Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is Cool uncle and embarrassing aunt. Folded: The Chase from Midnight Express – Club Version (very Berlin. Then again you could remix Giorgio Moroder's alarm clock and make a decent track) Films on the telly (why are they always more fun than putting on a DVD?) Be miserable (doctor’s orders) Donut Drake in Uncharted 2 (such a laugh climbing on the wrecked train ...

50 Cent To Produce Awful Films As Well As Star In Them When it comes to starring in movies that are essentially about 50 Cent, 50 Cent is probably in the top 20 or so. But 50 Cent is tired of only starring in awful, third-rate movies that only idiots like. So he's decided to branch out and start producing awful, third-rate movies that only idiots like as well. Think that's as bad as it gets? Don't - because 50 Cent's first movie is going to star Nicolas Cage. Kanye West, if you're reading this, please start producing movies too. That way they can be more successful than 50 Cent's and he can retire from that as well. Thanks.

50 Cent Gets To Hang Around With Oddly-Named Son More 50 Cent was brought up on the streets, and therefore he's not a man you want to mess with - he's gangsta, he knows how to hold a grudge. Cross 50 Cent and you'll know. You're entire family will know it. Everyone you've ever cared for will know it. Unless, you know, it's a dispute that can be peacefully mediated in a courtroom within the space of about five minutes, because if that's the case 50 Cent will probably just do that instead. And that's just what 50 Cent did yesterday, to settle a custody agreement over visitation rights to his 12-year-old son Marquise. In the agreement 50 Cent will spend more time with Marquise, and that's important. Not because a boy of Marquise's age needs a strong father figure, though - but because now 50 Cent has even more time to relentlessly apologise for deciding to name him something as crap as Marquise.

50 Cent Loves His Son And Doesn’t Take Drugs, The Big Girl Everyone knows what they want from 50 Cent - and that's gritty, hardcore tales of violent life on the streets. However, don't be surprised if 50 Cent's next CD is a concept album about the art of making quiches and other assorted fancy continental pastry dishes, because 50 Cent, so help us god, has turned soft. How soft? Get this - 50 Cent wanted to take his little boy on vacation so much that he took, and passed, a court-ordered drug test. Not taking drugs? Caring for his own children? Really, 50 Cent, what kind of role model do you call yourself? Quickly, go and mug a pensioner or shoot a policeman before it's too late. Yeeuch.

50 Cent Mad at Taco Bell for Thinking He’s Worth More Than 50 Cents

Now, don’t be intimidated by our extensive knowledge of economics, but we kinda know a lot about it. Like we know that with America’s struggling economy, companies should be careful with their money.

But, Taco Bell threw the gorditas to the wind when they asked rapper 50 Cent to change his name to 79, 89, or 99 Cent to match their value menu. Not only did Taco Bell grossly overestimated the worth of rapper 50 Cent, but they stood to lose as much as 49 cents.

What’s that? 50 Cent not only shot the offer down, but is throwing a hissy-fit about it that puts an 8 year-old girl to shame? Whew! Lucky break, Taco Bell. Lucky break.

Recording: Rapper Young Buck Cries On Tape The image of a popular hip hop star is generally of a 'hard' guy spittin' lyrics, wearing gorgeous golden jewelry, carrying a gun in one hand and a stolen baby in the other. A far cry from the one we're about to tell you. Now we'll be the first to admit we don't keep up on the day to day soap opera that is rap music. Last we heard Young MC had an evil twin or something, Andre 3000 came back from the dead and Erica Kane was about to cut an album. Also the fellow known as Young Buck got kicked out of 50 Cent's thingy called G-Unit. We've got a link to a wonderful place on the next page wherein an audio recording of a phone conversation Young Buck had with 50 begging for reentry into the group can be heard. The guy even cries in it.

50 Cent Still To Call Smoke-Damaged Son After House Fire Typical - first 50 Cent releases an album and it's upstaged by Kanye West's album, and now his house fire's been upstaged by the Universal Studios fire. Not that a little thing like the Back To The Future clocktower burning down will stop people from being curious about the 50 Cent house fire, though - especially as it came right in the middle of an ugly public feud between 50 Cent and his ex-girlfriend Shaniqua Tompkins, who was living in the house at the time. And now the mystery has got a little deeper, because Tompkins is claiming that 50 Cent hasn't bothered to call their 10-year-old son Marquise after the fire, even though he was treated for smoke inhalation. But you know what they say - better to have no contact at all than to record a mawkish vom-inducing Eminem-style 'Daddy loves you' track about it.

Someone Burns Down 50 Cent’s House, Probably Just a hunch, but we imagine that 50 Cent's next album will be called Switch Off Your Electrical Appliances At Night Or Suffer Smoke Inhalation Trying. That's because 50 Cent's house has just spectacularly and completely burnt to the ground. But don't worry - 50 Cent is fine. The house that burnt down wasn't the house he lives in, just the house that his ex-girlfriend and their 10-year-old son live in. Phew! Panic over. They're both OK as well, by the way - but that hasn't stopped a fireman calling the blaze 'suspicious', not least because 50 Cent has been trying to evict his ex-girlfriend and son from the property for a while now. Still, if we know anything about the hip-hop community, it's that it's full of exemplary citizens who like nothing more than to cooperate with potentially criminal investigations by the authorities.