Before we delve head-on in to 2009 and bring you such weird and wonderful sounds as Mexican two-step, we thought we’d chew over some of the artists we covered in 2008.

You know, so they don’t get all dusty in our archives.

This feature tries to bring a mix of completely brand new and unheard acts alongside those who need a bit of a push to get your attention. If we wanted to harp on about someone who’s released 50 CDRs and played one gig in Crewe, we’d write for some trendy sort of fanzine with a readership of twelve. Try to contain your excitement as we give our top ten list of last year.

10 – Rolo Tomoassi – We like them because they’re loud, full of energy and have a tiny frontwoman who has a voice that will knock you over. For someone so small, she shouldn’t be that loud. One to get the aggression out to.

9 – Cassetteboy – Not so much music, but cut and paste merchants who’ll take any piece of audio and tweak it until it’s unrecognisable. Just do a search for Cassetteboy V Harry Potter 2 on YouTube to see what we mean. Quality stuff.

8 – Khonnor – Aka Grandma, I, Cactus and Gaza Faggot has been producing moody ambient landscape music alongside the occasional spliced up electronic sound. The majority of his work can be downloaded for free at various places with one album fetching critical acclaim when it was released a few years ago.

7 – Unicorn Kid – Most chiptune sounds like someone has ripped an old Gameboy cartridge, delayed the sound and put a few effects on it. Unicorn Kid puts a bit more effort and construction into his work to get all the kids jumping like loons.

6 – Death By Panda – Already harped on about plenty around these parts. All the music produced on this project can be downloaded for free! Fragile electronics clash with post rock grooves for a closely-guarded musical secret.

5 – Lykke Li – Unlike our female singers who always seem to go on about drugs or when they were on drugs, Sweden’s Lykke Li came along and delivered a belting album full of poptastic hits. Just as good as Winehouse.

4 – The Lovely Eggs – They are lovely but aren’t eggs. Sorry to spoil the illusion. Upbeat and merry indie with catchy choruses make this duo a winner in our book. Limited releases so far, but hopefully more will follow.

3 – Florence And The Machines – We wrote all about Florence before she was tipped by the people at the BBC to be one of 2009 big hitters. Upbeat folk clashing with indie will make her a recognised act this year.

2 – Dananananaykroyd – Impossible to spell (and say if you’re a bit slow) but, hey, it’s all about the music! This Glasgow act have somehow got themselves a gig supporting a band worse than them this February! Aren’t the Kaiser Chiefs a silly bunch?

1 – Tim And Sam’s Tim And The Sam Band With Tim And Sam – More folk again here, but don’t worry, we ain’t gone totally hippy yet. Instrumental bliss can be found here alongside free teabags if you buy their records! iTunes doesn’t give you that!

What a week for Britney Spears – a new album, an X Factor appearance and an uncomfortably sobby documentary.

And now this. For what appears to be the billionth year on the trot, Britney Spears has been named as the most popular Yahoo search term of the year. Well, technically it was a combination of the search terms ‘Is Britney Spears dead yet?’, ‘Has Britney Spears died?’ ‘Seriously, is Britney Spears dead or not?’ and ‘Britney Speerz is funy LOL’ but none of those scan as well.

What’s most impressive is that Britney Spears managed to beat Barack Obama to the number one spot, which has to smart given his accomplishments this year. But it’s totally his fault – Obama had plenty of chances to put on a pink wig, wander aimlessly through a car park and babble in a British accent in the grip of a full-blown psychiatric meltdown, but instead he chose to become president-elect of America, the big idiot.

No matter how spectacularly she manages to destroy every conceivable aspect of her personal and professional life each year, the first week of December always provides a little bit of a respite for Britney Spears.

Not only is it Britney Spears’ birthday week, which at least allows her to chalk off another year lost to the ravages of alarming mental illness, but it’s also the week when Yahoo announces that more people search for her on the internet than anything else.

We’ve been here before, of course – Britney Spears was the top Yahoo search term in the year when she divorced the father of her children, the year when she shaved her hair and went completely batshit mental and a year prior to those when Britney seemed comparatively normal.

So let’s be fair, being popular on the internet is all Britney Spears has got and, by God, does she ever fight hard to hang onto her crown. Remaining the top internet search term in 2008 was always going to be tricky for Britney – not only had Barack Obama made history by becoming the first ever black president of America, but Britney’s arsehole parents wouldn’t even let her go outside and drive a car through an orphanage or punch cattle square in the face or whatever it is the voices in her head tell her to do – but by christ, she’s done it. According to AP:

Spears bested World Wrestling Entertainment, Barack Obama, Miley Cyrus and the online game “RuneScape” as the five most-searched terms of 2008, the Web portal and search company announced Monday, a day before the singer released her new album “Circus.” Jessica Alba, the anime series “Naruto,” Lindsay Lohan, Angelina Jolie and “American Idol” rounded out the top 10 list.

