Sven in the “Theatre of Dreams” - Hmmm. Well not really.

Swedish born football coach Sven Goran Eriksson, best known for his role as England manager, has become a walking legend in his home country.

The man, who is responsible for the recent stability of the three lions, has loosely become the subject for a stage play that is opening next month in his home country of Sweden…

The loose football man is well known for his womanising ways, and famous for the well publicised affairs with television personality Ulrika Jonsson, FA employee Faria Alam.

The tabloids have a flow of continuing thin ice on which to push Sven thanks to his rollercoaster relationship with Italian lawyer Nancy Dell’Ollio. But now, something for the glorious Swedish chef. Swedish press, even.

For Sven has now come under the spotlight in his native country, which is hosting a play about the lothario, who is clearly more 451 than 69.

So what of this new Swedish play? It is about Sven Goran Eriksson, right?

Actually, no. The play is actually about an unnamed Swedish man who coaches England, and has a relationship with three women, a Brit, a Swede and an Italian.

Hmm, sounding familiar, is there a link there?

Spokeswoman Cecilia Johansson speaking in Sweden said, “the play is loosely based on him”. Ah, so it is about Sven then.

Loosely is a very loose word to use, when commenting on the complete and utter obvious.

So is this a Homage to the great man or is this just plainly a great drama about a foregone reality? If you want to know, you will have to travel to Sweden next month and buy your ticket. We will not be joining you.

One assumes that all is not well with Swedish playwrites, and that there must be something more interesting in this idea. But there isn’t. We’re staying put. Ok?

Maybe Sven will have enough time to go and watch it himself? What if the performances mirrored reality so well that Sven morphed into a permanently transfixed state of déjà vu. Freaky fuckin deaky, man…

Mr. Eriksson must now have had enough with the intrusion into his private life. Understandably so after having his affairs become a topic for a stage play. But this really takes the Anna’s Ginger Thin.

Done in by his home nation. Can you believe it?

Sucka = punch