Make it stop. That’s all we want. Why won’t anyone make it stop? We’re willing to pay someone to make this Carrie Prejean thing stop.
But oh no. Oh no. Even though this whole Carrie Prejean thing has tediously rumbled along for so long that even gay people are on the brink of admitting that, actually yes, they have been cursed by God just so long as it makes people stop carping on about it all the bloody time, something ridiculous has happened.
A Califonia district wants to make June 1 Carrie Prejean day. That’s the sound of us weeping, incidentally.
Back when Carrie Prejean used the Miss USA pageant to tell the world that all gay people want to do is fart into your open mouth while you’re eating – we’re paraphrasing – what was the most you expected to come of it? A book deal? A reality show? A passing mention on the year-end retrospective programme 2009 And The Arseholes Who Made It Rubbish?
Whatever it was, you probably weren’t expecting it to drag on for as long as it has. All this stuff about Carrie Prejean and Carrie Prejean’s naked body and and how much Carrie Prejean wants all gay people to be rounded up and forced to row Viking longboats until they die of exhaustion – we’re paraphrasing – has burbled on so pointlessly for so long that even Shanna Moakler has decided to get involved.
Shanna Moakler, for crying out. That’s how you know when a trend has run its course, by waiting for Shanna Moakler to get involved. She’s the official cut-off for everything. She was the last person on Earth to hate Paris Hilton with any real conviction, she was the last person on Earth to enjoy the music of Blink-182 and she’s the last person on Earth to have her say about Carrie Prejean. So let’s all agree to disagree and move on, right? Right, California district of Vista? The North Country Times reports:
School officials in Vista were set to vote late Thursday on a proposal to declare June 1 Carrie Prejean Day in the district, in honor of the Vista High School graduate and Miss USA runner-up thrust into the spotlight last month. “Carrie Prejean is not a spokesperson for traditional marriage,” said one of the first speakers on the issue, Jill Parvin, a parent in the district. “She is a former student with the courage to speak her mind.”
Brilliant. No, really, that’s great – name a day after the person most likely to polarise your population, Vista. Very clever. That’s not going to backfire at all, is it? Honestly, just because your district was named after a rubbishy Microsoft operating system, there’s no need to take it out on the rest of the world.
Oh, look, we’re just bitter. Carrie Prejean gets a day of her own just because she’s a blonde girl with massive knockers and a deep-rooted intolerance of her fellow man, but where’s hecklerspray day? Maybe we need to be a bit more bigoted ourselves. Let’s have a go – gosh, those Eskimos really are an awful bunch of wankers, aren’t they?
We’ll be right here when you need us, day-naming committee.
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Joke Police says
I have the courage to speak my mind – I don’t think women should be allowed to vote. Let Friday 15 May henceforth be known as Joke Police Day.
JX says
Hee! This post and all others about Carrie Prejean always make me snort (in a good way)
Anyway, this Carrie Prejean business is so overhyped and annoying. If the conservatives are gonna get their knickers in a twist everytime shit like this happens, it’s gonna be a long long year ahead.
Eugene says
I can imagine some of the speeches at Carrie Prejean day:
“Yes girls, if you win Miss California, you too can get free breast implants from the Miss California comittee! And you too can tell the whole world what an fine upstanding Christian you are (your portfolio of naked and near-naked photography notwithstanding).”
I guess there’s no longer any such thing as shame or embarrasment?
I don’t really have an issue with what she said about gay marriage — I don’t agree with her, but she has the right to an opinion, and the question was obviously a loaded one from a self-promoting idiot which she answered honestly. I have a lot more trouble with the other stuff.
Frank says
Hey, what represents “family values” more than an underage girl posing topless for photographs, as Carrie Prejean reportedly did?
And what represents conservative fiscal values more than breaking contracts, as Carrie Prejean reportedly did?
And what represents Christian values more than skipping out of a commitment to the Special Olympics, as Carrie Prejean reportedly did?
Yes, the self appointed guardians of family values, fiscal policy, and Christian values are putting a true paragon of their virtues on a pedestal!
charlie says
is everybody in california a heterophopia. just becuz a single woman said no, you people want to tar and feather her. you want free choice for youselves, but cannot, and will not, extend that free choice to others.
Gonzo Democracy says
She’s sure a dumb cunt. Check out my blog on this bigot. We need a Carrie Prejean day like we need a Strom Thurmond day.
Gordon says
There is an easy way to make it stop. Go to the appropriate directory on your Web site and type the following –
rm *.*
Bingo! Article count reduced by one.
Bambi says
The Donald is playing Carrie Prejean as long and as hard as possible. She is big time advertising for his businesses (pageants).
I am sure that is the main reason he kept her on. He has noted in the media that her antics are a boost to him business-wise. Watching her is like watching a train wreck. for some sick reason we are facinated with viewing a disaster. I think he was glad those photos came out and for the other craziness that has revolved around her. She is getting trashed and humilated day after day and his pockets get fuller. I think they deserve each other. He seems very ga ga when he looks at her. She may be the next Ms. Trump. What a crazy ongoing story.
Bambi says
Maybe if we stopped showing any interest in her, she would go away. That is what people finally started doing with Octo Mom and it worked. I would certainly like for people to stop empowering her.
I am glad you did your write-up.
Bambi says
I could not help but laugh when you brought up speech ideas on Carrie Prejean Day. They are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
JonFatterson says
Hilarious. “Let me take this dildo out of my mouth so I can preach clearly about Christian morals”.