So how did Britney Spears do it? Well, the fact that Womanizer made it to number one probably helped, as did the heartwarming news that Britney was about to go on her first full tour in several years. And, oh, what was that last thing? We had it a moment ago, but… oh yes, that’s it – the way that Britney Spears had a full-on juddering meltdown that ended up with her being literally locked in a padded room because she couldn’t even remember how to chew food properly. That might have also been a reason, in retrospect.

So congratulations to Britney Spears for being the top internet search term for the fourth consecutive year. And good luck for 2009 because, short of hijacking a bus and driving it off a bridge, we genuinely don’t know how you’re going to out-crazy 2008.

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So after last week’s yawn fest, when Dale and Stuart fought out the most boring eviction ever, let’s hope some spice returns to the Big Brother house.

It was a bold move by Big Brother yesterday, who asked for the housemates to fill a jar with hair. And it was an even bolder Mikey who decided that he would go skinhead to get the task motoring.

Darnell joined him and now, here we are, with two rather strange-looking slapheads in the house, waiting for the nominations today.

We now have ten housemates left. So let’s take a look at who’s in the running for the title in 2008, with betting odds, as ever, provided by Paddy Power.

Mikey – Everyone’s favourite, Mikey is a strong bet for the title this year. The freshly-mown skinhead has been consistently number one in Paddy Power‘s stakes and this is unlikely to change soon. The sympathy goes a long way it seems, for the blind Scot. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel ­– Rex‘s bullying may be cringe-worthy to watch, but it seems Rachel is benefiting from it in a strange way. While the chef keeps plugging away, the homely Welsh maid is climbing the odds table. Next thing you know she’ll be a winner, leaving Rex‘s face a picture to behold. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Kat – Come on Kat, time to change your game plan. There must be a nasty piece of work in there somewhere. Let’s see it, you’re dropping down the charts and something needs to be done. From Ewok to Gremlin. That’d do it. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

Darnell – Scalped like Mikey, Darnell only has eyes for Sara, and their flirting is profiting both of them. A love story is always good for the participants, as long as they want it to be. And Darnell, of course, gets the ‘I’ve never had a girlfriend’ sympathy vibe, too. Big Brother betting odds – 4-1

Stuart – Last week he was Mr Duller-than-Dull and he still survived. Thing is, the poor blighter wants to go. Even a love story wouldn’t liven this housemate up. Shame on him for even bothering to go to the auditions. Big Brother betting odds – 8-1

Lisa – Mummy of the house Lisa is playing a stealthy game at the moment. She shrunk into the shadows when her fella Mario was kicked out – and now just pops up making herself look good occasionally. An outside bet perhaps. Big Brother betting odds – 12-1

Sara – Aussie flirt Sara‘s been playing with Darnell. But even that won’t better her chances. Destined for the boot, I’m afraid. Maybe even this week. Big Brother betting odds – 25-1

Rex – He’s a bully and a prick. Nuff said. Big Brother betting odds – 28-1

Mohamed – I notice he didn’t shave his locks off for the good of the house. Mo, Mo, Mo – you have no chance of winning. Why not just walk, eh? Big Brother betting odds – 50-1

Nicole – Dump Rex you blond bint. Yawn. Next… Big Brother betting odds – 100-1

Tomorrow: will the odds have swung in favour of any other housemate? Will Nicole make herself the public’s favourite by smacking Rex in his smug chops? Probably not, but we can dream. In the meantime, don’t forget to check Paddy Power for up-to-the-minute odds on the housemates.

Story By Richard Hughes.

Hooray! The Mercury Prize is waking from its sleepy hibernation to once again throw up a selection of albums to confuse everyone with.

Typically, there are a few nominees that everyone thinks will win because they’re popular and, of course, there are the albums that no-one has ever heard of before.

But this also means you can boost your own street cred and boast to people “Yeah, I had that album wayyyyyyy before it was swallowed up by the mass music-buying masses.”

Unlike other award ceremonies, you don’t just get a badly moulded statue when you win the Mercury Prize, you also get a £20,000 cheque. What makes it even better is that you don’t have to grit your teeth and donate it to charity. If you’re lucky enough to win, you can spend it on anything you want! From prostitutes to 14,503 Mr Kipling cakes, you get to decide. However, whilst £20,000 may be ace short-term, we have to remind you of the curse that is attached to winning one of the more respected awards in music land.

Previous winners Suede and M People have both split up and faded in to oblivion, Ms Dynamite jacked in music to concentrate on smacking police officers and pretending to be a Formula 1 driver. Portishead took a decade-long break and Talvin Singh/Antony And The Johnsons haven’t done much either.

