I’ve been president of the Lindsay Lohan fan club for like 16 fucking years, and I’ve stood behind that bitch through a lot. A LOT. I bought “I Know Who Killed Me” on dvd. TWICE! IT WAS $40 WHEN I BOUGHT IT! Anyway, I always had hope she’d make some type of glorious comeback, but, to be perfectly honest, I got over that dream after rehab visit #4.
Well, apparently I can finally say that I’m smarter than Oprah, because even after rehab visit #6, Oprah still believed in that bitch and tried to give her a comeback. Lindsay has her own “reality” show on Oprah’s network about her recovery and shit, and guess what? Bitch hasn’t been all that real. Just real drunk, maybe.
Lindsay has been dealing with all her shit on her reality show and last week even confessed to screwing up by having a glass of wine. A glass of wine? Really? Any alcoholic knows bitch is lying because there is no such thing as ONE glass of wine. Unless you’ve got one of those big ass glasses that holds the whole bottle, no one that truly loves wine can have ONE glass of wine. If my moderately stable ass can’t do it, then Lindsay Lohan sure as hell can’t!
Anyway, sources are saying that Lindsay’s little wine relapse is just a small fraction of what’s really been going on. Apparently, Lindsay has been downing the bad shit basically the whole time and lying about it on tv like she’s me at my grandparents anniversary dinner saying “Only on my second glass of wine!” while buying more glasses on the side and downing them in a bathroom stall (oh my god, I have a problem…), but you what the difference between me and Lindsay is? I can admit that I’m a hot mess who needs a damn leash! I’m not lying to Oprah. OPRAH!
An on-set source (Probably Oprah herself) said:
Lindsay agreed to be authentic and give the cameras full access to her life, but she didn’t… [she's been] drinking since almost day one of filming. The only money she got was from Oprah and that’s over now.
Poor and addicted to wine? Maybe I should get back on Team Lohan. We have more in common now than we ever have.