Superman Returns was a bit of a letdown, wasn't it? Instead of seeing a flying man frisbeeing a burning oil tanker at the moon, we got an emotional study into lost fathership instead. Bleurgh! Where's the fun in that?

Part of the reason that Superman Returns was so lame was that Superman was played by Brandon Routh, an actor so two-dimensional that he makes PaRappa The Rapper look like Vanessa Feltz. Anyway, Brandon Routh is getting married to his girlfriend Courtney Ford, an actress so obscure that possibly nobody apart from Brand Routh and her own Mum has ever heard of her.

Depending on who you believe, Brandon Routh was employed as Superman for two reasons. Firstly, Brandon Routh looks a bit like Christopher Reeve if you dress him up as Superman, give him the exact same haircut that Christopher Reeve had, get a good distance away from him and squint some. And secondly because Brandon Routh has got a giant willy.

Obviously, neither of these factors convinced moviegoers to go and see Brandon Routh in Superman Returns; a strong opening weekend was followed by weeks and weeks of getting spanked by some pirates – so much so that Warner Brothers are reportedly thinking twice about letting Bryan Singer make an overlong, ridiculously expensive, slightly gay girly-ass Superman Returns sequel.

Luckily for Brandon Routh, though, Superman isn't his entire life – Brandon Routh's other interests include almost running over the man who invented Law Of The Playground and getting engaged to girls who he's been going out with for three years. That's right – Brandon Routh is getting married to long-term girlfriend Courtney Ford according to his slave Kacey Spies, who said:

"They are very happy."

Well, good for them. But who is Courtney Ford, this woman who Brandon Routh is supposed to be getting married to? Christ knows, in short, but she was apparently in an episode of Moesha once five years ago. Oh, and Brandon Routh and Courtney Ford have made a short thriller together called Denial. That's all we know, except that Brandon Routh and Courtney Ford seem to want to get married next autumn and Brandon Routh is given to making statements about Courtney Ford that make us want to vomit our lungs up, like:

"She brings me to my knees."

Bleurgh!

Read more:

Superman's Brandon Routh Engaged – People

[story by Stuart Heritage]