Susan Boyle On Oprah: Loving Her 13 Remaining Seconds Of Fame
This is the big time for Susan Boyle. She’s appeared on Oprah Winfrey. Do you know how famous this makes her?
Susan Boyle is now as famous as that other memorable Oprah guest – the bloke who barbecued some stuff for a couple a minutes a while ago. We forget his name. But anyway, the main thing was that Susan Boyle told Oprah Winfrey how much she enjoys her new-found fame.
Incidentally, Susan Boyle’s interview was subtitled. Not because Oprah’s viewers wouldn’t understand her impenetrable accent, you understand, but because producers wanted to distract everyone from her bizarre werewolfy face.
According to listings, yesterday’s edition of Oprah was a one-off called The World’s Got Talent, but we’re convinced otherwise. Just a few days ago, Oprah persuaded Kirstie Alley to drag her gigantic doughy behind onto the show – possibly with a Hansel & Gretel-style trail of full roast dinners leading from Kirstie’s home to the studio – and now here’s Susan Boyle. The World’s Got Talent? The World’s One Set Of Dancing Cojoined Twins Away From Being A Legitimate Victorian Freakshow is probably be more accurate.
But let’s stick to the subject. Since Oprah Winfrey decided to call yesterday’s episode The World’s Got Talent, she obviously wanted to find the world’s most talented people to appear on it. But sadly the scientists responsible for the pioneering research into fusion power weren’t available, so she booked that pubey midget from Britain’s Got Talent who can sing bad songs in mediocre ways instead.
By which we mean Susan Boyle. The Oprah appearance was just another bewildering example of how famous Susan Boyle has become since her Britain’s Got Talent audition transformed her into a YouTube sensation. She’s appearing on TV shows! She’s turning down presidents! She’s given herself a makeover to stop her looking so much like a Windows 95 clipart of a dumpy caveman!
However, the Oprah interview did give Susan Boyle the perfect opportunity to flesh her persona out for people who only know her as the barely-human Stig Of The Dump showtune lady from the internet. True, her interview was subtitled so, if anything, people now think that she’s funny-looking and unable to form basic words correctly, but whatever. Here’s what Susan Boyle told Oprah:
“It’s like a dream come true. It all takes a bit of time to take in. Things have happened so quickly. I get recognised in the street. I get asked for autographs. … I’ve been getting quite a few letters and quite a few cards from all over the globe.”
However, just because she’s famous enough to appear on Oprah, Susan Boyle knows that she might not win Britain’s Got Talent. After all, she faces stiff competition from the likes of Creepy Child and Ugly Man and, at the last count, roughly 6,000 utterly identical street dance troupes, so it’s not quite in the bag yet.
But, regardless of what happens on Britain’s Got Talent, at least Susan Boyle knows that she’s a superstar. A fully-fledged superstar who’ll be around forever. Or at least until someone posts a funny video of a cat dressed up as a policeman on YouTube and everyone gets distracted and forgets that Susan Boyle ever existed. Whichever comes first.
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I always assumed ‘dismissing’ people because of the appearance they happen to have inherited was a shallow, undignified activity. Now I know ‘better’.
Not a kind word to say about anybody? Criticizing a person for what they do is our right. Being mean about the way a person looks drags us all down. Susan has a beautiful voice, it doesn’t matter what she looks like. When all is said and done, I am glad God made more of me than you, so people are able to appreciate the beautiful talent that Susan has. And she is truly beautiful in her art. What an incredible voice!
why isn’t my comment being published? I’ve done it twice already.
Susan Boyle is a very talented lady with a beautiful voice
what have looks got to do with talent.
Stuart, you sure weren’t in the front of the line when they handed out good looks.
You missed out on talent and compassion too.
What a sad superficial life you must live dude.
Wow, still publicly humiliating people…”no holds barred” celebrity news…more like a bunch of derogatory comments caused by a ‘chip on the shoulder’ I say.
First time on this site. And last. You have nothing inside yourself, so critisizing better from you gives you a feeling of importance. What a moron!
does stuff like this make you feel better about yourself? What a sad little man you must be.
I find that these whiney comments sound even funnier if you read them aloud in the voice of Elmo from Sesame Street.
I wouldn’t be to upset at what the dog journalist who wrote this article has to say….he was probably kicked around and abused as a kid growing up and he’s taking it out on everyone else throughout his life. Im sure with just a little bit of tidying up of his manners he’ll do just what other reasonable journalist do and that is being a wee bit nicer.
well what a shallow little man,you certainly lack talent in all facets my freind.It’s a shame you have to stoop to this level to make your self a “big deal”.Susan Boyle is already a star,you certainly never will be when you have to resort to writing articles such as this.Get a real job!
Whoops,sorry about the spelling “friend”,no ones perfect
Hmmm…..Could it be that “somebody” is jealous. It is usually those that do not have (such as in this case maybe talent and fame), that drag those down that do have.
Susan not only has a beautiful voice, that has touched many. But she also has shown tons of humility, compassion and pride (something that you might try).
I do not know, nor do I want to know the person who wrote this hideous story about Susan Boyle. Obviously the hatred of this person for anyone with talent is what is most coveted in life. I feel so sorry for the author of this bite. May God forgive him or her as the case may be for letting the horror of their soul show through.
Get a sense of humour you nobjockeys.
You know what this site is like… so don;t come here if you all get so frikkin upset over nuthin!
LIGHTEN UP!
Well as a clinical psychologist I absolutely fascinated to know what motivated you to write what you did, though I can probably wager a fairly accurate guess. Was it that any reinforcement or attention (even negative attention) is good?; or perhaps you are into to self flagellation and like to get beaten up!
I am sure you will move right on along to the next person that you can unleash your cynicism on with the goal being reap the adulation or at least the attention of others.
I feel really sorry for Susan Boyle and these comments only increase my admiration of her. Sunjectivly you must be a very unhappy individual.
No doubt, Stuey baby is a Don Rickles wanna be. However, Don Rickles used to “roast” people and then tell them he was just kidding. He had much class. Disco Stu, sans character or talent, has to resort to bashing people — it’s the lowest common denominator and the path of least resistance when you’ve got nothing else.
After all, Stu has rent just like real journalists.
i’ve already signed up at Amazon.com so that when Susan Boyle’s first cd is released i will be able to get it-and trust me i will play it over and over just as i did all her you tube videos.
So much for 13 minutes.This is an incredibly talented woman the likes as we haven’t seen in years loved around the world.
Susan is WAAAY beyond 13 min.