Last year’s winners Klaxons have dropped off the radar too. Maybe they’re still raving away or are simply reinventing themselves as nu classical to get away from the horrible nu rave image they were tagged with. It’s only been Arctic Monkeys who have continued to be a success after winning.

The ceremony isn’t happening until September, so you’ve still got a chance to run out and buy all the albums to see what they are like. Closer to the time, we may give you some betting odds to help stuff your wallet full of cash. But if Dancing On Ice In The Jungle comes back on our screens, we may just concentrate on that instead. Here’s the list of nominees for the 2008 Mercury Prize:

Adele – 19 – If you don’t live in London, it’s impossible to decode what she’s saying.

British Sea Power – Do You Like Rock Music? – Why yes we do.

Burial – Untrue – Burial should win this, but he probably won’t because he doesn’t whore himself out to NME every week.

Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid – Giving them an award may actually make them smile.

Estelle – Shine – She got her nomination due to her brilliant wonky dancing.

Laura Marling – Alas I Cannot Swim – Whilst most people would cry for eternity because they can’t swim, she’s gone and done an entire concept album on this personal problem.

Neon Neon – Stainless Style – Belinda Belinda Belinda from Big Brother 9 gave them their band name. Fact.

Portico Quartet – Knee-Deep In The North Sea – This year’s band who no-one seems to know anything about.

Rachel Unthank & The Winterset - The Bairns – Radio 2 friendly band to keep the old folk happy.

Radiohead – In Rainbows – From the band that broke the music industry, the Mercury panel are only getting their hopes up to crush them.

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss – Raising Sand – It’s him from Led Zeppelin!

The Last Shadow Puppets – The Age Of The Understatement – Alex Turner is officially a girl now. As Chris De Burgh didn’t say, he’s “three times a lady.” It’s his third nomination in a row, so watch out for the transformation.

Now we're at the bum-end of 2007, it's time to reflect on the year gone by.

It's a year that's seen hecklerspray writers thrown out of magazine-based writing competitions for cheating, hecklerspray writers painted bright orange as a gruesome initiation to other magazines, hecklerspray writers going on serious news programmes to discuss the real threat of wanking Kenyan monkeys and hecklerspray writers waggling huge black dildos around while being scathing about Second Life for digital TV channels. And we're even told that some things happened over the course of 2007 that didn't directly involve people who work for hecklerspray, although we are yet to see proof of this.

But what about next year? What do our senior writers personally want from that? Let's take a look…

Stuart Heritage
Since 2007 was the year that hecklerspray won an award and got big enough for me to go on Sky News to discuss wanking Kenyan monkeys with a horrified newsreader, I'd like 2008 to be the year that you people get more involved by leaving more comments and whatnot. It's you who make hecklerspray what it is, and reading comments – positive or negative, thought-provoking or insulting – is a constant highlight of my day. So do that more please.

2008 might be the year that I try to give up being sincere as well. Bleurgh.

CJ Davies
Interesting one, this. Should I go wishing for something personal – like money, fame, power, or the reintroduction of Pretzel Flipz snacks and Mountain Dew soft drinks into the UK market (seriously, they may like starting wars and all that, but those Americans beat us hands down when it comes to unhealthy snacks. Next time you're out there, try a pack of Sour Skittles – they're pissing unbelievable, coated in some toxic extra layer of sugar that our poncy EU regulations presumably wouldn't allow on 'safety' grounds. The big bunch of girls).

Tempting, but nah. Instead, I'm going to be all out of character and offer what may be considered a 'nice gesture.' My wish is that you, the hecklerspray readers, have a very happy 2008. Because – despite scaring me with occasional obscene gay fanmail and comments like 'OMG OMG u r all haters dissing Pete Doherty, he is a poet innit' – I do kind of like you. Now, go on – enjoy your holidays, you cheeky little scamps.

Shawn Lindseth
As this year concludes and rolls into the next, I can't help but marvel at the scientific intricacies mankind has achieved – we have spaceships now, you know. Yet despite our apparent progress, I know no matter how innovative our creations become, man can never compare to the brilliance of nature.

Take for instance, a man's testicles. Nature created them at least 40 years ago, and the way they convert urine into life giving sperm is still eons beyond anything man could dare dream of creating. Thanks for that kind or stuff nature.

Oh, and my '08 wish is for a financial windfall.

Chris Laverty
I do not want world peace as I have been shipping arms through Iran for over a year now. I have never been so flush.

Gun running is not the easiest business in the world (try quoting it when you next renew your car insurance), yet the people make it worthwhile. Everywhere I go there is a friendly face. Not all of them are breathing, or even attached to a body, but I'm not much for small talk anyway. Best of all, this is the first time in my life that I've ever had a proper tan.

As for next year, I would love to see a gradual phasing out of the mobile phone (I use a satellite phone which is not really the same thing) – in particular texting.

