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You know Alec Baldwin right? No. That’s Stephen Baldwin who appeared on Celebrity Big Brother, punching Jesus down people’s throats and generally being a sinisterly odd article. No. Alec is the funny one. The nice one. The one who gets thrown off planes for playing word games.
What?
That’s right! Alec Baldwin’s addiction to a wordy smartphone game got him in trouble on an American Airlines plane. He just really wanted to play the word ‘UNITED’ apparently.
Hurray! Another utterly pointless awards ceremony is rolling into our collective consciousness to make us take sides between things that can actually be enjoyed simultaneously!
Of course, the real winners in all of this are America’s coke-dealers and the Emmy Awards is timed perfectly so that the dope pushers will have a really bumper Christmas this year. Plastic surgeons are also stocking up on septum repair kits too. How amazingly heartwarming.
The Emmys, as you definitely know, celebrate the best in American television and will be held on Sunday, September 18th… shown on Fox who everyone hates at the moment. And the big guns making vague headlines are Modern Family (*shrug*) and the utter dross that is The Big Bang Theory. In drama, the wonderful trio of Mad Men, Game of Thrones, and The Good Wife bag several nominations. Let us peer at the rest of the nominations over the jump.
Like movie stars and music moguls, television people like nothing better than an evening of expensive outfits, impressive golden statuettes changing hands, and beautiful faces all sitting around telling one another just how brilliant they all are at their jobs. It’s only a shame that such wonderful nights out don’t stretch into normal jobs.
We shall only ever dream of a day when undervalued stone masons and building site skivvies get to breeze around outside hotels shouting details of their suits/blouses to hysterical reporters. What a great day that would be. Read More >>>
Everyone loves the Emmys. They’re just like The Oscars, only duller and so full of Ryan Seacrest that even his own mother sort of gets bored of looking at him by the end.
The Emmys took place last night, and they were a special Emmys, too – the 60th anniversary of the ceremony. So which megawatt uberstar got to mark this prestigious moment? The fanny-faced bloke from Deal Or No Deal, that’s who. And Ryan Seacrest. Naturally.
But, hey, who won at the Emmys last night? Well, Mad Men picked up the most prestigious award! And 30 Rock scooped several others! And blah! And snore! And honk! And fleurgh!
Remember when Jennifer Aniston was famous for acting rather than limply flouncing between a million doomed relationships like a big soggy dullard?
Us neither, actually. But, hey, good news! Jennifer Aniston’s somehow managed to stop being such a needy whining pissbag for long enough to get a proper acting job on the television! It’s been reported that Aniston’s signed up to film a guest spot on the next series of 30 Rock.
That’s great news, because personally we’d missed seeing Jennifer Aniston on TV. It’s been getting kind of boring only watching her on the 1,300 episodes of Friends broadcast by E4 every single day. In fact, there was a couple of seconds yesterday where Jennifer Aniston’s pointy face wasn’t being directly shoved down our throats, so this 30 Rock guest spot will fill this void nicely. Thanks, Jennifer Aniston! You’re the greatest!
December 28, and an admission. The reason why we aren't here throwing celebrity news at you like bananas in a monkey factory is because the whole hecklerspray family has gone camping.
It isn't going well. Laidlow, hammered on alcopops, has thrown up in Lindseth's sleeping bag and made him cry. Laverty tripped over the guy rope and dropped all our eggs on a cowpat. C J Davies keeps walking into a tree head-first again and again, convinced he'll be able to move it with the power of his mind and nobody has seen Annette since she went off to film that witch's hut. Only Stuart Heritage has managed to rise above this pathetic scene. Really, he's like some sort of hero or something.
Anyway, want to know what our favourite TV shows of the year were? Good, they're all here…
