnam Just Saved His Career

October 14th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

It looks like 50 Shades of Grey filmmakers are going to have to find another dude willing to beat a chick with his anal beads, because former lead Charlie Hunnam has dropped out of the movie.? How Hunnam could walk away from what promises to be?Showgirls for a new generation is just so (not) shocking, but Ian Somerhalder is gleefully prancing around his home in his leather chaps waiting for his second chance phone call.

Realistically what probably happened is that Hunnam realized if he ever wants any sort of legitimate acting career after Sons of Anarchy eventually kills him off, that doing this movie would kill any chance of that.? Dakota Johnson already knows that she has no shot at being a real actress, so she’s solidly holding on to her role.

Maybe the Next Surgery Farrah Abraham Should Get is a Brain Implant

September 4th, 2013 By Megan Leitch

Oh, Farrah Abraham. ?We’ve all had our moments where we say things that are just stupid, but when the smartest thing to ever come out of your mouth is James Deen’s man juice, there is something seriously wrong with you.?

Teen Mom‘s resident 3rd rate Jenna Jameson has blessed the world with more quote worthy gems in a recent interview with?Miami New Times. ?When asked by the reporter if she considered herself a feminist, Abraham cheerfully replied that she was! ?She loves dresses, and skirts, and flowers, and kittens, and pink… So, of course she is feminine! ?But since, you know, feminine was NOT the word used by the interviewer, he repeated himself to make sure Abraham just didn’t mishear him. ?She didn’t.

Jennifer Lawrence In Bondage: Got Your Attention Now?

April 27th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Oscar winner and all-round lovable lunatic Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly being eyed up?by producers to play Anastasia Steele in the 50 Shades of Grey movie. If all goes to plan, then the guy in charge of casting will never have to buy his own drink again.?

This could be a smart move from producers – when the hordes of randy middle-aged housewives descend on cinemas like harpies to drool over Alex Pettyfer (who has been confirmed as Christian, the male lead), the promise of seeing 2013’s Most Desirable Woman being tied up and spanked might be enough to drag their husbands along too. If they could somehow find a way to involve One Direction for the tween market, they’ve pretty much created a film for all the family. Ball-gags aside, that is.

Mila Kunis May Be In 50 Shades Of Grey And That’s Alright With Me

January 30th, 2013 By Chris Starr

Guys, I have great news! Not since, well, ever has someone been able to present such absolutely, uneqivocally awesome news to the world. It’s like how I imagine the disciples who managed to announce Jesus’ arrival felt, except ten times better because this has a modicum of truth to it.

Guys, Mila Kunis might be in 50 Shades of Grey.

50 Shades Of Grey Is Going To Be a Bizarre Movie

December 11th, 2012 By Daniel Dockery

This has been a good year for film and literature, especially when it comes to giving material to dumb guys making hacky jokes about their girlfriends. Film had Magic Mike, or, as biologists called it, penetration. Books had the massive rise in popularity for the 50 Shades of Grey series.?

The 50 Shades books were originally released in 2011, but America was still lingering on insults about vampires to give it the proper reception that it deserved. However, the popularity of the trilogy can only grow, because the first book is being turned into a movie. I won't say that this is a bad idea, and my keyboard?s spell check won't let me call it a ?good idea? either. I will say that it is definitely a bizarre one.

Soulless Kristen Stewart is actually capable of loving two men

August 1st, 2012 By Chris Starr

Who knew that this face was capable of loving any one man, never mind two? Kristen Stewart is a massive whore, it seems, enraging Twihards everywhere (including Youtube user Nuttymadam, who is, well, a nutty madam). Not content with sleeping with quiffed strong, silent dreamboat Robert Pattinson, Stewart decided she needed to also get friendly with director Rupert Sanders.

Of course, no good comes from cheating. But there’s a small glimmer of hope to be found in the sordid situation. It turns out that Kristen Stewart isn’t in fact a soulless, smile-free dummy whose job it is to brood and look depressed on celluloid and red carpets. She’s someone capable of romantic feelings – she has so many feelings that she couldn’t just share them with one person! (Which is in itself a little scuzzy, but frankly we didn’t know she had it in her so it’s impressive nonetheless.)