If I see one more ruddy-faced teen button-clicking with such ferocity that he or she is likely to be claiming drugs off the NHS for the next 50 years because of the chronic Arthritis they have developed, I will shoot them with my own stock.

There is an irony in texting being the most anti-social pastime in the world; though not one funny enough to write about. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year – I've got a plane to catch.

Matthew Laidlow
I guess for 2008 I could bang on about finding a solutions for the world’s problems, like solving the lie that is global warming or – like Bono – trying to save the starving by giving them Big Macs or something, even though his efforts have apparently done fuck all. Though I did donate a pound for some rice to some hungry Africans, or maybe it was just a beggar exploiting my naivety so she could buy a tab of LSD. 

For 2008, the real miracle will not be reducing Polish people stealing all the crap jobs British people don’t want to do, but whether or not Axl Rose will finally shit out this bloody album he’s been on and on and on and on and on about for God knows how many years. I’d love to see what the ginger-locked rocker actually comes up with. He has had enough time working on it. Hopefully it’ll see the light of day at some point. even though we all know it's going to be the biggest pile of toss ever.

Annette Hyde
My wish for 2008 is to upgrade my life from lazy to not quite so lazy. I’d like to upgrade from basic cable to standard cable, upgrade from tape deck in my car to portable CD player, aim to put on my shoes on and apply my deodorant before I leave for work instead of while driving, and hemming my pants as opposed to taping them on the inside with duct tape. I know these are lofty goals, but I once I put my mind to something, it always gets done. Eventually. Usually by someone else, come to think of it.

We're coming back in full force on January 2, so be ready for us then. In the meantime, why not leave your own wishes for 2008 in the comment box below, just like one of us asked you to about 45 seconds ago. Christ, what's wrong with you people? 

For years the world has thought that a Jackson Five reunion would be impossible, not least because nobody can imagine going to watch a gang of rickety old child-stars limping through Rockin' Robin fronted by a frail alabaster ghoul.

However, the world clearly doesn't have the self-belief of Jermaine Jackson, because he's decided that this exact tactic is what will make him successful again. According to Jermaine Jackson, the Jackson Five will reform and play some shows next year, with Michael Jackson firmly in place as a member of the group. But, accounting for Michael Jackson's notorious flakiness, Jermaine Jackson has drafted in a few Jackson Five understudies as a contingency should Michael Jackson pull out. And who wouldn't want to see a reunited Jackson Five with Samuel L Jackson, Randy Jackson or noted long-dead American organic chemist Charles Loring Jackson singing all of Michael's parts?

Michael Jackson is the kind of guy that, if he says he'll do something, you can normally expect to wait ten years and a thousand lawsuits before he eventually squeaks out something that's completely unrelated to anything he's ever mentioned. For instance, Michael Jackson's 9/11 charity single never emerged, nor did his Hurricane Katrina charity single. Or his 50 Cent collaboration. Or that album of duets with the dead Pope. Or the album he was supposed to be recording in Bahrain.

And now it seems like Michael Jackson is ready to reunite and go on tour with the Jackson Five again, which to all intents and purposes means that in the year 2035, Jackie Jackson, Jermaine Jackson, Tito Jackson and Marlon Jackson will perform a solitary 90-second song in front of some blank-faced porcelain dolls in a shed alongside a wounded crow in an afro that they all doggedly refer to as 'Michael'.

Or maybe not, because Jermaine Jackson – aka the man who came second on Celebrity Big Brother, making him more famous than the mannish one from S Club 7 and less famous than Shilpa Shetty – is adamant that the Jackson Five will be touring next year, and that Michael Jackson will definitely be in the fold. You know, just like he was during Celebrity Big Brother and – we suspect – every single morning since the Jackson Five officially disbanded 17 years ago.

Anyway, here's what Jermaine Jackson told BBC 6 Music:

"Michael will be involved. We feel we have to do it one more time. We owe that to the fans and to the public… There's been so much going on, getting over all the hurdles that we all were faced with during Michael's trial. But we are stronger than ever. I'm gonna say thank you, thank you, thank you so much to all the fans and the supporters of my family all over Europe, all over the UK especially, who came out to show their love and their support… He was at the meetings. Michael will be involved."

Not only that but Jermaine Jackson also claimed that a new Jackson Five album is in the works which, given Jermaine's tendency to assert himself as the lead singer of the band whenever possible even though he's spent the last 30 years primarily known as Michael Jackson's brother, probably means that he's recording some songs that he might let Michael hum in the background of if he's good.

Of course, that's just speculation – and not particularly good speculation either. Far more likely is the scenario that a Jackson Five reunion is never going to happen, Michael Jackson is never going to take part in it and Jermaine Jackson is either woefully misguided or talking out of his botty.

Read more:

Jackson Five 'Could Tour In 2008' – BBC